Please help me see sense. I'm sorry if this is long.
Things have been crap for a couple of weeks now.
Dh has always been awful with money. It's always been me who deals with finances - I'm sensible and probably over cautious with money. Also dh used to have an extremely bad gambling habit.
He works (extremely hard as he tells me everyday) and I stay at home. I have 2 dcs from previous relationship and 1dc to him. My eldest dc is autistic which means I don't work though I do get a small income from carers allowance and also disability living allowance for my child.
As I said, dh has always been crap. For the past 4 years, I've dealt with all the finances and it's worked fine.
Unfortunately we've had a couple of issues with cars in the last couple of years, we've just had no luck which has led to my mum taking out 2 seperate loans for us. Which she was fine with and we pay it back regularly and always on time.
Dhs credit has always been bad but now it's getting better and is in the 'fair' category. Mine is excellent but due to being a carer, I can't get any loans or anything on credit.
We've also been saving up for a mortgage and have been doing so well. That and dhs credit score moving upwards, we are perfectly on track to buy our house in 2/3 years - we rent off a friend who is wanting to sell and is willing to wait until we've saved up a deposit.
Anyway, dh had an idea that we should take out another loan to get another car. I've said it's not the best idea considering we still owe my mum 2 seperate loans and also it wouldn't look good for a mortgage....and why damage your credit score now when it's just going up by applying for another loan?
Dh also wants to lend a family member on his side (who is also terrible with money) £4K. I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that. We have already lent him money a lot in the past and 4K is too much.
By me saying no to both these ideas, it's caused dh to get extremely angry and tonight has been awful. I haven't helped things by bringing up my mental health - I'm at home all day with 3dcs and struggling. He told me I was being stupid and I sound ridiculous.
It's resulted in me ringing my mum and asking if I could go stay with her which she said yes too.
Firstly he said he didn't care if we left.
Then he said because of lockdown, if we left then we wouldn't be able to come back to the house until this is over.
Then he told us to get out, he wanted us gone.
Then he refused to let me leave. I said I'd stay as I was too scared to get the kids from upstairs to the car with him in the mood he was. I asked him to stay in the kitchen while I got them to the car but he just started shouting at me, I felt scared.
He told me he was going to go. He hasn't, he's here and sleeping on the sofa.
I've been in touch with my mum who knows exactly what's going on. She's been great but is worried for me.
I'm scared for tomorrow, he will be going to work so that gives me chance to get my stuff and go but he will be so angry. And for some stupid reason....I don't want to lose him.