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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cut grapes

272 replies

FreedomBird · 14/05/2020 07:39

I have a 3 and a 7 year old. And I no longer cut their grapes.

Me and DP had a massive barney about it last night and I’d like to know if I’m BU.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 14/05/2020 15:31

My friend said the dining room were completely ashen faced after the incident.
They weren't the better of it.....

I can only imagine if it was your child and your trying to dislodge it.

It really is life or death and no paramedic is going to get there on time.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/05/2020 16:03

If you don’t teach your kids to chew and don’t give them any choking hazards while you are there to supervise then how do you expect them to handle them when they’re older? Magic?

Neverender · 14/05/2020 16:05

Cut the grapes and don't give them mini-eggs

Sandybval · 14/05/2020 16:08

If you don’t teach your kids to chew and don’t give them any choking hazards while you are there to supervise then how do you expect them to handle them when they’re older? Magic?

It doesn't matter if you are supervising a child when they choke on a grape, due to the shape and what the consistency there is a good chance you won't be able to dislodge it. There are plenty of foods they learn to chew, and yes they could choke on anything so they do learn to handle how to try and mitigate it; and when they're older they grow up so they chew more reliably and have a bigger wind pipe.

onionface · 14/05/2020 16:14

If you don’t teach your kids to chew and don’t give them any choking hazards while you are there to supervise then how do you expect them to handle them when they’re older? Magic?

By learning to handle things which aren't choking hazards first. Eating is a learned skill, they get better over time. When they're older they can chew better, have more room in their mouth to chew food, have a larger windpipe so things get stuck less easily, are much less likely to get distracted while eating and concentrate on what they are doing, and are more easily able to feel the first signs of choking and stop themselves before it happens.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/05/2020 16:20

No I don’t believe that, case in point there are thousands of desi men out there who never learned to handle apple skin because their mums and then their wives peeled them for them (peeling apples is a thing in India / Pakistan / Bangladesh).

MitziK · 14/05/2020 16:22

I've done the training and I've had to deal with an adult and children choking over the years (and a cat, but she was different - didn't stop my having to be in the minor injuries the following day for a Tetanus jab, thanks to her utter ungratefulness).

The force I had to apply to a fully grown man in order to get the 'thrust' required to expel the test item put him on the floor gasping for breath.

Whilst I would be able to instantly identify choking and effectively tip a kid over and wallop them hard enough and in the right place, it's very difficult for somebody to do that when it's their child, because it quite naturally feels wrong and there is a risk of freezing or panicking in the process.

It's far easier to cut them up and not have to worry about if you'll notice they've gone quiet in time, whether you'll be able to apply enough force in the right place - or perform CPR - if the worst happens.

JassyRadlett · 14/05/2020 16:28

If you don’t teach your kids to chew and don’t give them any choking hazards while you are there to supervise then how do you expect them to handle them when they’re older? Magic?

Please see my earlier posts on how my seven year old, fully capable of chewing, nearly died.

No one is suggesting pureeing all their food in perpetuity. But grapes are a specific hazard.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/05/2020 16:31

It’s not just grapes though. Case for case it’s sweets and hotdogs / meat that cause the most choking incidents - way more than grapes or other fruit / veg. Yet it’s the grapes that are being oversensationalised. I don’t see anyone still cutting up meat for a 3-5 yo even though statistically that is what they will most be likely to choke from.

JassyRadlett · 14/05/2020 16:35

It’s not just grapes though. Case for case it’s sweets and hotdogs / meat that cause the most choking incidents - way more than grapes or other fruit / veg. Yet it’s the grapes that are being oversensationalised. I don’t see anyone still cutting up meat for a 3-5 yo even though statistically that is what they will most be likely to choke from.

The OP asked specifically about grapes. It is unsurprising the thread has focused on grapes.

Sweets and hot dogs / cocktail sausages have been mentioned on this thread.

Can you share the stats on meat? I don’t see a whole lot of people giving their pre-school children a slab of steak without cutting it up though....

In any case wouldn’t steak or other meat chunks form a less perfect seal and allow small amounts of air to get by, this buying time for medical help? I can tell you firsthand about the difference that makes.

JassyRadlett · 14/05/2020 16:38

Whilst I would be able to instantly identify choking and effectively tip a kid over and wallop them hard enough and in the right place, it's very difficult for somebody to do that when it's their child, because it quite naturally feels wrong and there is a risk of freezing or panicking in the process.

And they really panic! Trying to get my (tall, leggy) 7yo to let me get him into the right position to try to dislodge the grape was so, so difficult because he was so terrified and panicking and not able to follow directions.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing I didn’t say thank you earlier but thank you! I completely agree with you about DS 🙂

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/05/2020 17:15

No worries @JassyRadlett. You were understandably distracted by yet more ridiculous comments on this thread.

jgjgjgjgjg · 14/05/2020 17:19

I even cut up very small grapes for the hamster! Apparently they can choke on small whole grapes too if they don't store them in their cheeks properly and try to swallow whole!

FoxtrotOscarPoppet · 14/05/2020 17:31

Completely your decision. However as someone who has choked on food before - utterly terrifying and not worth the risk.
As someone who has also stopped a child from choking, equally terrifying and definitely not worth the risk.
You’d never forgive yourself.

PrettyTricky · 14/05/2020 17:32

Bloody hell, please cut the grapes. Even reading that freaked me out. Jesus.

GaraMedouar · 14/05/2020 17:40

I still cut up grapes for my 8 year old DD. She also knows, when she occasionally has them whole to bite them so she eats each one in two goes if you like. I also eat grapes like that - it only takes a second to choke if you shove one in whole and it goes the wrong way etc.

Nanny0gg · 14/05/2020 18:19

Can I add marshmallows to the list of choking hazards?

OP - well done for listening.

All you others that are ignoring the posters with Direct Experience of the dangers of grapes and similar foods - words fail me. Stupid doesn't even begin to describe you.

jajaja123 · 14/05/2020 18:20

YABVVU OP

avroroad · 14/05/2020 18:25

Yet it’s the grapes that are being oversensationalised.

Eh? The thread is about grapes. This is why people are talking about grapes.

SummerHouse · 14/05/2020 18:28

I still always cut them for an 8 yr old Blush

It's just one of my things. DP thinks it's amusing and won't do it and I respect that. But I always do it.

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 18:30

I'd forgotten about marshmallows...
But yes, the thread is about 🍇, that's why they're taking centre stage 🤪

TriciaH87 · 15/05/2020 00:10

You realise even an adult can get a large grape lodged at the back of their throat. My eldest is 13 I still make him cut them if he wants to eat grapes

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