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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who takes priority?

91 replies

Festivemama · 13/05/2020 11:00

I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and struggling with sciatica. Had a second trimester loss last year so coupled with COVID, I’m also struggling with anxiety when going out.

I’m on furlough and have been making a point of shielding, e.g. husband has been doing the shopping and I’m only leaving the house for a daily walk.

I had to go to the post office this morning to mail a cheque as my husband is back at work. The queue was outside and even though it was sunny, it started hailing so I was already a bit annoyed. Finally got towards the front of the queue (which was at the entrance to the post office) after about 10 mins and an elderly lady walked up and was trying to cut in front of me in line. I didn’t let her cut in because I was tired and already feeling like I wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible. Got loads of dirty looks from the employee once I got to the counter as they obviously knew her as a regular and the employee was making a point of shouting across me to chat with her and just ignored me aside from telling me the price.

Normally I would let an elderly person in front but just couldn’t be bothered today. Which made me think - who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly? Or am I just a grumpy tw*t?

OP posts:
x2boys · 13/05/2020 11:34

Quite Purple my perfectly healthy 78 yr old dad can and does queue ,I would find it difficult to queue if I had my severely autistic ten year old with me ( obviously I wouldn't at the moment ) .

dementedpixie · 13/05/2020 11:36

Only if you bank with HSBC! Dont think op said where she was posting the cheque to. You can often pay into various banks via the post office if you have a pre-printed paying in slip (often found in the back of your cheque book)

wishihadagoodone · 13/05/2020 11:38

I was in the queue for the post office a few years ago.
I was waiting to hand over letters for posting that had been "franked" (thought it would be a bit cheeky to skip the queue to hand them over!) Letter were for work and the post office was only a few doors down from my office so I went down just before lunch time so I could kill two birds with one stone and pick up some lunch on my way back.
There was an elderly woman in the queue who was ranting and raving to anyone who would listen that the post office should be for the ELDERLY ONLY!!! And everyone else should wait til the end of the day to do their business 🙄
This was the ONLY WAY she could access her money and she was disgusted that all these people were inconveniencing her by trying to use the post office at the same time as her!!!

The bloody cheek of us all!!!

Everyone happily ignored her and no one let the entitled woman skip.

TinselTortoise · 13/05/2020 11:45

Just let it go OP. I am disabled and am in constant pain. On the outside I look fine though. Standing in a queue is agony for me, and if I haven't got my walking stick that day I would probably look rude for not letting an elderly person go first. The other lady was rude and you did nothing wrong.

Original poster
Festivemama · 13/05/2020 11:45

Would love to use an app but it was a cheque issued from someone in the US so had to send it to a special banking address. Trust me, I try to avoid the post office as much as possible, even more so now!

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 13/05/2020 11:48

It's not even a question of pregnancy vs age. It's a queue and she tried to cut into it. She was wrong.

cheeseismydownfall · 13/05/2020 11:49

I think it depend on how elderly you mean by elderly!

Elderly - older person (70s?) who appears to be healty and mobile - YANBU

Elderly - much older person (late 80s onwards?) who clearly is slower on their feet, cannot stand fully upright, using mobility aid etc YAprobablyBU

People of any age may find queuing difficult (hidden disabilities, pregnancy, illness) and we should be mindful and considerate. But I see no reason why someone who is older but whose ability to queue is not significantly compromised should expect to cut in automatically.

Bowerbird5 · 13/05/2020 11:51

It depends on fitness I have a friend who is 86 and is going out early in the morning for his walk...6miles! Every morning and he is back by 8-8.30am. he would definitely say you should go first. If it was another friend who is 65 and has trouble standing for long periods I would say her but she would ask politely if you would mind and why. I would go to the back of the line as I am fit enough to wait although due to my asthma I am shielding as much as I can.

peperethecat · 13/05/2020 11:52

The post office is always full of old people. If you let them all go in front of you, you'll never get to the front. YANBU.

peperethecat · 13/05/2020 11:53

Also if you see someone who is obviously really struggling then yeah sure it's nice to let them in front of you. But some entitled old bat who's giving you the side eye for not letting her push in? Nah. Let her wait her turn.

Fuss · 13/05/2020 11:54

who takes priority? Pregnant or elderly?

There is only one way to decide,

FIGHT!

Grin
cstaff · 13/05/2020 11:54

She was being a CF and very presumptuous. Fuck that. I would have made a point not to let her in.

MrMeSeeks · 13/05/2020 11:54

I would not have let her skip either, she was rude Confused

pooopypants · 13/05/2020 11:54

She was cheeky and entitled. The only priority here is position in the queue.

Feet up and rest now!

Gamble66 · 13/05/2020 11:56

Actually in terms of vuberablity at the moment - elderly takes priority in terms of limiting Thier exposure

Original poster
Festivemama · 13/05/2020 11:56

@Fuss 😂 next time.

OP posts:
x2boys · 13/05/2020 12:02

No more than others with underlying health issues Gamble ,my mum does as she has certain conditions and has had the official shielding letter,but my dad just h as to take extra care as does my 45 yr old dh,who is diabetic.

GrumpyHoonMain · 13/05/2020 12:02

I think you should have asked your DP to bank the cheque for you. Waiting in the queue while in your second trimester (which is when the risk slowly starts increasing) isn’t something I would do.

Chloemol · 13/05/2020 12:04

NOone should cut in. We all have to queue to do anything now, if people keep cutting in you would be there all day

Mintjulia · 13/05/2020 12:08

Depends what you mean by elderly. 85 with a walking stick, I'd let her go first. But not 65 and clearly capable of standing for a few minutes.

damnthatanxiety · 13/05/2020 12:08

As is always being said, not all disabilities are visible.No one knows what other people are dealing with. Being old does not trump everything else

RainbowGlittersandSparkles · 13/05/2020 12:10

I would of let the old lady go but that’s just me.

RainbowGlittersandSparkles · 13/05/2020 12:11

Don’t think you were in the wrong either, I’m just a soft touch for old ppl and ppl with small children.

opticaldelusion · 13/05/2020 12:11

The day I discovered I could pay in cheques with my banking app probably rates as the best so far this year.

Maybelatte · 13/05/2020 12:12

Queue jumping shouldn’t be a thing, you were in the right.