AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

OP you need to have a look up north! It's completely different. I love London to visit, would not want to live there! It's not all flat caps and whippets... Lots of smaller, interesting cities, beautiful scenery, good employment in many places, much better cost of living.

Jacinda Ardern has done very well lately. More people know her name than belies the size of the country I reckon.

But not sure why London is ‘a cancer’ at the expensive of the rest of the country. Doesn’t money flow outwards from the city? Question

Housing stock, new builds aside, is poor quality and not fit for purpose.

This also is not true.

you can get to fuck with your last comment!!! NZ and Australia have some of the oldest and richest cultural histories in the world. It's just not white history. It was the white people who turned up and fucked everything.

Fuck you and your imperialist attitude.

I don't agree with this attitude. But whys its not OK? That's a serious question.

Why is it OK to make constant comments about how shit UK is, England especially but when someone says something about another country its jumped upon.

I just can't be arsed with the double standards.

When people move to London they often make compromises to get better access to jobs, better pay, excitement etc. When they get fed up with their own personal compromise it seems they blame the place or the people or it not being like somewhere else. It's the modern version of the whinging Pom only now you can communicate much better with your home country and family and can usually go back, permanently or temporarily.
The UK is full of stunning places and lovely people and is well situated to find the same in other countries. London is a brilliant place to grow up and to live and is properly (not newly) really home to some of us. We have family nearby, nice friends, great community and peaceful lives. It is possible, I'm fed up reading all the assumptions that living in London is basically unpleasant, it really isn't

OP, I'm with you. I have relatives in NZ and I'm pretty envious of them. I've visited a couple of times, and quite honestly would have just stayed there if I could have. The only thing stopping me was my difficult health problems, which are all dealt with by the NHS very well, and I honestly had no idea how I'd manage in NZ. I don't think they'd have had me, anyway, I simply didn't get enough points.

Maori history is really interesting, and is now being carefully preserved, though I do know there are problems. Mind you, white people really did behave appallingly and have a long way to go in sorting out the mess they made of what was a decently functioning country before they arrived.

Go back. It's a lovely lovely country, currently with a fabulous Prime Minister, and a great attitude to the environment and conservation.

We moved out of London to the countryside and are much happier! Love it here but I don’t like brexit mentality or general selfishness of half the population

One does not realise what one has often - until one loses it.

I lived in Mexico for a while and people were CONSTANTLY complaining about the state of the country and talking about how badly they want to leave. But if I had made a similar criticism, you can bet they'd get offended and tell me off!

It's like insulting family. You can do it, but nobody else can. Even if what they say is true!

In other words, this thread went exactly as it was always going to, OP. If you've lived in more than one country, you should've known that by now!

Also agree with previous poster that parts of London are lovely to live in

Always lived in the uk
Don’t have a problem with it
I’m On minimum wage DH 25k
We own outright 3/4 bed detached, don’t feel the overcrowding, never circled a supermarket car park! Maybe you need to try a different area of the uk

Very true Tara.

TwelveMonkeys, oh were did you live? We were in DF for quite a few years

It was great, but I really love South of England now

But yes, it is crowded and expensive

But lovely

Hadenoughfornow

I don't agree with this attitude. But whys its not OK?

Why is it not OK to think that the history of a country begins when white people arrive there?
Why is it not OK to believe that NZ has "no history" because the British colonised it relatively recently?
Are you serious?

I think a lot of your qualms come from the lifestyle you've found yourself in, not the country. Sounds like you're surrounded in circles of people who like to show off and you live in a busy town/city. None of what you've said I can relate too. Having said said that I know nothing about living in NZ except that it looks breathtakingly beautiful. Is life better over there? That's up to you.

To all those telling the OP to go home, move etc, why don't you read her post properly before jumping in with your opinions:

I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

To all the people quoting Auckland and its problems: newsflash - there is a lot of NZ outside of Auckland. It's akin to basing all of England on London.

Well said @catsjammies

I totally and utterly agree with you op. I live in the south east which is ridiculously competitive. Wish I could move away but have so many family ties. England is just as you describe..

Have you only ever lived in the same area in the UK??

Auld no. I respect all countries.

But all I have seen on here is constant digs at Brits and English. (I'm not even English).

From people saying the UK is unfriendly and they moved back to their country and its basically utopia, to a Scot saying everyone should be ashamed to be English).

People show so much ignorance to UK. Why is that OK?

That is my point. Possibly badly made. But I'm pig sick of it.

To all those telling the OP to go home, move etc, why don't you read her post properly before jumping in with your opinions

And also, OP has the perfect right to moan about where she lives. Doesn't always mean it's practical to move or that she even wants to. And people tout that line out like it's easy to move internationality. It's not, and wasn't made any easier by Brexit either.

I was born in the uk and have lived here all my life. I have never felt as though I’ve belonged here. I don’t ‘feel’ British and as part of a minority group have felt less accepted since Brexit. I feel badly let down by the government and am trapped both by life circumstances and feeling trapped in poverty. I will be stuck in substandard rented property for the rest of my life. I’m aware of growing resentment against my ethnic group and feel dispossessed and as if more and more has been taken away from me. I have family in Germany and I would love to move there but I can’t afford the healthcare. No country is perfect but some places feel more suited to us than others and YANBU to feel as you do. I’m tired and worn down by so much and everything feels a fight. Public services have been run into the ground and personally I feel done in.

The issue is not England. The issue is where you are living and the people you associate with

But not sure why London is ‘a cancer’ at the expensive of the rest of the country. Doesn’t money flow outwards from the city? Question

Why do you think foreign businesses and investors don't want to establish businesses in Birmingham or Manchester? Because more money is spent on London infrastructure than anywhere else. No question of expanding Birmingham airport, rather build a third runway at Heathrow. And so on and so forth.

This is an interesting read.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-248d9ac7-9784-4769-936a-8d3b435857a8

Just the government... that's enough. The lies. The media. The lies. Again.