Have I fucked up at work?

[millerjane]

So on my internal comms I noticed there was someone with the exact surname as me. My dad is Sri Lankan so our surname is very ...um...specific. I just messaged someone on IM saying "HI never knew I shared my surname with anyone else" (I was VERY bored)

It's really inappropriate/unecessary. How inappropriate was this?

Like everyone else has said, don’t worry about it.

I had a fairly unusual maiden name. When I was 18 I worked in a large call centre - over 500 agents. I took a call from a man with the same surname. I was so excited as I thought it was just my small family! The man was delighted when I told him; we spoke to about an hour.

I’ve also phoned the bank myself and the person who answered had the same surname. It was great.

I think it’s fine. I have an unusual surname. I worked with someone with the same surname, and we worked out that he and DH were second cousins.

I can’t imagine how miserable it would be to work in the kind of setting where a friendly message to someone who shares your unusual surname classes as an inappropriate fuck up.

Ha, when I was much younger I met a fellow professional at work (niche profession). I'd heard about him prior to this as we shared an uncommon surname that is very regional. As this was in a totally different region people had assumed we were married! I greeted him with 'Oh, hello, lots of people think we are married'. He was very cool at my approach and I felt a bit of an idiot afterwards. I now live in the region where the surname is from and have met a few people with the same name. It's a bit weird because up until that bloke the only people I'd met with the same surname were family!

My grand parents had a very rare surname a few years ago someone did one of those family tree things and there were only 5 in the UK. I saw someone at my work place has the same one I’m tempted to email her and ask about it.

A lady at work has the same first name (not unusual) and same surname (unusual name) 6 separate people emailed me to tell me when she started. I frequently get emails meant for her, which is awkward as she works in an exec position- I don’t. I forward the emails to her and now it’s a running joke that one of us should change our name.

I had a colleague who once accidentally texted (left her phone unlocked) DIE to the CEO. Now that would be something to get worked up about!

Completely fine, I have done similar also. Why are 29% of voters saying it’s an unreasonable thing to do?!

tiredwardsister

I would email her if there were only five in the county you might be distant cousin!!

After a merger, a colleague wondered why her extra allowance hadn't been paid - they'd paid it to someone else with the same name, at the other end of the country.

Nothing wrong in that, in my work in a very large organisation I only share my surname with one other person, and she's my wife!

I think it’s a lovely and friendly thing to do

I have the same name as the company solicitor, Im very lowly but was here first, so I have the email address and phone entry, I regularly get her Mum on the phone, so we had a chat about how weird it is to have the same name, we get on quite well now

I would think it's ok, you were just taking an interest in something.

@DGRossetti I was about to comment the same thing 😂

I think you are overthinking this! Not all that weird at all, the person will either respond or they won't - but it's not exactly career ending stuff :)

Did you get anything back?

Absolutely fine to do this, more people should reach out and chat, especially at the moment! It's nor like you said anything inappropriate

I have an uncommon name. I was once in the US - for a meeting and conference and went into a hotel which the university had booked for me. When I arrived I was given a huge suite with offices etc etc and I was like 'err, all this can't be for me, a nice room yes, but offices, campagne etc -this is a no' then some guy starting telling me exactly what was 'the low down' on quite sensitive subjects. At that point I stopped him and said I think you have been confused with someone else. He was certain it was me. I was equally of the opinion, it wasn't. There was a brief stand off. Then he called someone and someone else came in. She looked at me and said what's your name, I said it's X Y and she said -oh you have the same name as someone else expected. I clearly wasn't a US Senator they were expecting (nor did I look like her in any way, shape or form but found out a US Senator has/had the same name as me! When she arrived at the hotel she did ask me to have a drink with her and I did. She was very nice. I'm currently very high up in congress in my alternative universe!

It's really inappropriate/unecessary. How inappropriate was this?

I’m confused so

YABU to think it’s inappropriate/unnecessary, it’s really no big deal
YABU to think it’s inappropriate ^see above
I hope they are friendly and reply

I would do it too! There are less than 10 people in the UK with my surname (Middle Eastern name) and I would totally email a colleague if I noticed it! [rin]

you are clearly very bored - hence the overthinking.

I think it is a rather nice message.

I think this is something that anyone with an unusual surname would do! Hope you get good news from it

Na it’s fine I’m white British but I have a very unusual surname so i would be the same!