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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child has been selected for a Covid test!

408 replies

Livingmybestliferight · 13/05/2020 13:26

He's 10. Does not want to do it. Am wondering why they are doing this and whether it has anything to do with schools opening or not?! Would I be unreasonable to refuse this opportunity?

OP posts:
GlomOfNit · 14/05/2020 18:30

some truly awful attitudes displayed on this thread.

If OP's son declines to do the voluntary test, the researchers will have allowed for a certain proportion of test refusers and will be able either to compensate for that or to enrol others on the study.

He is ten FFS. He's old enough to decide. I think a responsible parent would talk him through what's involved and explain why it's important and exciting to be part of this study, but at the end of the day, this isn't like a vaccination. It's not directly benefiting him (eg, the parent should make the decision even if their child doesn't want to), it's a voluntary role in a study.

Some of the comments here, trying to imply that the OP has somehow terrified her child about this swab ... FFS. A ten year old is very capable of watching the news and absorbing what's going on by himself, but not necessarily of being able to process it as an older child or an adult would. He'll have seen people being swabbed on the news and might have thought 'Nope. Don't want to do that' for whatever reason he has.

Saying 'I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to compel him to have this done' frankly speaks more for the lack of imagination of those making that sort of comment. Hmm

My own older son has some autistic traits (he has a younger and very autistic brother, and we see a fair amount of similarities) and I absolutely guarantee he wouldn't want to do the swab test. I've said absolutely nothing to him about it when we've seen it on the news. But he's very squeamish and sensitive about 'procedures' (you should hear the fuss he makes about having fingernails cut). He's 12. He's very smart and understands why these sorts of things are important but god, I hope I don't ever need to persuade him to do it.

Carriecakes80 · 14/05/2020 18:31

My daughter is 12 and is happy to do it. She is going round her brothers and sisters calling herself 'The Chosen One' lol.

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 18:35

frankly speaks more for the lack of imagination of those making that sort of comment. hmm
I think your "It's not directly benefiting him" speaks even more.
Frankly...

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 18:36

Good on her, Carrie 😄

CourtneyB123 · 14/05/2020 18:36

I've had the swab and it's over with in a few minutes. Would have that any day over a blood test/injection of any sort. But, I agree as pp have said it's his choice but its defintely worth trying to encourage him if possible

Isaidnomorecrisps · 14/05/2020 18:40

It’s no biggie - I just did one on myself after weeks of Covid to make sure the virus has gone.

You’re his mum and he’ll take the lead from you. It’s much better than a vaccination! He won’t remember anything afterwards if you’re calm about it. And it’ll be cool to talk about.
Use the torch on your phone to see into the throat better - works a treat.
And seriously, of course you should do it - it’s nothing compared to what many families are going through.

CostaCosta · 14/05/2020 18:41

If he's scared i'd decline. They'll then just contact someone else and seems there are plenty on here who would be fine for their child to have it.

Hanywany · 14/05/2020 18:43

Just so you know the swabs have to go right to the back of the throat and right up the nose it's not pleasant and it is quite distressing for a child my 2 year old had it done in hospital last week for safety purposes (just in case)and he did not like it one bit!! Sad

SiliconHeaven · 14/05/2020 18:45

I had the swab on a cruise ship 16th March before I was allowed to disembark. It was the ‘brain scrape’ type and hurt a lot. I don’t believe there’s any way an untrained parent could know how to do that to their child. It must be a simple nostril swab surely?

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 18:47

The instructions linked to earlier state specifically to insert "just inside" the nostril.
Have those setting the guidelines got it wrong or is it the people ramming it up their nose as if they're cleaning a chimney??

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/05/2020 18:48

I'd sell it to him that he's part of a national research project and make it sound exciting. I should imagine he'd be capable of doing the test himself so not as bad as someone else putting a swab up your nose. The ONS study out today has been very revealing and informative so it's important and I believe being involved is part of being a good citizen.

Hanywany · 14/05/2020 18:48

I'm taking it that's what my child had was the brain scrape it wasnt nice and he didn't like it one bit!!

