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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop paying cleaner?

89 replies

MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 16:41

Need some thoughts MN! I’ve been paying my cleaner for the last 10 weeks whilst she hasn’t been coming at 80% of salary. She’s self employed via an agency. I had intended to do so until the self-employment packages are available in June (still not comfortable with her coming although this could change). I talked to her today and asked if she would be applying for support in June when it’s available.

Turns out she’s not able to because she hasn’t been declaring her income, and has been receiving benefits due to low income. I know she needs the money and now feel torn. It’s not for me to police her affairs but also I don’t think I want to keep paying when support would have been available had she paid tax. I really like her and value her help, I want to keep her for the long term. There is very little other work around in our area (Midlands).

So AIBU to stop paying her from June until she returns to work?

Or should I look at the bigger picture that we want to be able to help and want her to come back when the time is right?

OP posts:
roses2 · 14/05/2020 16:53

You were very noble to continue paying her for the past two weeks but now knowing she has been claiming benefits whilst probably still not declaring the income - do you feel comfortable being complicent in this?

roses2 · 14/05/2020 16:53

Last ten weeks that should have been Smile

SweetPetrichor · 14/05/2020 16:54

I wouldn't be paying her and I'd be reporting her for tax and benefit fraud. Cheeky so and so deserves it!

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 16:58

@roses2 I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective, you’re right it does make me complicit.

OP posts:
spongedog · 14/05/2020 17:07

That was her choice and now she has to take the consequences.

No I wouldnt want to continue paying someone who has deliberately decided to commit fraud.

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:12

I wonder how many others will be in this position, I know she really needs the money and I have always really liked and trusted her. I feel a bit gutted to have found out to be honest

OP posts:
sittingonacornflake · 14/05/2020 17:15

If you're going to pay her when she comes back to work then it doesn't really make any difference morally if you keep paying her now. Either way the money isn't being declared.

jgjgjgjgjg · 14/05/2020 17:15

You say that you like her and value her - then why aren't you comfortable with her working in your home now? Is someone particularly vulnerable in your home? Or are you known for being particularly anxious?

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:16

Yes we have a vulnerable family member

OP posts:
CoRhona · 14/05/2020 17:17

I had exactly this conversation with DH today. We've paid ours since lockdown started but I think, as we are all going to be wfh / not back at school for months, we need to review and probably cancel.

DH thinks as we are getting paid, we should continue to pay her which is how I felt initially but this situation will continue for months.

Watching this thread with interest!

sittingonacornflake · 14/05/2020 17:17

Laughing at the concept of not wanting someone unnecessarily in your home right now making you 'particularly anxious' Hmm

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:19

@sittingonacornflake true, the moral dilemma I was debating was knowing how much she needs the money. I suspect she will be declaring income from now on, although I guess that would mean losing the benefits

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 14/05/2020 17:20

We paid as ours is self employed. We aren't vulnerable so she is coming back next week. We normally keep out of the way whilst she's cleaning so there won't be a lot of difference to before

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:24

@CoRhona is yours self employed too and do you know if she will be able to access support from June? If so you shouldn’t have to, that’s what I was hoping

OP posts:
Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:26

I feel like I have to:

  1. have her back before I feel ready (and possibly before she feels ready) so I’m paying her to work not collect benefits

  2. stop paying and remind myself it’s not my fault

OP posts:
PrettyTricky · 14/05/2020 17:27

I wouldn't pay another penny and I wouldn't be having her back. Benefit fraud really angers me. I wouldn't report her as I'm not that kind of person, but I wouldn't be complicit in her fraud.

PrettyTricky · 14/05/2020 17:30

I think you're missing the point that she has been collecting benefits all the time she has been working and not declaring income. She will still be doing so now, it's not a case of you paying for her so she doesn't collect benefits, the point is that she's scamming the system by claiming benefits she wouldn't be entitled to if she was declaring her income to HMRC!

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:31

@PrettyTricky I usually feel this way too but it feels totally different when it’s someone I know and like so much. I actually feel a bit let down

OP posts:
Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 17:32

You’re all right, the benefits bit is more important than the payments

OP posts:
Classiccar · 14/05/2020 18:06

With this information to hand now OP, do you trust her in your home? If she doesn’t get work from you, she’ll get it elsewhere so you need to think about that. How do you feel about getting someone new in your home?

Yankathebear · 14/05/2020 18:10

She’s proven that she’s dishonest and untrustworthy. I wouldn’t have her back in my home.

CrouchingTraceyHiddenLadders · 14/05/2020 18:17

Not that it makes a difference to your dilemma, but the self employed income grant awards started yesterday (I applied online in the designated slot I was given) and should be paid within the next 5/6 working days.
End of June was the original target date, but it's been brought forward. All claims are expected to be made during 13th to 18th May.
I was so pleased to see the amount of my award and feel justified that I've always declared all my income.. including payments made by cash. Most of my clients pay by bank transfer or standing order.
I'm surprised that your cleaner admitted she'd been commitying benefit fraud. In some way her telling you shows she is honest with you at least.
I don't think you should report her, but other than that I'd pay her by bank transfer in future (not cash).

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 18:35

@CrouchingTraceyHiddenLadders that’s super helpful to know thank you, I hadn’t realised. I actually pay her BACS but I think I’m the only one of her clients who does so perhaps declaring mine still allows her to stay under the benefits threshold without declaring the others? Really glad for you that you’re able to receive the support you deserve.

@Classiccar She’s not in my home and I’d kind of like to keep it that way which is why I have the dilemma. If she comes back later it wouldn’t undermine my trust in her working for us. But I do feel let down

OP posts:
Alicemovedtothecity · 14/05/2020 18:43

How many clients does she have??

She may still be able to claim benefits if she is earning very little and may not have realised?

Original poster
MoralDialEmma · 14/05/2020 18:47

I think she has 6 or 7 clients and she works full time hours.

OP posts: