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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you like your siblings

301 replies

User5672 · 14/05/2020 22:19

Me and my sibling were close when children but now don’t really get on.

OP posts:
Wheresmrlion · 16/05/2020 00:45

I have two brothers who I do love but really we don’t have much in common beyond our children. We all live a long way away from each other. They are useless at keeping in touch with me or our parents, they forget birthdays and I know it will fall on me to sort things out as our parents get older which pisses me off. We get together maybe twice a year for a day which is always nice enough.

But I do know that if I needed them they would do what they could to help me and it’s nice to have the odd in joke about our shared history.

sestras · 16/05/2020 00:47

I do not like either of my siblings

shirleyschmidt · 16/05/2020 00:55

Yes. They're my best friends, and rock solid support network in times of upset. Like all siblings we bicker but apart from DH and my parents there's nobody I trust
in the same way. Genuinely love their company too, I suppose it's the shared history and genetics?

I know it isn't a given with siblings, and I really hope my own children have such a strong bond.

maddy68 · 16/05/2020 00:58

My brother is lovely but rather weak. His wife is crazy and I get frustrated that he is so weak against her and she gives him such a hard time. He suffers with stress and she is the cause although she doesn't recognise it

TheFlis12345 · 16/05/2020 01:00

I love them fiercely but I don’t always ne

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/05/2020 01:01

Haven’t spoke to one of my brothers since 2004 and I worry constantly about other.

TheFlis12345 · 16/05/2020 01:13

Eurgh ad interfered with posting! Anyway, I love them fiercely but don’t always like them that much. I have similar values to my older brother but we have little in common, he could start an argument in an empty room and we have totally different personalities. My younger brother and I are so alike in some ways we literally finish each other’s sentences and have a very similar temperaments but we have different views on life and relationships. Both often frustrate the hell out of me but at the end of the Day, I would fight to the death for them both.

grisen · 16/05/2020 01:39

Oldest of 4. Super close to them all now, practically glued to the youngest one since he was born when I was 13. However my middle two siblings I didn’t get along with as much until they turned 16, different interests and they had each other.

Strokethefurrywall · 16/05/2020 02:11

Older sister whom I adore. We had a younger brother who passed 6 years ago and I would give anything to have him back.

We were/all very close, they're not just siblings, they're the other parts of my heart. We share loos, mannerisms, sense of humor. Where my sister and I are very close, she hides her feelings whereas I like to talk mine out. My brother was always the mediator who balances between us.

I would give anything to hear my brothers voice again, he was 28 when he died and his loss destroyed a massive part of us.

Now I'm so thankful my sister and I have each other though I live overseas so she keeps me updated on the shenanigans of our parents. But when I come back to uk, there's few other people I want to hang out with.

My DH flew my sister and my best friend here to the Caribbean as a surprise 40th birthday present last year, and I could never have dreamed of a more wonderful gift.

My siblings are my treasures. And I also include my sister in law in this, she was married to my brother and remains close to our family. I still call her my sister and I still love and support her. She is with a lovely guy now, who used to be a friend of my brothers so from my perspective he's perfect, because he knows just how precious she is to us and how precious she was to my brother.

LiquoricePickle · 16/05/2020 02:29

There's a seven year age gap between us, so although we were close as children it was different than it is for my kids who are just two years different in she. Now she's my best friend though.

hotstepper4 · 16/05/2020 02:34

I have two, a brother who is 2 years younger and a sister, 11 years younger.

I am mostly nc with my brother, he has Asbergers and can be so scary. I know it's not all intentional but he's been violent many times and even lashed out at my ds when he was just 8 years old. I had to go nc for my sanity. He's incredibly taxing on my mum.

I get on ok with my sister but she is incredibly selfish. She's 26, still lives with my dm and sponges off her. Refuses to work more than 15 hours a week because it's "too tiring" we have very little in common.

I do not feel that I have been very lucky sibling wise

PhilCornwall1 · 16/05/2020 05:11

I think for me it's tolerate, but I don't see my brother that's often at all. The only time I see him is if we are all at my parents at the same time. When they are gone, I'd say I won't see him at all.

He's one of these people who will only contact you if he needs something. We've sent messages to him a few times since all the covid effort kicked in and got nothing back, so can't be arsed now.

