Who takes priority?

[Festivemama]

I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and struggling with sciatica. Had a second trimester loss last year so coupled with COVID, I’m also struggling with anxiety when going out.

I’m on furlough and have been making a point of shielding, e.g. husband has been doing the shopping and I’m only leaving the house for a daily walk.

I had to go to the post office this morning to mail a cheque as my husband is back at work. The queue was outside and even though it was sunny, it started hailing so I was already a bit annoyed. Finally got towards the front of the queue (which was at the entrance to the post office) after about 10 mins and an elderly lady walked up and was trying to cut in front of me in line. I didn’t let her cut in because I was tired and already feeling like I wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible. Got loads of dirty looks from the employee once I got to the counter as they obviously knew her as a regular and the employee was making a point of shouting across me to chat with her and just ignored me aside from telling me the price.

Normally I would let an elderly person in front but just couldn’t be bothered today. Which made me think - who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly? Or am I just a grumpy tw*t?

I would have let elderly last go first.

Whoever is there first gets priority

In a run off between an unwell pregnant woman and an elderly person, the front of the queue wins - especially when that cheeky woman was trying to cut the queue. YANBU.

Well apparently key workers, like secretaries in the nhs.
You were at the front OP, allowing someone to cut is nice but not an obligation.

Unless there is an emergency the priority goes to whoever is at the front of the queue. It's nice to let an elderly or pregnant person cut in front you, but you don't have to.

The elderly can be entitled as fuck at times.
You were not being unreasonable when you had already stood and queued.

Agree, whoever is there first gets priority. It's always nice when people let you go in front of them but you shouldn't assume you can just push to the front, that's just rude.

The elderly woman should have asked if it was okay rather than just try to cut in. That would have given you the opportunity to say, "Sorry but I really need to be quick today." (Your medical reasons are no-one else's business).

The member of staff was most at fault for being rude to a customer by chatting to the woman when they were supposed to be talking to you.

Well I’m assuming they didn’t know about the sciatica or pregnancy so they just assumed you wouldn’t let an elderly woman cut in front.

Obviously they were in the wrong and no one is obliged to let anyone though but they judged on what it looked like.

YANBU. She can queue like everyone else has to.

Priority is whoever is in the queue first.

You were right - if I let every elderly person in front of me in the post office queue I’d be continuously moving to the back of the line and never get served!

Ignore the people giving dirty looks, they’re ridiculous.

Whoever is at the front gets priority. There is no need for an elderly person to assume they can cut in, but 20 weeks pregnant is not a priority either, probably nobody would be able to tell you were even pregnant at that stage, unlike if you were 30+ weeks.

who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly?

If you want to put one against the others then I would give priority to the elderly.

That's not the situation though. You had priority. Not because you are pregnant, because you were ahead of her in the queue.

FWIW I would have let her go in anyway because I don't really care about people going before me.

Priority is whoever is there first. Did she ask to go in front? The employee sounds like the woman who runs my local post office. Rude cow.

I asked if I could go in front of a woman in the supermarket the other day, I had one item and she had a trolley full. She thankfully let me.

How did she try to cut in? Did she say anything to you or just try to sidle into the queue?

You had no obligation to let her in the queue. If she had spoken to you and you replied with: ‘No sorry! I’m pregnant and in pain and I’ve already queued for ages.’ and they gave you dirty looks, I would definitely ignore them!

You’re right, I doubt anyone actually knew I was pregnant but it still just made me wonder. I felt bad after but also...I was there first! Would have let her in front in any other situation so hopefully karma balances out

Bet if a dc had tried to push in the cf would have complained.
They expect manners but don't have any themselves.
Ime..

nobody would be able to tell you were even pregnant at that stage, unlike if you were 30+ weeks.

I’m 21 weeks pregnant and you can most definitely tell I’m pregnant. People show at different times.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing she just walked up and stood right next to me and kept inching forward. If she had asked I probably would’ve relented anyway. The woman behind me ended up letting her cut in anyway.

Which made me think - who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly?

There’s no blanket rule about this. Plenty of pregnant women and elderly people are perfectly capable of queuing. Some young people who are neither elderly nor pregnant find it harder to stand for a long time. It’s about the individual circumstances.

Did she even ask you if she could cut in? If not that’s rude and presumptuous and that would have pissed me off- and I’m not pregnant. The post office worker was a rude fucker too.

I don't think anyone should just cut in, some people are so rude.

I would recomend though getting an account that allows you to scan in cheques using your phone. Halifax has one that takes 5 minutes to set up and avoids queues at the post office.

You can pay cheques in using the HSBC app too.

Yes to using a bank that lets you pay cheques in via app

I am with bank of Scotland and the cheque clears the next day.