Being ignored by school mum

[Nicedayforawedding]

My ds has a best friend at school, they are very close and in year 1.Before lockdown I was friends with his mum and was often picking up and dropping off her ds, taken them out for the day everything was great.

Since lockdown I’ve messaged her and had no reply despite her reading the messages. After the first two I’ve stopped bothering but she has been on FB liking things on the school FB page (which is weird because she’d previously slagged some of these people off to me!). We are all on the same group so difficult not to notice!

I’d asked in my message if my ds could chat to her ds. my ds really misses him.

AIBU in feeling pissed off ive not heard from her in two months?

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"Before lockdown I was friends with his mum and was often picking up and dropping off her ds, taken them out for the day everything was great."
Hmm. Everything was great for her. Did she pick up your DS, take him out for the day pre-lockdown? I'd guess not. Now we're in lockdown, you can't do these things for her so she drops you.

[rawlikesushi]

I'm a teacher and there is one (lovely) family who haven't engaged at all - they haven't returned a phone call, responded to letters or replied to emails.

I finally got through yesterday and she cried on the phone - said she'd turned off notifications, let her email inbox fill up, and basically withdrawn from the world.

You wouldn't know what had happened from the outside.

Please just be kind and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, always but particularly just now. It can't hurt can it?

[Cyllie33]

@rawlikesushi I agree - but to look at it another way, the person the OP is messaging is being unkind by not replying. If someone is feeling isolated anyway and the people they do reach out to ignore them it is incredibly damaging. It’s just impossible to know I suppose - the person not replying may be in crisis, but equally they may be being rude and unkind!

[SionnachRua]

The lengths people will go to to excuse these users always amazed me.

OP has done all of the giving in this friendship as far as I can see. She's gone out of her way to drive the other kid around. Now OP can't be a gofer and the other parent needs to reply to a message it's all too much? I call bullshit. Yes, she may be suffering with insert issue here during the pandemic but that can also apply to OP. OP is entitled to feel aggrieved that the effort she put into the relationship isn't being returned in the slightest.

I would back off OP and see what she says when the schools open up again. It will tell you a lot about where you stand.

[rawlikesushi]

Well yes, I agree. All I'm suggesting is a more cautious 'wait and see' approach that's all. In time it'll become apparent whether there's a genuine reason or whether she's a horrible user. But no one knows for sure right now, so why not err on the side of optimism and kindness? It seems premature to feed OP's worries and insecurities about it all imo.

[SeasonFinale]

I agree with rawlikesushi.

Also I still cant see why a teacher would ask a PTA member to send school resources to a parent. The teacher would contact them direct.

[Nicedayforawedding]

This is what happened, the head of the PTA contacted me via text saying ‘please can you forward to this message to X’s mum because Mrs (teacher) doesn’t want X to miss out.’

I forwarded the message on as I was told to. Not sure how it works in other schools,this is my only experience of having a child at school.