To ask if you like your siblings

[User5672]

Me and my sibling were close when children but now don’t really get on.

We get on ok .
We have a laugh when together but she’s not every interested in family get together a like I am so don’t see her much .
She’s only really interested in her dh and their little bubble which upsets my mum and dad

Yes I get on with my brother really well now we see each other often and are really close! We are very similar! As kinda we generally go on but we did used to argue and fight a lot compared to how my children do!

I would be pleasant at social things. Few hurtful bits done to me in the past left out of flights instead of booking us all in. I dont know gets me down sometimes when I see others. Such is life. (3 sisters). I suit myself now

One older brother. We don’t have a huge amount in common and are civil but not close.

I’ve always wanted a sister.

Is there anything we can do as parents to avoid our children growing up and hating each other? Or in some cases is it just inevitable?

I certainly didn’t ‘hate’ my siblings, but we were never close. My suggestions for parents :

1, Don’t force siblings to compete either physically or academically or in any other way. The ‘loser’ will always resent it, and resent you.

2, Accept that siblings can be, and often are, very different people with different personalities & interests who If they were not related would not be friends.

3, Be realistic. If they are naturally close, great. If not, you can’t force them to be and any attempt to do so will Inevitably end in tears.

My sister is brilliant. She's my best friend although we do bicker!

There four of us: I love my youngest sister. We are friends as well and always were when we were kids. My brother, I actually like but don’t see him very often, but we were very close in our twenties and still have mutual friends. This thread has made me want to make more effort.

My oldest sister - we age a toxic relationship. She bullied me throughout my childhood and has continued as adults - she can also be very helpful and charming when she wants to be. I think she thinks I’ve always had it easier than her and she projects a lot of her own negative traits onto me. It has caused me so much mental anguish and heartache over the years, but I realised it didn’t matter what I did to try and make it right, as she would always turn it around into something troublesome.

I realised several months ago that I had to keep her at arm’s length, and I am happier because of it.

I had two brothers; all 3 of us were close as children. Teens and adulthood were weren't so much close - all needed our own spaces and lives - but we got on tremendously well and saw each other frequently, along with our parents. I was the only person I knew who wanted to spend Christmas with my parents and siblings, and who went for a family lunch every week. As people got older and started to die off, we closed ranks a bit. There are only two of us left now, and we live in the same household now, so don't get on quite so well as we used to.

I don't like my sisters particularly

When my mum was dying, the behaviour of one of them was dreadful. It was all about her and she ruined some of my last moments with my mum

I think once my dad goes, I'll not have anything to do with the family.

I'm really close with my older brother (we visit and socialise regularly), friendly but not constantly in contact with the other brother (we like each other well enough but I'm not sure he knows how to operate a phone).

My sister and I are not close at all. Her favourite hobby is trying to cause fights and making our mum upset. She's toxic and if she weren't my sister I'd happily cut off all ties.

Love my sister to bits - there’s no-one else who can make me laugh like he does. Sadly she’s made a lot of life choices that I don’t really understand. She asks for a lot of support in her many life crisis (I have to say mostly from DM, less so from me but I hate what the constant steady/crisis/steady/crisis cycle does to our mum) and it’s incredibly draining for the whole family. She won’t accept any disagreement with the choices she makes, despite leaning on us all. The last time I disagreed with her it made a massive drama, so for my own mental health I’ve stepped back. I would love a normal, steady relationship with her. It’s a shame.

I have a brother four years older - he's a toxic person, I suspect narc or some other personality disorder. He lives quite far away and in London with his wife and they're a pretty good match!

I've been LC with him for years, and DM wouldn't hear a word against him - even though he hadn't bothered to see her for three years during her cancer treatment and DF's long illness.

DF knew him for what he was, saw straight through him. DF died suddenly in January and brother's subsequent behaviour was appalling. The scales fell from DM's eyes and she saw him for what he really is. I was civil to him at DF's funeral (basically by ignoring him) but I won't contact him or have anything to do with him again - apart from inform him when DM dies, I suppose. I won't tolerate his behaviour or attitude around my DC.

You dealing with different personalities too. I think I have accept how it is. My friends are loyal thank god.

No. Can't stand her. My life would have been a lot happier if I had been an only child

Care for them all deeply but not particularly close. They are all half siblings and I'm a bit older. I'm more like an aunt I guess

No. We rubbed along ok until he married but he changed enormously after that.

He's treated our parents horrendously and his wife was really rude to my lovely mum.

I don't get him, I don't like him and I certainly don't respect him.

I’m from a big family - we are generally close knit and several of us siblings talk/WhatsApp most days, some of them are my best mates, we are that close.
I am definitely closer to the ones who are similar in age as we have more in common and grew up together, playing, hanging out, etc. but I personally get on with all of them.

There is a big age gap between the oldest and youngest (18 years) they didn’t grow up together as the oldest was at uni when the youngest was born, they love one another but are not close , they don’t really know each other and only see each other once a year at Christmas.

There have been a fair few fall outs over the years , when we were younger and living in the same house on top of one another, it usually involved the same one sibling who just clashed with everyone.

At school , if anyone tried to cause aggro with any of us, the older siblings would be on them like a tonne of bricks, so none of us ever got bullied!

At the end if the day, we all love and care for one another , we all look out for one another, even the ones that don’t talk to each other that often.

I'm an only but have always admired DH's relationship with his siblings. They're all v. different ppl and DH only really has things in common with his brother, but they're all nice to each other and respect each other's differences.

I think his parents did a great job teaching their children how to respect one another. Ironically, my FIL doesn't get on with his siblings - perhaps it was that experience that encouraged him to show his own children to behave differently!

Not sure whether we're doing such a good job with our two, but we're trying.

My brothers are both massive pains in the ass. And my best friends.

For those that do get on, do you think you're similar in temperament to each other?

I'm close to my brother, despite living 3 hours drive away. We always got on well, and are quite similar personality wise. My dc are completely opposite personalities, but same sex and close in age. Wonder if this bodes ill for them...? a

@AmICrazyorWhat2

That's interesting to hear, although I class my sisters as my best friends, we are completely different and have many differing views. However, like your DH, we're, more than, fine with each other.

Lockdown has shown me that we share the same concerns and responsibility for our elderly Mother, which is something we hadn't spoke of prior to the pandemic.

I’m the eldest of four, DT(Sis’s) and one DB.

I have very little in common with all of them DT’s are obviously very close, DB lives on the other side of the world. I don’t ring them or speak regularly to them, it’s just the way it is.

I’m not hugely bothered.

My sister and I are best friends, we didn't get along when we were younger though.

We're not close to our brother though, which is sad. We see each other for DC birthdays, Christmas and Easter etc. But everything is organised with his wife, not him. I'll talk to her to arrange for DC to see their cousins, I don't think I even have my brothers phone number. My brother is a bit of a nob, but his wife is lovely.

I love 2 of my siblings. The other one...meh😂😂

My brother is one of my best friends. He’s the most hilarious person I have ever met. Been close all our lives. I imagine it’s not that common for a brother and a sister to get on so well, but I had my DS and DD with the exact same age gap as me & my DB and I hope they’ll get along just as well.