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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child has been selected for a Covid test!

408 replies

Livingmybestliferight · 13/05/2020 13:26

He's 10. Does not want to do it. Am wondering why they are doing this and whether it has anything to do with schools opening or not?! Would I be unreasonable to refuse this opportunity?

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 13/05/2020 14:13

Why does he not want to do it? What's he scared of?

Endofmytether2020 · 13/05/2020 14:14

I wouldn't force him (and I say that as someone who had to "encourage" their child to have seven injections and twelve blood tests a day from age 8). He is allowed not to consent. That said, I would try to address his fears as he may need to have the test for other reasons in the future. Yes, it is an opportunity to contribute to the greater good and it would be great if he wanted to be involved, but you absolutely shouldn't "put your foot down". It is not obligatory to be involved in medical research and forcing a child into a medical procedure that may be uncomfortable can be traumatic. I would bear in mind though, that he might, in the future, feel very proud to have been involved in research, so if you can unpick his fears, then it would be a great thing to do.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/05/2020 14:15

He literally has left the house to go on a short walk twice since 22nd March

Unless he is on the official shielding list this is very irresponsible of you.

Just1972 · 13/05/2020 14:15

Your answer is in your post. He doesnt want to do it.

Dont do it

Cattermole · 13/05/2020 14:16

I'm 47 and I got this letter earlier this week.
I've asked for the swab but my only concern personally is the lack of guidance around it - specifically, what am I expected to do if the test comes back positive, it apparently takes about a week? Should I then retrospectively self-isolate, and at what point can you assume you're not positive any more?
Maybe when I get the pack these things will be clearer.

Aquarius67 · 13/05/2020 14:16

Hi,
I got one of these letters too. Am doing it. A friend had the test done at a drop in centre, she said it is not bad. A second of discomfort- no more. She was more concerned that do nose and throat with same swab... lol. It’s for a good cause and I am certainly happier knowing if have it or have had it.

PointlessUsername · 13/05/2020 14:17

I would explain why it is important but if he still refused i would go with what he has chosen.

Lockdownbordem · 13/05/2020 14:18

I've just been to take the test today; randomly selected as reporting via the app. It was quick and didn't hurt at all. You have to swab the back of your throat, which wasn't nice but that was the worst part.

Of course he doesn't have to do it and I wouldn't force him to. But it's a good way to discuss disease and statistics and how medicines are developed. I also feel like I've contributed, even in a small way.

SweetPetrichor · 13/05/2020 14:18

I'd be telling him it's important and he's doing it. He doesn't get to make the decisions as a child - that's your job.

shalo2 · 13/05/2020 14:19

I had the test done and it’s not sore. It’s up the nostril, each one I think, and a swab stick gently on the back of the throat. Makes your eyes water if anything but it is not sore.

My ten your old would not be keen either to be honest ! But it’s nothing to be scared of

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/05/2020 14:20

I'd be telling him it's important and he's doing it. He doesn't get to make the decisions as a child - that's your job

As the test is voluntary, I assume from this that you are not someone who places any value on "consent".

How disgusting.

EllaEllaE · 13/05/2020 14:20

I think that consent is an important message to send children. If he doesn't want I don't think you should force him. Just have a chat with him so he understands why it is being done. If he still says no accept it. It's his body after all.

This. Public health surveys like this are always, always^ consent-based. The statistical model used to analyze the results take into account people who 'refuse consent' - i.e., don't want to take part. Your son not wanting to do it will not make much difference in the long run.

I might think he should do, many people on here will think he should do it. But it's up to him, not us. At ten, he is old enough to have a conversation about the pros and cons, and decide for himself.

PillowBobbles · 13/05/2020 14:20

It's an NHS letter. It tests for both whether he has got it or has had it.

Is the study run by Imperial College and the DOH?
If yes then it's to test whether your son has it not whther he has had it.

I'd encourage him to take part. i also feel like it's doing your bit for the community. Why is your son scared? It's just a swab.

Thisismytimetoshine · 13/05/2020 14:21

Agree, SweetPetrichor. What if he decides to opt out of his next set of booster jabs, op? Will he get his way there too?

Gtugccbjb · 13/05/2020 14:22

Don’t do it. Someone else that’s holier than though will shove their kid up to take his place.

Megatron · 13/05/2020 14:22

Why is he scared OP? Does he even know what's involved?

AndMyHairWillShineLikeTheSea · 13/05/2020 14:22

I'd be telling him it's important and he's doing it. He doesn't get to make the decisions as a child - that's your job.

Hmm to be fair, he does get to make this decision as it's about his own body and isn't required for his health (in which case of course a parent should over rule).
I would definitely be trying to persuade him, explain there's nothing to be scared of, explaining he'd be part of helping the government understand more about this illness.
I wouldn't, however, be pinning him down and forcing him.

goatley · 13/05/2020 14:24

But if people just don't do it then the results will be inaccurate.

Unshriven · 13/05/2020 14:24

Is it the test that sends the swab through the nose to the back of the throat?

I can't see many people being able to do that properly, not to themselves or their child.

YouTheCat · 13/05/2020 14:26

I have the letter. On advice from medical professionals, I am not going to do it. It is practically impossible to do an accurate nasal swab unless you've had proper training. If it isn't done properly all they'll get is a load of negative test results whether people have had the virus or not. The nasal swab - scroll down - is not just in the opening of your nose.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/05/2020 14:26

But if people just don't do it then the results will be inaccurate

All we can do is implore people to make the right choice. Forcing someone (especially a fucking child!) to take it when they have chosen to decline is simply not acceptable.

MinkowskisButterfly · 13/05/2020 14:26

I am gobsmacked by the amount of people who feel a child doesn't have the right of consent over their own body. It's not a vaccine, it is a research investigation.

ExhaustedGrinch · 13/05/2020 14:27

He might think that the swab is like the one shown on the news that goes up your nose and down to the back of your throat, which wouldn't be particularly nice for an adult (who can understand the importance of testing) never mind a child.

That's my thought, if it's one of those then there is no way in hell I could get my 9yr old to have it done and I wouldn't force him. I'd be very reluctant to have it done myself. Logically I know it would be fine but even just the thought of it makes me feel ill. I am particularly squeamish though and I'm close to fainting with blood tests/injections etc anyway.

Thisismytimetoshine · 13/05/2020 14:28

What medical professionals have advised you, YouTheCat? Presumably there are medical people involved in the testing process also Confused

JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate · 13/05/2020 14:28

It’s his decision but I would absolutely encourage/bribe him as much as possible. What if these tests become a pre-requisite for schools / clubs / travel? It would be better to get used to them. It is FAR less uncomfortable than a blood test or even getting blood pressure taken.

You cannot do the test because you would invalidate the careful randomisation and age range selection of a carefully designed national study.

Like the poster above I’m also concerned he’s only left the house twice in 7 weeks. He needs vitamin D from sunshine and 10 year olds need about 2 hours exercise a day (but maybe you have a large garden and he’s been outside every day).