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Original poster

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?

108 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 15/05/2020 18:28

Now I know that year on year, ASOS never fail to make some absolute monstrosities. Injurious to the eyes. Painful to behold. Insults to the good name of footwear.

But these... these might just be the ugliest I’ve ever seen.

Watch the video to see them in all their hideous glory...

Can anyone top that?

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
Floatyboat · 15/05/2020 21:00

Yeah they make that model's leg look kind of ugly. I presume normally she has great legs.

It's the colour that doesn't help. Would look better on a dark skinned person.

Proudboomer · 15/05/2020 21:00

Do people really wear these? And if so have they never heard of planter fasciitis.
My Birkenstock’s might not be the prettiest sandal on the market but at least they are not going to cripple me.

Aria20 · 15/05/2020 21:01

Oh my god these shoes are hilarious! Who the heck buys them?!

Bedroomdilemma · 15/05/2020 21:05

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens what can I say to those shoes but Grin GrinGrin
I can kinda see who they were targeting with some of the other shoes here (teenage girls, fashionistas with no taste) but who were those Clarks monstrosities aimed at?!?😂

thenightsky · 15/05/2020 21:12

It would take me all day to get them strapped on. By that time, it'd be time for bed and I'd have to take them bastards off again.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 15/05/2020 21:21

I SAW THESE.....back before Lockdown...must have been a "Girl's Weekend" sort of thing

Woman in question was dragging a lurid trolley dolly case on wheels, her legs were mahogany colour from the knees down, her thighs, face and hands were not tanned at all, she loudly air kissed her chum who was wearing a pair of killer heel ankle boots and sprayed on jeans, also with a case on wheels.

All outside Aldi on a very chilly March afternoon! ...I presumed they were collecting some train supplies!

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/05/2020 21:24

Queenest
They look like a torture contraption.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/05/2020 21:27

KFC and Crocs teamed together. Perfect for lockdown.

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
VelociraptorRex · 15/05/2020 21:36

@Mummyoflittledragon where do you find so many monstrosities?? Grin

VelociraptorRex · 15/05/2020 21:37

I feel a lot less bad about my recent purchase of some rather lurid heels!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/05/2020 22:02

Mummyoflittledragon where do you find so many monstrosities?

Hopefully not her own shoe-rack Wink

SkySmiler · 15/05/2020 23:49

They're like gold varicous veins!

Ohffsanywilldo · 16/05/2020 00:18

How about some taxidermy footwear?

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
ErrolTheDragon · 16/05/2020 00:31

Omg the poor moles... and they're probably the nearest thing to being a wearable shoe on the whole thread.ConfusedGrin

What I want to know is whether it would be possible to compile a thread even vaguely similar in its array of monstrosities and cripplers for men?

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/05/2020 07:52

@VelociraptorRex

The KFC monstrosities sadly are not available. According to an article from feb this year (I googled), they are a limited edition 2020 design. I presume production or distribution has been held up due to cv. Thus we cannot even savour the delights of take away on our shoes. The universe is indeed conspiring against us. 😭

I found them by googling “ugly shoes”. According to the article, they will come in a low sole, non platform version for the less adventurous. We can but hope the idea will have been scrapped altogether. If Italy or Mexico (where crocs are made) is still making these monstrosities, I would be pretty disgusted. The polymer resin, I imagine, can be used in PPE.

@Ohffsanywilldo
OMG they are just. Shocking. I have to have a pair! 👏👏

VelociraptorRex · 16/05/2020 08:25

@Mummyoflittledragon I'm devastated, I was going to ask for those for my birthday Grin

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 16/05/2020 08:29

Saw these beauties on Zara a couple of weeks ago.

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
QueenOfTheAndals · 16/05/2020 08:41

How about these? At least they'd be handy in a downpour!

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
CaptainBlunderpants · 16/05/2020 08:45

DH is wondering what I’m giggling at.

sqirrelfriends · 16/05/2020 08:46

@QueenOfTheAndals Those are wonderful, the sweat would pool nicely in the bottom.

sqirrelfriends · 16/05/2020 08:52

@GingerFoxInAT0phat I quite like them - they provide the impracticability of stilettos which the aesthetic qualities of a turd.

FairfaxAikman · 16/05/2020 09:26

Au contraire, I think anything made by Irregular Choice is an absolute abomination and I'd rather walk barefoot over broken glass and angry scorpions than wear them.

Some ICs are OTT and horrific, agreed. But the more conservative ones are lovely - Snapples for example

To think ASOS have succeeded in making the ugliest shoes of all time?
GingerFoxInAT0phat · 16/05/2020 09:55

@sqirrelfriends I mean they’re perfect if you’ve got a jig in Holland at 3pm but yet pirate duties by 8pm 🤷🏼‍♀️

QueenOfTheAndals · 16/05/2020 10:00

@squirrelfriends I got kicked out of Mrs Gloss when someone posted a very similar pair of boots and asked what would go with them. Apparently my answer of "a lamp post and a good lawyer" was NOITS.

CaptainBlunderpants · 16/05/2020 10:47

I got kicked out of Mrs Gloss when someone posted a very similar pair of boots and asked what would go with them. Apparently my answer of "a lamp post and a good lawyer" was NOITS.

😂