Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have locked my OH out

131 replies

Moonandme111 · 12/05/2020 17:58

Getting so fed up with my OH disappearing to his friends house.
His friend is recently separated and his ex-wife has taken their 3 kids to her parents 2 hour drive away, he hasn't seen them in a good few months.
So I understand he is down, and my OH wants to be there for him, but it's just not on.
Texts on his phone from this friend 'if you're allowed out'... 'did you get in trouble' like they are kids... They are nearly 40!!

I'm 6 weeks pregnant, we have a toddler, not to mention lockdown!!

He reckons it's OK because his friend doesn't see anyone to catch anything from.
Again not the point.

So good luck with him getting back in the house tonight...
It's funny when his friends family was in tact, he was never 'allowed' out to see my OH.
Actually we rarely saw them, even tho they live at the other end of the village, it's not OK to treat me like a mug now his family isn't around!!

OP posts:
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 12/05/2020 18:29

@CountryCasual - with the second option, it wouldn't be "lock him out" - more probably a baying crowd shouting "divorce, divorce"

rabbitheadlights · 12/05/2020 18:29

Wow some of these responses are batshit crazy!!

I'd lock him out too!!

WhiteCat1704 · 12/05/2020 18:30

Why are you having another child with him if he already doesn't do anything with the first one?

Moonandme111 · 12/05/2020 18:30

@spillthetea
Yeah that's so funny. Imagine that!
Think he may just get a fine on top of being locked out!

OP posts:
NovemberRain2 · 12/05/2020 18:30

Agree with you OP. He doesn't get to break the rules while the rest of us suffer from not seeing our loved ones. He can facetime his mate over a beer in the evening if he needs perking up.

rabbitheadlights · 12/05/2020 18:31

@spilltheteaa or because he keeps flouncing lockdown rules and putting his family at risk!

SpillTheTeaa · 12/05/2020 18:32

Exactly! Might teach him a lesson ay!

Moonandme111 · 12/05/2020 18:32

Well you can all rest easy, banging on the window so he's been let in!!

He justifies it by that he isn't working but he looks after our toddler while I'm in work 8-2... That's a tough job he's got there, so he needs his time out.

OP posts:
rabbitheadlights · 12/05/2020 18:32

@whitecat1704 that's not really helpful.

Grandmi · 12/05/2020 18:32

He is putting your health ,your toddlers and your patients at risk . He most definitely should not be at his friends house ,whatever the reason. I have a colleague who’s son was out meeting friends during lockdown and my colleague was given a final warning for putting our patients at risk !! So yes definitely lock him out or get him to self isolate for two weeks.

pooopypants · 12/05/2020 18:32
  1. Why are you having another child him? If all of this annoys you SO much, why bring another life into what shows like an utter shitshow? I feel for your kids, personally.
  1. "Good luck getting back in". Hate to break it to you but he legally lives there. So more like "good luck explaining yourself to the police when he calls them". I sure as shit would. Unless the house is solely in your name, along with all the bills, he has every right to enter the property. The police will back him up on that.
ShallallalAa · 12/05/2020 18:33

Locking someone out of their own home
Is illegal and abusive and honesty you sound a bit off the wall.

Moonandme111 · 12/05/2020 18:33

@pooopypants
They gonna back him up for breaking lock down too??

OP posts:
SpillTheTeaa · 12/05/2020 18:34

8-2! Us other parents it's 24/7 pal. Didn't realise it was a part time position he was in.
You need a break OP. Let him do bedtime. Put your feet up Thanks

Lollypop701 · 12/05/2020 18:34

Whitecat has a point... plus he is telling you you can’t see your mum or tell her you are pregnant, so no support for you. Not even from him. Whilst he supports his friend, whom you can’t tell him not to see. Yes, lock the door

rabbitheadlights · 12/05/2020 18:34

@moonandme111 so sorry you are having to deal with all this on top of what must be a horrendous time at work. Wish i had something more constructive to say Flowers

MaxNormal · 12/05/2020 18:35

Have most of the posters forgotten we're still under lockdown? Or has Boris' crappy mixed message put paid to that?

iklboo · 12/05/2020 18:35

denying your kids access to their dad wow

Well he's hardly Mr Hands On now if he's pissing off to his mates for 4-5 hours every other day is he?

You know if a bloke came on posting his OH was pregnant, a nurse, looking after a toddler and was nagging him about going round to his mate's 'to do some gaming' he'd have his balls handed to him on a platter.

pooopypants · 12/05/2020 18:37

@rabbitheadlights it's a bloody valid question

Why have another child with someone who is selfish, lazy, has a blatant disregard for rules and who you seemingly dislike so much?

He already does fuck all, why put yourself through it all again?

Moonandme111 · 12/05/2020 18:39

Im sure Boris have confused a lot of you.
We are still in lockdown...
A week ago, if someone posted about their neighbour having friends round, or going out multiple times a day 'oh my god, not on, report them!!'

Boris has an announcement and now suddenly it's OK for my OH to go round his mates to play video games 3 - 4 times a week for hours at a time...
No words.

You'll all be shocked when there's a huge second wave for us Nhs nurses to deal with.

OP posts:
rabbitheadlights · 12/05/2020 18:39

@pooopypants the time for asking that question has passed, the OP is where she is, and asking that question now will not help the situation she is in.

Truthpact · 12/05/2020 18:41

How on earth can people think you are wrong op? Confused

Hell yeah lock the twat out. He finds it OK to do the following:

Abandon his partner and child to go play games
Leave his pregnant partner alone to deal with everything after she's worked shifts in a hospital
Potentially give his family a life threatening disease from his friend
Potentially give his friend a life threatening disease from his family

How in any way is any of that OK?

If he likes his friend so much, he can live there. Have all the fun you want. Be a shit dad and partner.

Yes he can support his friend, over the phone. It's lockdown for a reason.

But guess we now know which people on here have been visiting others.

SpillTheTeaa · 12/05/2020 18:41

It's none of your business poopy OP posted about locking him out. She didn't ask to be grilled on her life choices.
Get over yourself... Hmm

Tachograph · 12/05/2020 18:41

I've been working so not yet seen update but thought you were allowed to meet up with one person from outside house? For sure, if tables were turned the man would be called abusive on here. He's entitled to break in to his own house I'd have thought. I would be.

adelaya · 12/05/2020 18:41

I agree with you but you can’t legally lock someone out of their house.