Professionally he's been successful, his personal life is a sodding mess, but that was always on the cards.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 16/05/2020 05:24

Yes, I love them both very much and like them as people. We live quite far apart so don’t see one another as much as we’d like but I’m grateful to have them and know we’ll always have that support.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/05/2020 05:35

DB1 - no. Total idiot, and a tremendous liar. He lied compulsively as a child and lies through his teeth still now. He also has a son who's 6 months older than my DD and is a violent little turd of a boy. I've stopped visiting because I was sick of her getting hit - bit DB won't hear anything said against his little angel, apparently my DD is sensitive because she doesn't being hit in the head with a huge plastic truck Hmm

DS1 - yes and no. She has her really great moments and we'll have such a good laugh, I can talk to her about a lot of problems and she's supportive. But she is one of those people who seems to love drama and goes out of her way to make life hard for herself. Her children have loads of issues (depression, anxiety, school struggles, bed wetting, etc), and rather than concentrating on, for example, getting them out of their depression or helping them improve with school work they're struggling with, she'll get her another dog to make herself feel better. She can't raise dogs for love nor money and the dog ends up shitting everywhere or biting someone. Her house is disgusting I can't go round without heaving because it's so messy and ridden with dog hair, piss and shit. Meanwhile while she's busying herself with a new dog or hobby her kids are sat upstairs suffering in silence with whatever is plaguing them at that time. It's stressful being in her life. She's always "kicking off" at people too - there's never a polite request! "I bought an iron from Debenhams and it didn't work so I took it back and kicked off.". FFS. It's just embarrassing.

DB2 - yes very much. My favourite sibling. We are very close and see each other often. He has the most precious and lovely DD who my DD adores, and they play brilliantly together. She's the only one of my sibling's children who is a joy to have 🙊. I really miss them both and they'll be the first people we visit when we can mix households.

Hmmmm88 · 16/05/2020 06:36

I love my 5 big DB and we talk most days.

Hmmmm88 · 16/05/2020 06:38

I'm not the annoying little sister anymore so we get on great

Lonelymum11 · 16/05/2020 06:42

Not really. I don't dislike them, we are just totally different people, we don't live near each other, and we only really see each other at Christmas. When we do see each other we don't argue or anything, but it's clear we wouldn't be friends if we weren't siblings.

ohmyword20 · 16/05/2020 06:43

I adore my sister. We had a tough upbringing. We hated each other for years, we had our own ways of dealing with the chaos at home. She went off the rails, i went into myself. We were very different. But one constant was the way she protected me. I didn't see it at the time but somehow i always felt it.

One day at i was 14, she was 16, we ended up having to walk somewhere together (begrudgingly) and we had a lovely chat about nothing in particular. We've been best friends since. She's my biggest champion.

Westiegirl3 · 16/05/2020 07:27

I absolutely adore my brother, always have done we are now 38 and 33.
I would give him anything he needs or wants and drop anything I'm doing for him if he needed help and I'm 100% certain he would to the same for me.

skinnyhotchoc · 16/05/2020 07:28

Brother no. Sister yes although in smallish doses

Inappropriatefemale · 16/05/2020 07:33

My brother is very bitchy and judges people on their homes, he is that stereotypical gay guy that is all about how things look, he is also materialistic and we are poles apart there, don’t get me wrong we are similar in many ways and I like material things too, but I don’t judge others for not. He also lies to people about what he does for a living and pretends to have a mortgage and it’s Blush for me.

BenjiCat · 16/05/2020 08:31

For those of you who have relatively poor relationships or are no contact with your siblings, do you ever worry about what will happen when your parent/s either become unwell or pass away?

It is something I fret about. I can't see my sibling being reasonable or cooperative at all.

NotEvenTheKing · 16/05/2020 08:37

I love them all. But I can't say I like them all. Two of them wind me up. Still expect our mum to bail them out of their poor life choices, despite being late 20s (and a mother of 2) and early 30s. They can be very rude and argumentative. There is a reason I live a 2 hour drive away from all my family ... Grin

PhilCornwall1 · 16/05/2020 08:38

It is something I fret about. I can't see my sibling being reasonable or cooperative at all.

Oh mine will be a pain in the arse. If he quibbles over any wills, I'll just tell him to take the lot, fuck off and carry on with his miserable life. It would be the shortest and last conversation we'd have.

VictoriaBun · 16/05/2020 08:42

I am an only child, but my dh has 2 brothers and they have no contact with each other. As far as I'm aware they have not fallen out ( will speak at weddings, funerals etc ) but in between times (years ) no contact . I find that strange , as would love to be able to say I have a sibling.