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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I fucked up at work?

135 replies

millerjane · 15/05/2020 15:00

So on my internal comms I noticed there was someone with the exact surname as me. My dad is Sri Lankan so our surname is very ...um...specific. I just messaged someone on IM saying "HI never knew I shared my surname with anyone else" (I was VERY bored)

It's really inappropriate/unecessary. How inappropriate was this?

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 15/05/2020 15:43

It's not inappropriate. At worst it's a bit weird but completely harmless and I wouldn't mind getting a message like that at all!

IVFNewbie · 15/05/2020 15:46

nothing to worry about at all

Original poster
millerjane · 15/05/2020 15:46

My surname is like gurupythayamrila - very uncommon

No CEO - I really wanted to ask if this colleague knew my grandad (passed away somewhat recently)

I am very awkward

OP posts:
Fucktacula · 15/05/2020 15:52

My ex was called Jack Osborne. He used to add other Jack Osborne's on Facebook.

rosiepony · 15/05/2020 15:52

I think it’s charming, don’t worry.

ticktackted · 15/05/2020 15:53

My maiden name was very unusual, I only ever met one "in the wild", we were both delighted & worked out we probably were related. It was at a university interview and we found out because both stood up to go in even though they said my first name Grin it was just so strange to hear it.

DGRossetti · 15/05/2020 15:54

My ex was called Jack Osborne. He used to add other Jack Osborne's on Facebook.

Not Dave Gormans ?

YakkityYakYakYak · 15/05/2020 15:55

I don’t think it’s weird or inappropriate at all.

Haffdonga · 15/05/2020 15:56

The chances are you may be distant relatives so in a way it would be almost more unusual/awkward not to have mentioned it. Smile

NeutrinoWrangler · 15/05/2020 15:56

Can't see why anyone would be offended by that. If they don't answer back, just forget it ever happened. Or maybe they'll write back and you'll become friends!

Neron · 15/05/2020 15:58

I've had this several times! Usually only people from the country know the name and what it translates to. Always get a good conversation out of it and makes me smile every time

CCMcGarry · 15/05/2020 15:58

I don't feel you are doing anything wrong, just a harmless message. If any problems just say I made a mistake but you didn't and it's harmless.

bitofafunnyquestion · 15/05/2020 15:59

I think it's nice! I have an unusual regional English surname and wouldn't think it anything other than a friendly approach.

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie · 15/05/2020 15:59

I can’t see the issue. My surname is unusual. I’ve never met anyone or heard of anyone outside my family with it. I once messaged someone on twitter because I was so excited to see someone else with the name...turned out to be a second cousin!

MrsCVorFluWhoKnows · 15/05/2020 16:03

No don't think so, I have an unusual surname and am always interested if someone has similar (or a version of my name) Smile

KingSheathBelle · 15/05/2020 16:05

I would be quite happy if somebody contacted me like that, my surname is also unusual.

Northernsoullover · 15/05/2020 16:07

I've a rare surname and I always get ridiculously excited if someone else has the same one. I probably would have done the same.

Chewbecca · 15/05/2020 16:12

I think it is fine, you might find you're distant relatives.

My name is relatively common and I am FB friends with one of the others in my organisation, even though I have never met or spoken to her in person!

pooopypants · 15/05/2020 16:13

YABU - you're overthinking this. My maiden name is VERY uncommon and I'd have probably done the same.

tillytoodles1 · 15/05/2020 16:13

We have a very unusual surname too. One day i made a call to another company and the person answering the phone had the same Christian name and surname as my son. I was so surprised it took me a moment to compose myself
He'd never met anyone else with the same surname before either.

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 15/05/2020 16:17

It’s the opposite of fucking up- it’s a nice thing to do, to have a chat with a colleague at a time when people are so isolated. It’s not like their name was a big secret! Did he or she reply?

MyNameWas · 15/05/2020 16:18

I’m SriLankan and if someone messaged me I would be elated to know that there is a fellow countryman out there.

TerrapinStation · 15/05/2020 16:18

Am I unusual, that seems like a perfectly normal thing to do. Is there a cultural reason that you think it's wrong?

I have a facebook friend based only on the fact that we have the same (not that unusual) surname and have exchanged messages with another person on FB who has the same full name as one of my DC, again not that uncommon but made me do a double take when I saw them post in a hobby group I'm in.

I wouldn't give it a second thought personally

Kraejka · 15/05/2020 16:18

You're overthinking. They'll either message you back or they'll just think it's a bit weird and ignore you. You haven't fucked up.
As I started reading and read your Dad is Sri Lankan I thought the rest of the post was going to be something about how you had assumed the other person had a Sri Lankan background and had somehow offended them but you didn't mention that at all, just said you never knew anyone with the same surname - so no big deal.

Sophiesdog2020 · 15/05/2020 16:19

Why on earth do you think it was inappropriate?

My maiden name was slightly unusual, one of my colleagues in same job but different office has that surname.

We went on a site visit together last year, I signed the visitors book after him and, when we signed out, he said “Did you realise that you signed with my surname” and then couldn’t believe it when I told him it was my maiden name - I obviously reverted back to signing with my maiden name when I saw his signature 😂😂

He then asked if I was from the “surname” clan of XX county, and was amazed when I pointed out that my dad wasn’t even from the UK!