To ask if you like your siblings

[User5672]

Me and my sibling were close when children but now don’t really get on.

No. We were never close really. I'd hoped when he got married and had a family we might reconnect and I made a number of efforts to do that (we both lived hours from our parents, and hours from each other), but that didn't happen either. Now we are dealing with our parents estate and I'm realising that he really just can't be arsed with anyone.

Love my sister, we’re very close and speak or text every day.

No, we don't especially get on. We're all very different. But I'm still glad they're in the world and I'd be gutted if anything happened to them.
Only see them once or twice a year as we live quite far apart.

NC with my brother (weddings & funerals only for last 30+ years).

I generally get on with my sister - but she can be irritating, and doesn't seem to understand that she can initiate phone calls as well as me, so sometimes I let it go a while to see how long before she contacts me. Currently about five weeks.

sorry to hear about your father @Jennyie1 - must be very hard at this time.

Is this another thread question lol?

Does anyone think it’s the parents fault?

Is there anything we can do as parents to avoid our children growing up and hating each other? Or in some cases is it just inevitable?

Is there anything we can do as parents to avoid our children growing up and hating each other? Or in some cases is it just inevitable?

I’m not a parent but I think in our case, it definitely helped that ours didn’t go beyond expecting us not to be unkind to each other. Being pushed to spend time with my sister would very likely have had the very opposite of the intended effect - we became close when we were ready. And since I was a thoroughly antisocial child / teenager, if I’d had to share a room with her I think that closeness would have taken a lot longer to develop (if ever!)

I love all my siblings I've got three brothers and a sister.
My one younger brother is gay and absolutely hilarious he's like me in a male gay version we laugh at the same things bitch about the same people and genuinely get on like a house on fire. He's the one I would say I'm the closest to.
My older brother is protective of me a year between us and we also are very alike in ways and have had some explosive rows over the years in the only one in the family that will stand up to him he's the dominant one out of us.
My sister travels lives over seas she is the free spirit I wish I was but don't have the guts she's lovely but spoilt I think she was spoilt the most and it shows.
My other brother is the longest age gap with me and I'm not as close to him he's a lot younger but an adult and I probably have the least in common with him and I don't like his ways sometimes I still love him though.
I ring four them at least once a week

Also I think it does depend on childhood I grew up with an abusive parent me and my gay brother had the brunt of that abuse he picked on me more but then my brother was next in line. I think that made us closer and we had an allegiance against him.
My sister also remembers it all even though she's younger so she agrees with us but my oldest and youngest brother weren't picked on like we were so they see our childhood differently and we have fell out about it as I didn't understand why my oldest brother let me get bullied so much and never stood up for me.
I think how you grow up affects your relationships with siblings we see things different depending on how we were treated I wasn't happy growing up but some of the others were and that I can't understand as it was hell.

One older brother, very off on friendship, ultimately love him v much but we've been NC sporadically for years. All good atm. We had an unpleasant childhood owing to divorced parents who hated each other and an abusive boyfriend of our mothers. So much has gone unsaid. I'm glad my DS is an only, he has plenty of cousins not too much older than him.

I've 2 older brothers. The younger one was always my favourite growing up and we spent lots of time together playing video games. We are still very similar in many respects and I love him dearly but we're not close. We're both introverts with busy lives and we don't keep in touch much but that suits us iyswim.
My oldest brother is a gobshite of the highest order. We have nothing in common. We had a fall out about 10 years ago and I went NC with him. We've spoken since the death of our DM and I have forgiven him, but it hasn't made much different to our relationship. I still dislike him (as I always have) and wouldn't care if I never spoke to him again.

Large age gaps with mine. I don’t dislike them just feel there’s no common ground. Nothing to talk about. I’m the oldest. They are all younger, care free and no commitments. The conversation doesn’t flow with them. I feel it’s a bit forced. May change when they get older!

I get secretly jealous of siblings close in age. They always seem to close. I’m sure they fight too but they just seem to share a bond I’ve never had!

I'm the eldest of four and I've always loved mine. I'm in my 30s and I'm still really close with them.

Can't stand mine. He is a self centred arsehole and thinks the world owes him everything on a silver platter. His wife has made him worse. They both have an enormous sense of entitlement. I have been no contact with them effective for 10 years. Only saw them when I had to at my parents and now my dad is no contact with him and my mum only sees them when she visits their kids so it's been no contact for over a year and total bliss.

