To ask how much you’re still reliant on your parents?

[thecatsabsentcojones]

I was having a chat with someone today who still gets quite a lot of financial help from their parents. Her relationship has broken up, she’s a single mum and in a series of freelancing jobs, which albeit being really fun to work in aren’t well paid in that sector. She was saying that amongst her friends it’s really common to have a top up from parents because pay is now so low in comparison to the cost of living.

It’s causing her conflict with her parents who are fed up of subsidising her to work in an industry which is lovely to work in, so they’re asking if she could make changes to her career to perhaps earn more. The skills she has are pretty transferable to other industries. She feels it’s not easy to make the leap and earn much more money.

How much help do people get generally? And what happens with the next generation, who will be there to help them out if there’s the same issues of high property costs and low pay?

[QuestionMarkNow]

Atm no I don't get any financial help for our day to day living.

If I was a single parent, I would need their support no doubt about it (chronically ill and unable to work full time)

The reality though is that many parents do help by the way f providing childcare on a regular basis. So they help in a material sense rather than finacial sense. But wo that help, many parents wouod be totally lost.
So in reality, yes I think a lot of people are still 'dependant' on their parents.

[mothertruck3r]

I don't see the problem. Times have changed. The older generation had a very low cost of living - very, very cheap and large homes, early retirement on a good amount, free university, easy access to healthcare etc. They have benefited hugely from basically pulling the ladder up after them and the only reason they can have such comfortable lives now is because the younger generations are basically subsidising it all - in taxes, rents etc.

The amount people paid in taxes and NIs in no-way pays the cost of a pension for 30-40 years which is what many of the older generation receive, not to mention the free, unearned wealth from house price increases. So why are they surprised when the younger generations cannot afford to live on low wages when house prices have hugely increased (mainly at the benefit of older people).

And even really well paid jobs now rarely have the same benefits as they used to let alone pay for a good quality of life. The future generations are going to be much poorer. The post-war generation was the luckiest and wealthiest generation in my opinion.

[Oblomov20]

None. Since leaving school. I had a part time job whilst at uni. Very close to my mum and speak to her at least weekly.

[RosesandIris]

My parents never helped me at all. My in laws did. Without their help we would really have struggled at several points.

[coffeeaddiction]

No help at all , I would feel totally embarrassed if I had to rely on my parents to pay for me . We are not well off at all but we live within our budget And we save hard and for a long time to buy luxuries like holidays

[dworky]

None. I believe this is the case for most.

[Booboodisney]

@thegcatsmother your son is extremely lucky. Wow.

[Gallacia]

I've never had financial help, ever. I'm 27, ive always just worked hard. My parents aren't in a position to help, they wouldn't be leaving an inheritance or anything like that.

When I met DH, he was speaking about gaining an inheritance in the future and he was the first person I've know to ever be in that position.

All of my friends are in the same position as me.

[Booboodisney]

Meant to add - hope he’s appreciative and does the washing up !

[IHaveBrilloHair]

They're both dead so none!
I don't give my daughter money and she's 18, she's self sufficient and doesn't live at home.

[SqidgeBum]

Yes. They were lucky to grow up when they did. But does that means they should pay for their 35 year old children's bills or mortgage or wedding or car @mothertruck3r?

[2bazookas]

No parental financial help whatever after I left school, it never even crossed my mind to ask.

[anothernamechangeagain]

Oh I should add, my mum and grandparents paid for my wedding when I was 28

[WindsorBlues]

I've been financially independent since I left school at 16, they did contribute around 50% of the cost of my wedding for which I will always be grateful.

[Stroller15]

My parents paid for uni and bought my first car. Then took back the car when I finished uni! No financial help since. I desperately wish the Bank of Mum and Dad would help with a house deposit, but they'd rather put in a swimming pool even though neither one of them swims! It's their money, their choice though. I won't be asking either.

[Astrid84]

None, never not even even when I was younger and lived there haha!!

I left home when I was 16 and been financially independent ever since.

[Difficultcustomer]

@Leaannb I have had hand outs and do at times feel ashamed. Depending on others is horrible. My parents have always been comfortable, so it might also be pretty tough for them to see me on the amount of benefits while they lived a different lifestyle altogether if they chose your “extreme reason”. some would say I had good reasons (health) but no “extreme reason”.

[WindsorBlues]

My parents have bailed my DB and DS on an occasion or two but we wouldn't dream of asking for a monthly allowance.

[Bluntness100]

I think the overwhelming majority of people have no financial help past their early twenties.

Your friend is very entitled I’m shocked she expects her partners to fund her lifestyle choices and feel sorrry for them that they are in this position and raised such a person.

[Enchantmentz]

None and never have since leaving home at 16. My dm isn't well off but is also notoriously bad with money that we siblings have subsidised her at various points over the years. None of us are well off either.

Your dfriend has been lucky to be supported for so long and her dparents should cut the purse strings if they are feeling the pinch, especially as she is capable of upping her own income.

[thegcatsmother]

hope he’s appreciative and does the washing up !. No, but he cooks...

We also help my Mum out, not as much as we did when we lived abroad in that we are no longer paying for her to travel to see us and picking up hotel rooms, dinner etc, but I do her shopping, provide her with stuff I have that she wants, and if she needs stuff doing in the house, then we do it.

[bridgetreilly]

Mine still give generous amounts at Christmas and birthdays, but that's more because they have plenty to spare than because they think we need it.

Earlier this year when I needed a new car urgently, they gave me effectively a bridging loan, so that I could get it right away instead of having to wait several days to sort out the finance. And then they kindly insisted I didn't repay the full amount. I do know that if I were ever in a financial crisis they would be able and willing to help. But they don't give regular top ups or anything like that. I think we'd all find that a bit weird.

[SpeedofaSloth]

None since I left home at 18 for uni. If I came back for a holiday I was charged rent, and I didn't go back after.

DH pretty much the same, no support since leaving home at 18.

We're OK with that.

[thebear1]

No financial support and no constant childcare. Will step in if child is off school sick but no other support. Now they are older and with lockdown I am supporting them. Not with money but with time.

[bowchicawowwow]

My mum gives me a very nice cheque on my birthday and at Christmas, which is very much appreciated and goes into my ISA.

I don't need financial assistance and would never ask or expect anything, however my parents are very comfortable financially and want to help. They say that they either give it to me or it will go on care home fees. I save it and only dip into it for home improvements. My most recent birthday present is being put towards new fascias and soffits