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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child has been selected for a Covid test!

408 replies

Livingmybestliferight · 13/05/2020 13:26

He's 10. Does not want to do it. Am wondering why they are doing this and whether it has anything to do with schools opening or not?! Would I be unreasonable to refuse this opportunity?

OP posts:
TheMagiciansMewTwo · 13/05/2020 15:21

It's not a vaccination or a dental appointment. Yy research is important but they expect a percentage to refuse to take part so if your DS doesn't want to do it and you don't think it's worthwhile (ie you're not concerned about his exposure to the virus) then say no. It's fine to refuse.

Wilmalovescake · 13/05/2020 15:26

It’s antigen not antibody. So it only tests if you currently have it, not if you’ve already had it.

Lifeisabeach09 · 13/05/2020 15:26

Although I feel he should have it done, it's his choice.
If he says no, then respect it. There will be plenty of other candidates as researchers always factor in non-respondents/participants into their research sampling (I believe!)

Custardcreamies101 · 13/05/2020 15:27

Its literally 10 seconds back of throat and 10 seconds in one nostril. I can’t imagine my mother letting me refuse if it was me. You’re the parent.

purplepandas · 13/05/2020 15:33

As a researcher I would not make my ten yr old (and I do have one) do this if they did not want to. Informed consent is critical and I am actually a researcher who works with children and young people ironically. I would absolutely explain the importance of it and why taking part would be helpful etc. I am in favour of course but consent (informed, not the same as just consent) is critical. I know we are really talking about assent in a child this age but we would not engage a child in a study if we felt they did not want take part yet the parent signed the parental part of the consent form. Both child and parent have to agree.

GabriellaMontez · 13/05/2020 15:34

Explain how simple it is. Reassure him. If not then its fine not to go. Lots would be keen to know if they had it.

Could you be passing your own anxieties on?

ghostyslovesheets · 13/05/2020 15:36

They aren’t refusing to test I’ll people - I am ill- tight chest, tiredness and sudden persistent cough - did111 online today at 10 was at a drive through test centre at 1:00 all done by 1:20!

It wasn’t the nicest thing but it was fine.

However OP it is his body and his choice

Hollyhobbi · 13/05/2020 15:39

I wish we could get tested. At least then you'd know. My nephew and bil were tested yesterday. Bil is a health care worker. They have symptoms though. And my 12 year old nephew is not the best of patients but he was grand having it done.

PenfoldsFive · 13/05/2020 15:40

MIL had the nasal swabs done in hospital and said it was extremely painful. Are the home kits different?

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/05/2020 15:41

No, they’re the same. But I guess some people’s extreme pain is another person’s mildly uncomfortable.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 13/05/2020 15:43

I can’t imagine my mother letting me refuse if it was me.

What does this mean? Surely your mother wouldn't have held you down and forcibly done it, so how would she or any other parent not let you refuse?

Lweji · 13/05/2020 15:43

Check what's expected.
Are people supposed to do throat and nose swabs at home, by themselves, or a relative?
That's crazy

SusieOwl4 · 13/05/2020 15:44

so there do seem to be varying opinions and descriptions of the test ? so perhaps the home one is different.

once I had the full information I would make every effort to persuade my child to have it done . But obviously would respect their informed decision .

No answer as to why the child is scared?

Nonotthatdr · 13/05/2020 15:45

Consent is vital an if he doesn't consent and there is no harm to him in refusing then don’t do it.

PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT SWAB YOURSELF INSTEAD. How the donkeys will we find out which groups of people have and haven’t got it if a swab the researchers think belongs to a 10 year old boy actually belongs to a middle aged women.

Imo if you and your child aren’t shielding and you live in an area with safe access to outside space I would encourage him to leave the house for the benefit of his mental health. After I did my two weeks in self isolation for symptoms I felt really scared about going out but much better when I did

Lweji · 13/05/2020 15:47

I wouldn't rely on the public to perform swabs properly. The results of the tests won't be trustworthy.
Unless it's not with swabs. Check it.

Sandybval · 13/05/2020 15:48

If he's 10 he is capable of making that decision, I am sure plenty of other people will be happy to do it. We had a letter after DS was born asking if we would consent to him taking part in vaccine trials for something, so not quite the same and we made the decision obviously considering he was only 3 months old; but selfishly I don't regret it even though it pushes science forward etc. Just forget about it if he is sure.

JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate · 13/05/2020 15:49

@ghostyslovesheets that’s great you were tested so quickly! Wishing you all the best.

StCharlotte · 13/05/2020 15:50

Ooh my DH received an NHS Ipsos/Mori letter today. I wonder if that's what it is? I think he'll be pleased to do it. Especially as he's a public-facing key worker.

Thisismytimetoshine · 13/05/2020 15:52

I wouldn't rely on the public to perform swabs properly
Nor would I, not when a pp narrowly avoided ramming the stick into their brain!! Still marvelling at how the hell they managed that...

MinorArcana · 13/05/2020 15:53

I’d be trying to talk him into having it.

But then, if these tests were freely available, I’d be interested in all the family having them done so we knew if we’d had a mild dose of it already or not.

LemonTT · 13/05/2020 15:53

Maybe not the best thing to leave to his discretion. In a few years time it won’t exactly be a badge of honour to remember what you didn’t do for society in a time of crisis. If I knew my kid would be reluctant I wouldn’t give them the choice and would have refused in their behalf.

Worrying that a healthy child isn’t going out. It would also be worrying that a shielded child was taken out.

thelastteacake · 13/05/2020 15:56

OP why hasn’t your child been out?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 13/05/2020 15:59

I can’t imagine my mother letting me refuse if it was me.

Yet I can't imagine my mother forcing me because she believed strongly in bodily autonomy.

I'd encourage him but not force him. Sit down and run through his fears and worries and see how he feels once he knows exactly what it is. But please don't force him.

recededpronunciation · 13/05/2020 16:00

I went to a drive in test centre yesterday as I had been selected by the symptom tracking app, I suspect as part of the tests they are doing to refine the algorithms and because they are testing some people who are asymptomatic as well (this was explained in the email). Was shown how to do the back of throat and nasal swab, given a pack, then drove to next stage where I could park and do it myself. The written instructions in the pack were very clear. Then all sealed up following the instructions and bag handed in. It was very straightforward and though perhaps a little
uncomfortable certainly not painful. I Would encourage but wouldn’t force my ten year old to do it but I would explain to them why they had been asked to and that the information would help us to understand and limit COVID. I’m pretty sure that once they understood what the test involved and why it was being done, they’d be happy to take part. However I’d respect their decision if they really didn’t want to.

Coyoacan · 13/05/2020 16:03

What is he afraid of?