To ask if you like your siblings

[User5672]

Me and my sibling were close when children but now don’t really get on.

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

As an only myself, it's interesting to read about these different experiences with siblings - I also wanted some, but some of these stories are off-putting!

Mutual respect and lack of judgement (of each other) are common themes in the positive sibling relationships. Some siblings naturally get along, others maintain cordial relationships by accepting that their sibs are completely different to them - and that's OK.

Also interesting that some posters feel they can rely on their siblings in an emergency. DH gets on with his as they're mutually respectful and tolerant, but we wouldn't rely on them for anything. I'd reach out to a friend first. Perhaps if the sibs weren't so different to DH, we'd think otherwise.

[Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal]

They are (bedsides my family) my favourite people in the world and so are their partners and kids! Couldn’t live without them.

[Liskee]

Love them. Had the usual ups and downs, bickering and shouting matches as kids/teenagers but we're all grown up with partners and families now. We lost my mum about 15 years ago when we were all in our teens and twenties and it brought us closer I think. Very supportive and love seeing each other and spending time with each other when we can. Feel very lucky to have the family I do tbh.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

I’m one of four, and we all get on well.
I‘m sure it’s at least partly because our DM was one of 5 and didn’t really get on with any of them - there was often a lot of bitching (often justified) about one or the other.

She used to say how very glad she was that we all got on. To which we’d reply, ‘You and your lot were the Awful Warning!’

[zingally]

My older sister and I weren't especially close growing up, and likely now, if we weren't sisters, we probably wouldn't be friends.
We are VERY different people, and my sister is firmly on the autistic spectrum, which adds a complicating factor.
That being said, we both make an effort to stay in touch, and if either of us needed the other, we'd rush to each other's side without a thought.

Even thought we're never going to be bestest ever pals, I know she'll always be on my team, and vice versa.

[Mary46]

Hate the mind games. I would be pleasant but sometimes feel no loyalty with one. 2 year gap between us. At least with work etc dont meet too much. Then not sure what our mam says back so always on my guard!! I envy close families.

[mumofamenagerie]

There’s a 4 year gap between me and my sister, which meant that we weren’t that close when growing up (although having said that, we chose to share a room until I became a teenager). We’ve never lived close to each other since I left home, but we speak daily through messages and once/twice a week on the phone. We also go on holiday together, just the two of us, twice a year. I love her to bits and know how lucky I am to have such an awesome younger sister, which I didn’t appreciate fully when I was growing up.

[Ploughingthrough]

Yes I do. I'm the youngest of 3 and younger than my sister by 6 years and my brother by 4 and a bit. Me and my sister never did much together but my brother played with me a lot till he got to teen. Now we are adults we all get along well but we live in different countries to each other. I miss them terribly, wish I could see more of their children, and wish we were the kind of family that all lived round the corner from each other.

[SpnBaby1967]

My brother is a waste of oxygen & a really nasty piece of work. Havent spoken to him in years.

Used to like older sister but she developed a really nasty, selfish streak, and actually if she wasnt my sister I would....simply put....hate her. I love her now as she is my sister but I have cut off as much contact as possible with her.

My other sister has always been determined to compete with me on everything, even though I am not. She is rude, lacks empathy to family members, but is fantastic at her job and I really admire her work ethic and her passion for her friendships. Just a shame she isnt like that with her family.

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

A nosy question from an only child - sorry, I've always been curious about sibling relationships.

If you get on with your siblings but aren't close, do you spend Christmas or any special holidays together? I'm curious because one of my BIL's (by marriage) was miffed last year when neither sibling invited him and his wife for Christmas (they live 3 hours away so not exactly around the corner).

I thought it surprising that a 50-year-old sibling would "expect" to be invited to anything unless it's a big event like a wedding, if they're not especially close the rest of the year. Do siblings still spend occasions like Christmas together as they get older?

It was notable that BIL and his wife didn't offer to host them, of course....

[EmbarrassedUser]

Weirdly enough I was just saying today that if I met my sister at school/work etc, we would never be mates. However, she’s my sister and I love her but she does my head in sometimes and there are certain topics that I just can’t discuss with her as she is ‘always right’ and that’s that 😂 So 95% of the time we get on fine, the rest we piss each other off.

[Mary46]

I suppose I see it how awkward my lot are when I see my husbands side pull together. Families eh.