Isaidnomorecrisps · 14/05/2020 18:48

Ps and for the posters who say it’s important he can choose - what about understanding that this is a small inconvenient thing which he can do, which greatly benefits the world he lives in? Is that not also an important message? Ps yes I have kids around that age and they might be a bit scared but they’d do it.

roxfox · 14/05/2020 18:50

If he doesn't want it don't make him. It's of no benefit to him if he isn't feeling unwell and at ten years old he isn't obliged to serve his country by helping the survey.

The test might just be a swab but it's relatively painful and causes discomfort- as shared via various news outlets and friends who've had the test.

Don't make him do it if he doesn't want to, I urge you!

LovelyIssues · 14/05/2020 18:50

It's voluntary. Just bin it.

LisaD76 · 14/05/2020 19:16

My daughter would do it if we were asked, I wouldn’t give her a choice in the matter

noriim · 14/05/2020 19:19

Really sad if he doesn't want to do it if you have explained properly what the test is for.
I'd struggle to understand why you both wouldn't do the above?
Does he want to be able to live a life free from the fear of Co-vid?
Every strain will bring more deaths and the young might not be protected next time.
Why can't you explain this to him in a way that makes him proud not resistant in helping the global effort to save millions and millions of lives? Sad
Maybe let him read this thread

Saysh11 · 14/05/2020 19:40

He should not be forced or convinced to do it at that age at all if he is scared to do it.
I'm sure they will end up with enough children to be able to continue with their testing.

expatinspain · 14/05/2020 19:53

My daughter is the same age has seen the test numerous times on TV and is scared of the nasal swab as she’s seen how far it goes in. I wouldn’t force her to do it. Why force a scared/anxious child to do something like that when there are plenty of others who would think it was cool to take part or wouldn’t be bothered either way.

I’m wondering exactly how the parents who are saying they would would actually force a scared child. Hold them down? Order them? Threaten them? What? I’m not a soft parent by any stretch, but some of the responses on here are just fucked up. On the one hand MN is all about consent and body autonomy and then it’s you’ll do as I say with your body because I’m your parent and I’m the law.

MsCRobinson · 14/05/2020 19:53

It's his choice and his right to not take part.

SnackSizeRaisin · 14/05/2020 20:00

@TheModicum
I agree with all you've said. There will be loads of false negatives as it's quite unpleasant having a swab taken. I am surprised anyone would trust a parent to do it properly on a young child. A nurse did one on me and I couldn't tolerate it enough for her to get the sample she wanted (I would far rather have a blood sample or even a smear test, that's how unpleasant it was). This research will be pointless therefore I would decline. Quite apart from that I am dubious about the ethics of subjecting children to an unpleasant procedure when they have nearly all been at home for 8 weeks therefore are very unlikely to have the virus. What useful information will this yield? I feel there will be a lot of rubbish covid research projects that have been rushed through the usual planning procedures. I would wait for the antibody blood test.

Mistigri · 14/05/2020 20:02

Ps and for the posters who say it’s important he can choose - what about understanding that this is a small inconvenient thing which he can do, which greatly benefits the world he lives in? Is that not also an important message?

It's possible to explain why the tests are being done and why they are important, but still ultimately give your child the right to refuse to undergo an invasive non-therapeutic medical examination.

And I'd sincerely hope that no health professional would be prepared to administer an invasive experimental procedure to a 10 year old without their assent.

acatcalledjohn · 14/05/2020 20:06

@LisaD76 Nothing like forcing down your child and traumatising them to satisfy your own agenda.

Honestly, people on MN get up in arms about giving a child a slap, but don't think twice about forcing a child to have something done to them against their will.

Merryweather80 · 14/05/2020 20:18

Oh for goodness sake it’s a two second swab. It doesn’t hurt. What will he be like if he ever needs a blood test? Or has an accident and needs surgery? Normalise things like this at a young age and it doesn’t become an issue. Has he not had vaccinations? Those are worse than a throat and nasal swab

TooOldForSims · 14/05/2020 20:20

@TheClootieDumplin

Sorry I don't understand your post. I'm autistic and have sensory issues.