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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child has been selected for a Covid test!

408 replies

Livingmybestliferight · 13/05/2020 13:26

He's 10. Does not want to do it. Am wondering why they are doing this and whether it has anything to do with schools opening or not?! Would I be unreasonable to refuse this opportunity?

OP posts:
Merryweather80 · 14/05/2020 20:22

What would happen if he were poorly and suspected of having the virus?- would you allow him to still refuse and not know if he had it? Would he refuse treatment? Would you still be ok with that?

Not all medical procedures are pleasant but as things go - trust me this is nothing.

acatcalledjohn · 14/05/2020 20:23

Oh for goodness sake it’s a two second swab. It doesn’t hurt. What will he be like if he ever needs a blood test?

Stop generalising. My partner has no issues with nasal swab/cameras up nose, but practically faints when blood is involved (has to lie down). I'm the opposite. I can watch a needle go in and be just fine.

Everyone is different and forcing them to feel the same as you do will have the opposite effect.

TooOldForSims · 14/05/2020 20:25

Oh for goodness sake it’s a two second swab.

I thought it was 10-15 seconds?

LisaD76 · 14/05/2020 20:33

acatcalled it would not be for my own agenda... it would be for the whole countries benefit.... of course I would rather do it myself but surely it is just a swab test?

bumptobean · 14/05/2020 20:39

Explain the test and how it’s done, get his answer and respect that.

I certainly wouldn’t force my child. It’s optional for a reason.

Half of these people commenting probably don’t do anything themselves yet are lecturing. Get off your high horses and go help with other tests in different areas to “help science” or donate blood. Idiots.

coffeewithcream · 14/05/2020 20:49

My son too has had a letter & been selected randomly but he is not keen either. He is 13. Very doubtful he would have it as we have been careful & has not come into contact with anybody apart from myself & his dad and have not had contact with anybody

Oblomov20 · 14/05/2020 20:58

Why you wouldn't encourage your child to be part of a scientific study. Even if he hasn't had it. Is beyond me.

Mepop · 14/05/2020 20:59

Just explain what is involved and why they are doing it. Let your 10 year old read the letter. If he still refuses then fine but make sure you do not pass your fear on to him. Let it be his decision not yours. It is surprising what kids will agree to if they think it helps others. My son with kidney issues agreed to take part in a 5 year study which meant he had blood tests every 3 months and scans once a year. If it wasn’t for the study it would just be a blood test every 6 months and no scans. He hates blood tests and the scans but wanted to do it as he liked the idea of helping others. He did it from age 6 to 11 and could have dropped out any time but wanted to keep doing it.

SuperFurryDoggy · 14/05/2020 21:05

Sorry, haven’t RTFT so this may already have been posted, but there is more than one type of Covid-19 test being used.

This is the one being used for the home tests: www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-taking-swab-samples/how-to-use-the-self-swabbing-kit-for-a-combined-throat-and-nose-swab-video

My DH has had to continue working and many of the sites he has visited require him to have one. He’s had the following:

  • blood tests (was once given the choice of that or a finger prick test, but blood test meant no waiting time)
  • nasopharyngeal (sp?) test with the long swab up the nose. Think it depends on the skill/ruthlessness of the tester as he found one very unpleasant indeed and still had some pain the next morning
  • throat and nostril swap, which seems similar to the home test ones and is, I’m told, no big deal

No idea how accurate they all are or exactly what they are testing for or why there are so many!

Isaidnomorecrisps · 14/05/2020 21:32

How many posting here have done the online test?
It is 2cm up the nose.

Not to the back of the brain, not where the sun doesn’t shine.

I wouldn’t advocate the scary version - but this one doesn’t hurt.
Perhaps this is about the research body explaining that too.

Pawsandnoses · 14/05/2020 21:46

It would be a shame not to do it but you can't make him, it would just be wrong. I suspect he's more scared of a positive result than the actual test. There has been so much in the media about isolation and saving lives, and on the flip side, lots of accusations thrown about that people are threatening life by going to B&Q etc. A very bleak picture has been painted and many are convinced that if they get it, it's certain death. Now as a rational adult, I know that's not the case, but as a child, jow terrifying is that amount of responsibility. Should my DD of similar age be selected, I would play it down in terms of result and play up how important she is for research. I wouldn't physically make her do it, but I would try to convince her.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 14/05/2020 22:13

Of you can make him - he's 10!
Just tell him that he's having a nose swab for the greater good. A very good lesson to learn.

TooOldForSims · 14/05/2020 22:29

Just tell him that he's having a nose swab for the greater good. A very good lesson to learn.