[BurMaMa2]

My sister loathed me from the moment I was born. I was meant to be a boy. She was unpleasant throughout our childhood (she's 6 years older than me). Made up stories about my bad behaviour, broke things and blamed me etc. As the years have gone by, she's continued to belittle my achievements, mock my professional success and generally deride anything I have enjoyed.
I've tried to build bridges with no success. She is in her eighties now. I doubt that I will be advised of her death.

[DeliaOwens]

I have two. One lives on the other side of the world so we have a very distant relationship. The sibling that lives here lives just over an hour away and we speak regularly and meet up once a month or so. I like the sibling closest to me physically as I have a day to day relationship which is regularly maintained. When my parents are no longer with us, I don't expect to have much contact with the sibling overseas.

[TrickyD]

My brothers were 11 and 15 years older than me; they were more like grown up uncles when I was young. In adulthood we became more equal, close, and we all got on very happily.

My own sons hated each other from the start, 15 months gap. Quarrelling, being disruptive, taking offence at trivia “He’s looking at me!” , spoiling any holidays or days out with their hostility to each other.

Sorry to say it but they really did blight our lives.

Now they are adults and it makes no difference to us how they get on, they are great friends and very supportive of each other. I just wish it had happened years ago.

Luckily for DS2 who has three kids, brother, sister and half brother, they all love each other dearly and look out for and protect each other.

I envy my son!

[Runnerduck34]

I have a brother and a sister. Im the eldest, close in age to dsis and growing up we shared a bedroom , we really didnt get on as kids ,fought like cat and dog , and our relationship improved loads when i moved out and we become even closer when i had dc.
Growing up i had a very close relationship with db which continued into adulthood until he settled down had kids , havent had the same close heart to heart relationship with him since then , which i miss, and I am now closer to dsis. So i guess relationships evolve over time .
Really hoping my DC stay close and get on as adults.

[seeingdouble2]

I love mine when they acknowledge I exist

[LettyBriggs]

I adore mine.

[SionnachRua]

Love one, we are very close. I cut the other out of my life a few years ago and my only regret is not doing it sooner. He is a manipulative, abusive little fuck.

[Jeleste]

I love mine both. My sister is not very social (with the family), but we share a hobby and i spend time with her that way a couple of times a week. We have fun together and she is easy to talk to. And we can always count on each.
My brother i see less often, but his kids are similar ages to mine and i spend a lot of time with them and SIL. Shes become one of my best friends. And i know he would always have my back.

[samandpoppysmummy]

I am close to all three of mine, and their partners / children, although we all live far apart from each other. We are very close in age (only 5 years between oldest and youngest) and so have so many happy shared memories of our childhood. We all know each other so well.

Reading some of these comments has made me think how sad it would make me if my DS and DD weren't close as adults. It's never occurred to me that they might not be. There's 17 months between them and they have always been such good friends.
.

[squeekums]

I have a brother, we havent seen each other in over 15 years.
We spoke for first time last week due to some legal issues around my fathers death and we are very different people.
He was raised by my father, who abused me but adored him. While my brother isnt abusive towards me, he is sympathetic to our father and i cant stand it, literally makes me see red and i cant just smile and nod.
He wants a full on bro sis relationship and i just dont feel it, he a stranger. Yet he seems to think cos we blood we should be close.
Words like "emotional reunion" just make me go 'yeah nah' emotion isnt a strong suit for me lol

[KingSheathBelle]

Love my eldest
Dislike the next one, and vice versa, I've cut him off deservedly
Next one...love /hate, they haven't been there for me when I've needed so can take or leave
Last one ... realised recently our great relationship wa all in my head, selfish and only has contact with me to suit themselves.

All in all, they are people I had no choice but get to know.

[Saracen]

When we were children/teens we didn't have that much to do with each other despite being reasonably close in age. I don't know why. I didn't dislike her; she was more of a flatmate.

The older we ger, the closer I feel to her, especially since our parents died. I am very fond of her now. An odd thing is that I have acquired some of her little mannerisms SINCE growing up, despite living on the other side of the world and only seeing her once every few years!

[Fedhimtotigers]

Yes. She's currently sat next to me while we howl watching naked attraction.
We couldn't be more different. I don't know how two people raised the same turned out so different. But I adore her. She is wonderful and my children love her.