To not cut grapes

[FreedomBird]

I have a 3 and a 7 year old. And I no longer cut their grapes.

Me and DP had a massive barney about it last night and I’d like to know if I’m BU.

I didn't know it was a thing until I saw the Times Magazine, no one had ever mentioned it to me.

I never heard the sausage thing either until my friend told me.

I used to cut the sausages up but hadn't actually given it any thought as a chocking possibility.

I used to care for two 18 month old children as a mothers help. I honestly knew no better in my late teens and followed instructions including distributing olives as part of their lunch. Was never told to cut them, they just had a small pot each. All good until one choked on one and I had to hang him upside down whilst frantically calling my mother.

Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, thankfully through pure bloody luck the child was fine. I shudder at the memory of it. Just take no chances. I let my seven year old eat them whole, my four year old doesn’t like grapes but if he ate them I’d most definitely be cutting them up.

@DappledThings

It really would seem so! I feel like I’m bashing my head repeatedly against a brick wall of stupidity! Deliberate ignorance will not bring a choking child back to life.

Deliberate ignorance will not bring a choking child back to life

This should be made into a headline for the thread. And with many responses it really does feel deliberate

Is this a recent thing? Offspring are in their twenties and I've never heard of this

I think awareness has risen in recent years, yes. As it has for many safety issues and practices, luckily!

It must also be much safer to teach your 3 year olds to make sure to chew their food properly (meat, mussels, tomatoes, fruit, whatever) when they're at home. If they don't learn to do that when they're being supervised, surely they're much more at risk if they go out to tea or on a play date or to pre-school and are given whole grape or similar - and don't know that they're meant to chew it?

It's clearly possible to cut grapes AND teach your kids to chew. It's not like they swallow half-grapes whole anyway.

@DappledThings

Maybe we should plead with MNHQ to change the thread title!

On knowing how to chew - I remember my DSis starting school at just turned 4, and the pudding was prunes and custard. She didn't know about the stones because mum had always taken them out first. Not wanting to spit them out, she sat and swallowed each one, until someone noticed her face and helped her out.

(I can't imagine schools serving prunes and custard now - our school was a bit Dickensian even by the standards of the time.)

It might be worth taking some time to go through things and explain, but I would still cut them - some of them can be really tough - I may even cut my own now

It seems like this is in the same category as sticking covers on plug sockets or rubber corners on tables

It may seem that way. Until you have watched your seven year old, who had been sitting quietly, and who knew perfectly well how to chew, accidentally inhale a grape. When you’ve watched your child starting to turn blue, and seen the utter terror in his eyes as he struggled to breathe.

It doesn’t ‘seem in the same category’ after that, no.

@JassyRadlett

I can’t possibly imagine and hope never to understand what that situation possibly feels like! Your poor boy! I hope he’s ok now.

Grapes, popcorn, whole nuts and seeds, hotdogs/sausages, and apples are the main choking hazards for under 5s. Seeing a toddler biting chunks off an apple terrifies me!

The people who think "my child can chew well and handle it" are mistaken. All 9f the children who died of choking could probably handle them just fine too, until they couldn't. It only takes a moment of distraction or laughter for something to slip into an airway.

@onionface It was laughter for my son - sudden inhalation as he was putting a grape in his mouth.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing Thank you! We were so lucky and he was fine - nightmares for a while. My nightmares lasted longer, and I’ve agreed to cut up his grapes until he’s 40.

The irony is that he was fairy phobic about most foods from toddlerhood onwards and we worked so hard to get him eating a wide variety of foods!

And thank you for fighting this fight. Kids can’t make these choices to keep themselves safe. I’m evangelical about it now.

OP might have changed her mind but there are still plenty of wilfully blind folk commenting. As if the children who died just didn't chew properly If it was that simple, it wouldn't ever happen..

@JassyRadlett

The nightmares are understandable. The child I knew who choked on apple wouldn’t go near them for years. She was 7, sat down and eating with her dad. Luckily, her dad was able to save her by flinging her upside down and forcefully hitting her back until it moved. That in itself, whilst necessary and done because he loved her, must have been scary for a 7yo.

Onionface

I totally get grapes and sausage/ hotdogs are choking hazards. They are perfectly round with skins that make them stick.

Why would nuts, seeds and apples be?

Op I'd definitely cut grapes, long ways and I do the same with sausage. Maybe not for a 7 year old but definitely a 3 year old.

I cut for my 3 and 6 year old. I will be for a while yet although I have started making sure my 6 year old knows to bite any grapes if he gets them at school etc. He actually refuses to eat whole grapes though as I've drilled it into him so much and I am happy with that!

I had a friend who was a pead consultant in London. He's very well known

He always told me to not cut grapes. Unless they seem the size of your child's throat. It's a but if a guess. But when they were babies. Grapes are too big. In which case. They use their tongues to feel the size. This sends signals to their brains. Which means they will use their teeth

It's Inhalable food that's the problem. So when they get slightly older. About 5-7. That grapes become Inhalable sizes.

Same as lollipops. Same as popcorn. Same as chocolate buttons. Or jelly tots when clumped.

I've never cut up grapes. However you can choke on anything. In reality.

Peanuts have always been known as a choking hazard for small children haven't they? I am sure that was a known thing when I was a child, and that was many years ago!

I assume for little children they won't have their molars to chew some foods and their gums won't do the trick.

Grapes are the perfect shape. That's the biggest problem. It's the exact shape of a windpipe. That's why there is so much press about grapes getting stuff

Cos once it's stuck. There's usually no getting it out

My dd once choked on a child kate button. The big one. Thankfully it melted.

But not until she almost lost conscious and had gone blue!

Yes to peanuts, I was thinking more about bigger almonds, and walnuts etc.

There is also a theory that some peanut choking incidents may actually have been allergic reactions rather than choking just people didn't know.

However you can choke on anything. In reality.

Absolutely you can but the difference between a lump of chocolate and grapes is that the lump of chocolate will melt down. Grapes will not melt, dissolve or break down in any way in your child’s throat.

@Blackbear19

Apple because it has hard, smooth skin and its possible to bite off airway sized chunks, and is easy to inhale because it's light.
Whole nuts because they can block airways or stick in airways. Same with whole, large seeds. And smaller nuts and seeds can easily be aspirated, and while they may not totally block an airway they can get stuck in an airway and cause an infection because they're very hard to dislodge.
Big globs of peanut butter can also be a choking hazard, it shouldn't be served off a spoon but spread thinly.

That in itself, whilst necessary and done because he loved her, must have been scary for a 7yo.

Yes, my boy did point out (between both of our tears, turns out that in the middle of a crisis I’m ace but immediately after it’s over I’m fucking useless) that he didn’t see why I’d hit him so hard, didn’t I know it hurt?

Bless him. We were so lucky, he must have started to bite down on it before he inhaled it and so a tiny bit of air was able to get down one side of it. And I managed to dislodge it. So close to disaster though.

A friend's 3 year old choked on a grape. He didn't die but was brain-damaged due to lack of oxygen.

The poor thing ended up paraplegic in a high-necked wheelchair being fed through a tube.

He suffered years of emergency hospital admissions any time he caught a cold or an infection and ongoing problems with his lungs.

Until he finally succumbed to an infection when he was 12.

If that doesn't convince you to make he effort, then nothing will.

@JassyRadlett

He sounds brilliant! As do you. Totally normal to fall apart afterwards. All the adrenaline is fading away.