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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who takes priority?

91 replies

Festivemama · 13/05/2020 11:00

I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and struggling with sciatica. Had a second trimester loss last year so coupled with COVID, I’m also struggling with anxiety when going out.

I’m on furlough and have been making a point of shielding, e.g. husband has been doing the shopping and I’m only leaving the house for a daily walk.

I had to go to the post office this morning to mail a cheque as my husband is back at work. The queue was outside and even though it was sunny, it started hailing so I was already a bit annoyed. Finally got towards the front of the queue (which was at the entrance to the post office) after about 10 mins and an elderly lady walked up and was trying to cut in front of me in line. I didn’t let her cut in because I was tired and already feeling like I wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible. Got loads of dirty looks from the employee once I got to the counter as they obviously knew her as a regular and the employee was making a point of shouting across me to chat with her and just ignored me aside from telling me the price.

Normally I would let an elderly person in front but just couldn’t be bothered today. Which made me think - who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly? Or am I just a grumpy tw*t?

OP posts:
NamesNamesSoManyNames · 13/05/2020 12:14

Nobody has priority for a post office queue.
It's the post office, not a bus seat.
You were at the front, you get to go first.

NamesNamesSoManyNames · 13/05/2020 12:14

(although in fairness, I DO think the elderly and pregnant should get some priority for a long supermarket queue- they are less able to stand for long than healthy younger people)

chinateapot · 13/05/2020 12:17

Front of the queue wins - so you.
I’m sorry you’re having such an anxious time and it must be really tough.
I have to say though you aren’t shielding - that has a very specific meaning currently. We are shielding my younger daughter. She has not left the house since March 16th other than for one hospital appointment with scan. If you’re leaving the house for a walk and prepared to go to the post office that is not shielding.

Wehttam · 13/05/2020 12:20

YANBU OP you had priority and I would have made a point to the cashier to focus on me and not another customer. But I’m just pedantic like that.

peperethecat · 13/05/2020 12:22

There was an elderly woman in the queue who was ranting and raving to anyone who would listen that the post office should be for the ELDERLY ONLY!!! And everyone else should wait til the end of the day to do their business

You could just as easily argue that the elderly should only be allowed to go to the Post Office at non peak times so that people who work during office hours can go when they are available. I would ban all over 65s from Post Offices, banks and pharmacies between 12 and 2:30pm.

And don't even get me started on when I used to go to my GP surgery which was drop in only, arriving 45 minutes before the doors opened in the hope of being seen quickly before work, to find a queue of pensioners outside. Stay home until 11am when people who work have been and gone, idiots.

avroroad · 13/05/2020 12:22

I’m on furlough and have been making a point of shielding

Making a point of shielding??

Sorry OP but are you in the shielding group or just choosing not to go out? If it's a choice then it's not relevant to your post. If you are shielding officially as per NHS then you should not be at the post office. I don't think using the term 'shielding' helps your case.

Babyroobs · 13/05/2020 12:23

I guess no-one would know you were pregnant or unwell if only 20 weeks unless you are obviously showing?

Oldbutstillgotit · 13/05/2020 12:24

I am - technically- elderly as I am 66 however I am in good health and very active so I would never expect to take priority over a pregnant woman . I really think it depends on the circumstances . I have a friend ( also 66) who is very frail and I would hope she would be shown consideration.

Nottherealslimshady · 13/05/2020 12:26

It's a queue, you get served in the order of arrival, that's the whole point. Entitled woman and bitchy staff.

beautifulxdisasters · 13/05/2020 12:30

I do think you were NBU. However as others have said you have not been "making a point of shielding" if you have been going for walks, let alone going to the PO. The two people I know who are shielding have not left their houses for nearly two months, as per medical advice.

SpilltheTea · 13/05/2020 12:30

Whoever is there first has priority. She didn't have the decency to ask, so she was being rude to assume she could go in front of you.

ViciousJackdaw · 13/05/2020 12:30

Let's remember that some people have hidden disabilities - you wouldn't know I had RA just by looking at me (unless you were a medic yourself). Having said that, I'd never expect to be allowed to jump the queue, even if I was in the worst pain. Sometimes we just have to wait for our turn, pregnant, elderly, disabled or in perfect health.

Hedgehog44 · 13/05/2020 12:33

What a cheeky cow! They do that on buses too. Makes me mad.

Butterflytown · 13/05/2020 12:33

She should at least have asked you but even then there’s no right for someone to cut in. I’d probably have let her but I don’t think you were wrong not to.

On a separate note, shielding is by definition not leaving the house at all, except for medical treatment. So if you’re going for a daily walk etc you’re not shielding. I’m being a bit pedantic but as someone who hadn’t left the house for 2 months (very vulnerable and advised to shield) I think it’s important people understand the difference. It’s really flipping hard to actually shield, especially with DC.

MorganKitten · 13/05/2020 12:40

I’m on furlough and have been making a point of shielding

You’re going for walks and tomthe post office, that’s not shielding. You’re doing the same as everyone else.

If she’d asked I’d have explained why I couldn’t let her cut in.

Haffdonga · 13/05/2020 12:40

the elderly can be entitled as fuck sometimes

and so can the pregnant.

(and so can some parents, and some child free, and some men and some women)

heartsonacake · 13/05/2020 12:46

YANBU. Nobody takes priority. It’s first come, first serve.

There’s a queue for a reason otherwise everyone and their dog has an exception.

CHIRIBAYA · 13/05/2020 12:46

This stereotype of the elderly being frail and helpless really has to be challenged; many are very robust and perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Queue jumping is bad manners whatever your age.

Haretodaygonetomorrow · 13/05/2020 12:47

Yanbu. It sounds like she didn’t even ask if you minded letting her go ahead?

Fwiw I’m young and look healthy but have tachycardia so standing still in one place makes me feel faint and really ill. I wouldn’t automatically let someone cut in ahead of me just because they’re elderly. Not knowing what health issues someone has applies to the young and the old.

BlueJava · 13/05/2020 12:54

Missing the point but why not pay for postage online and don't go to the Post Office? Then pop it in a box or drop the parcel off with a quick in/out.

NamesNamesSoManyNames · 13/05/2020 12:58

Missing the point but why not pay for postage online and don't go to the Post Office? Then pop it in a box or drop the parcel off with a quick in/out

Not everybody has a printer etc at home. And dropping a parcel off would still mean having to queue to get in anyway.

SporadicNamechange · 13/05/2020 13:00

I don't understand why this is even a question. It's a queue; there is absolutely no protocol for who has priority in skipping a queue because that's not how queues work.

The cashier was just rude.

If the elderly are worried about being more vulnerable to covid-19, then there's no reason to be going to the post office at all.

CockCarousel · 13/05/2020 13:00

You should have taken priority OP, as you were next in the queue. If she'd needed to go in front, how about asking instead of pushing in?

Similar happened to me too when I had terrible sciatica. I even had a walking aid. An elderly man pushed in and when I challenged him he threw his handful of avocados on the floor and stormed out.

funinthesun19 · 13/05/2020 13:03

You were there first. Age doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want and that includes pushing in front of people. So fucking rude!

Redskylark · 13/05/2020 13:04

I dont think anyone should be queue jumping

That being said I'm always a bit extra nice to pregnant women

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