My husband has a bother we are no contact with too except when he calls my husband. I told him he can have a relationship with him but I'm not and neither will our kids. I don't want them around a thieving lying cheating junkie. Luckily my husband agrees.

My sister is 14 years younger than me so not an adult yet and I ve moved out but we video chat sometimes and we get along brilliantly.

I love my sisters, they are my best friends, there are 4 of us, very close in age.

Younger brother, we get on fine. Never argue (not sure why we would)
Both moved out and live independently. He watches my daughter every now and again, we lend each other stuff.
Go half’s on things if the time calls.
Probably only see him every other month or so as he’s in the army.

I adore my brother.

I’m one of three. As a child the other two were close and I hated them they hated me.
It’s mellowed since and we get on on a superficial level. I can’t spend huge amounts of time in their company, maybe a weekend or so once or twice a year.

I suspect as we are all child free, when my mother dies we are unlikely to stay in much contact.

Kind of. We were very close when we were young we had all been through a very rough childhood and this kept us all close along with our gran being our mediator and the one person we could turn to for anything.

I was always the odd one out though. The black sheep if you will and very headstrong and when one of my brother's passed away 4 years ago and then the final thread with my gran passing away over a year ago we all just fell apart and our differences seemed to be much more stark. But I would always see my brother and sister right so I care enough.

Great thread.

I've always felt a little guilty about being a bit indifferent to DB. He's OK but has a definite skill in making whatever we have/buy less than and taking the shine off it.

He wouldn't be my first choice as a friend but since DF died he does travel to visit DM a few times a year and we make a point of catching up then which usually goes OK.

Dh is in very sporadic contact with his brothers - one barely at all.

I wonder if we're culturally conditioned to believe close family ties are more prevalent than they actually are. All those nauseating family themed ads with everyone gurning and hugging like rabid koalas

My dsis and I were close as young children, albeit with older sibling meaness at times, in puberty it was awful, our parents spilt, my Dsis became horrific to be around and became very ill (MH and more). In adult life it’s not got much better,

I get sucked into thinking we are getting along then bamn she will fall out with. It’s fractious, it’s sad.

I'm one of four, oldest is my only brother I'm fond of him, but have very little in common, in fact I have more contact with one of his ex wives!
Dsis is next, we were very close as we lived close to one another and our Dc's all got on, however she is now in a care home with Parkinsons, which has affected her brain, (she confuses me with her daughter) which makes me immensely sad.
Then there is me.
I have a younger sister who I am virtually NC with, she is a very self centred person, her DH is vile and brings out the worst in her, they always think the worst of everyone and question everyones motives they can't believe that anyone can be generous, or do something for someone without an ulterior motive. The only thing I have in common with her is our parentage!
I have close friends of many years that I think more of as family.

No, if they died tomorrow I wouldn't care.

I have one sister. I went limited contact last year. We'd had no contact for around 20 years due to family issues surrounding our narcissistic mother. We got back in touch about 12 years ago but unfortunately it became evident our relationship was ruined beyond repair.

I tried, I really did, but unfortunately she's narcissistic like the mother, and so after years of giving and getting very little in return I decided the stress and drama just weren't worth it. I'll still see her occasionally at family occasions, but other than that I'm much happier the way things are.

Felt sad reading this thread that so many of us don’t get on

Myself and db had the usual strained sibling bickering as kids. It improved dramatically when I left for uni. I’d been away 6 years, came back and we became more like friends, going to the pub together and the likes. I thought we were finally going to have a good relationship and get on.

I was incredibly wrong, I never know what I’m going to get, sometimes he’s lovely sometimes he’s vile depending on his mood. I get lulled into feeling like we’re friends then he pulls the rug out from under me. We moved in with my family temporarily when we moved back to the area, then lockdown happened. I can’t say anything without getting snapped at, he doesn’t talk to me for days including my birthday, deletes me on sm as a petty fuck you like he can’t stand to see me. He has a lot of health and mental health stuff going on and I think he directs a lot of that frustration at me. My mum won’t say a bad word about him or how he acts towards me, I think because of where his heads at which I understand. But it leaves me at a loss, I can’t do much about me and him and when I do question why I get this shit I’m shot right down. I almost feel ganged up on which is ridiculous!

Maybe one day when he’s older we’ll get on, I hope so, but I can’t see it right now because I won’t put myself in a position to just get my feelings hurt.