Have I fucked up at work?

[millerjane]

So on my internal comms I noticed there was someone with the exact surname as me. My dad is Sri Lankan so our surname is very ...um...specific. I just messaged someone on IM saying "HI never knew I shared my surname with anyone else" (I was VERY bored)

It's really inappropriate/unecessary. How inappropriate was this?

I think I voted incorrectly. I don't think you have done anything wrong and that it wasn't inappropriate. Please don't dwell on it over the weekend, it will all be fine I'm sure.

Sounds like a friendly gesture to me, I wouldn't worry about it.

OP, can you explain a bit more why you think this is so inappropriate? The more I think about it, the more concerned I am about you using phrases like “fucked up”. Is the culture in your workplace one of fear and intimidation? Have they been very heavy-handed in their training about personal behaviour etc? Or are you quite young and new to the workplace?

i did get a relpy quite quickly actually - he said the surname isn't that uncommon which to me was an odd comment given that there's only the 2 of us with this particular surname in a company which has over 30000 employees. He ended it on a friendly note by saying "nice to meet you". I replied "nice to meet you too xx, I've never come across another xxxxxxxx outside of my dad's family. Small world- stay safe blah blah"

Dad dosen't reckon it's a common Sri Lankan surname but he was born and raised here so what does he know.

Don't think we'll be pals but I've been tempted to do it for ages.

ArgumentativeAardvaark - I'm on a grad scheme so still learning the ropes. I just thought it was unprofessional and werid tbh. My company has quite a serious work culture, the other day I had removed the pun "turned on" as people thought it could offend colleagues.

I messaged a colleague at work once as they had the same first name as my sister - the only one I've ever known outside her. She was really nice back!

I think it's a nice thing to do. If someone contacted me in this way I would completely welcome it.

I've done much worse things at work!

I remember being about to tell someone they had put my date of birth on their new starter form.
Of course they had not, we just shared the same date of birth. Which was a nice bonding thing.

My name is the same as a very distinguished US sex therapist - it is really funny what comes up from a self-google (and who wants to get in touch on Reseachgate).