And if he still refuses?

Singlenotsingle · 14/05/2020 22:35

The swab goes one inch up the nose. It's not invasive and it doesn't hurt.

Hagisonthehill · 14/05/2020 22:40

The swan goes in until it meets resistance then you rotate it for 10-15 seconds.Not painful.The throat one is a bit trickier,stil 15 seconds so best done in 2 parts.
Fresh in myemory from this afternoon.

Rocket1982 · 14/05/2020 22:48

This is scientific research - it is unethical to force anyone to take part. However, this is more important than your average study! It is important that the vast majority of people who get selected to take part do it. The fewer do it, the less accurate the results. This is because of the importance of random sampling. If you invite a random sample of 100 people to take part in the study and only 50 do it, you don't know why that 50 have chosen to take part and the other 50 haven't, and that can lead to unknown biases in the results. In this case, participants are more likely to volunteer for a study on coronavirus if they think they have had coronavirus. If these people do the study and other people refuse or drop out, then we end up with overestimates of infection rates and prevalence of antibodies. If my child were selected I would explain to her the importance of doing the research but if the child is old enough to make their own decisions then consent both from the child and from the parent is needed.

MarvellousMayhem · 14/05/2020 23:53

If he doesn’t want to do it that’s fine, don’t feel bad. It’s optional it’s for a study, at 10 years of age he knows his own mind. The swab is unpleasant but tolerable. I can’t get my 8 year old To stay still for nasal spray let alone get them to put a swab up their nose! it would be really Tricky to try and do it to him.

wildchild554 · 15/05/2020 04:40

It's up to you and your son to decide, just have another talk with him find out whats bothering him, why he doesn't want to do it if he still doesn't want to do it and is scared no point in forcing the matter. I certainly wouldn't be at that age and highly unlikely we've had it either as shielding due to high risk.

Youneverknowwhatyourgonnaget · 15/05/2020 09:29

I have been selected too.wish it was the antibody test but I will definitely be doing it anyway

differentnameforthis · 15/05/2020 10:02

@Thisismytimetoshine Why would you feel the need to display your ignorance on the Internet?

Perhaps you can answer that yourself, as I find this comment ignorant! You have no idea what the op may/may not do based on one thread.

It's the likes of op who'll be sharp elbowing her way to the front of the queue for the vaccine, should we ever get one.

@LisaD76 it would be for the whole countries benefit I really have an issue with people forcing an 11yr old to have a invasive swab done "for the good/benefit of their country" I would not want any parent to force their child to do anything for my benefit. Because I sure as hell won't force mine to do it for yours.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 15/05/2020 10:14

YABVU - just get it done please, he’s 10
he’ll be fine. The sooner we start testing the sooner we can get back to some sort of normality

NearlyGranny · 15/05/2020 10:36

Still so many people who think there's no point testing if the person being sampled has been socially distances or isolated. They're not testing on the basis of symptoms - they're testing randomly to learn the rate of the virus in the community!

If every person unlikely to be infected dorsn' t respond or refuses, how will we learn anything? I think only very good reasons should be behind a refusal.

" I think my child won't like it and I'm not even going to tell him what's involved or try to explain to him why he matters," is a pretty feeble response.

At ten he has done enough maths and science and PSHE to grasp what's going on and understand the potential greater good for the whole population and the downside of skewed data with holes in it.

At least share the letter, discuss the purpose and importance of the survey, give him time to consider and then let him offer his informed consent or refusal from a thoughtful point of view. He'll respect you for it.

MommyR · 15/05/2020 13:36

I don’t really understand why you wouldn’t want to have him tested it’s just a mouth and nasal swab. Surely you would appreciate peace of mind 🤔 even if your son did get ill you would expect the nurses and doctors to do tests then so why not accept a precautionary test now??

Lweji · 15/05/2020 13:44

The sooner we start testing the sooner we can get back to some sort of normality

This study won't impact much on return to normality.

The tests needed are for people with symptoms and their contacts, and people who are more exposed to the community and patients.
That's what cuts transmission chains and allows the rest of the population to resume something resembling normal life.

FelicisNox · 15/05/2020 16:19

It's not the most pleasant of tests but it's not the worst either and they will be careful with him.

As his parent you should be encouraging him but not forcing him.

It would also help if you took him out for a walk once a day: unless he is shielded due to medical issues there is zero reason for him to be holed up at home 24/7 and this is very likely increasing his fear.

It would also help if you weren't such a drama Queen as he is likely picking up on your fear and that is not helpful.