To ask if you're a long time married do you spend time with your spouse?

[Orangesandbananas]

My DH and I have been together 20 years. Two teen DC.

In the evenings we spend time in separate rooms on our laptops.

What does everyone else do? I mean couples together 15 years plus, after the honeymoon years are well behind you.

Do any couples still talk or spend time together?!

If you watch TV together how does it work if you both like different things?

Together 31 years, married 24.
Spend time together in the evening- but generally separate in the day time, either work or hobbies. Very separate interests.
Think you need a mixture of time together and apart - so long as you’re both happy it’s fine.

19 years. We often sit in separate rooms of an evening - he sits in the living room and I sit in the bedroom on my iPad - as I’m not too bothered about tv and don’t mind him watching his shows, however I find the noise in the background isn’t relaxing and prefer to be in a quiet room.
However we do spend time together every day, at the moment we go on long walks/runs together (during lockdown I mean) and at the weekends we will make the effort to choose a film to watch together. We always eat meals as a family and during normal times (pre-covid!) went out a lot at weekends as a family.
Today he was tinkering with the bikes in the garden so I went and sat out with him.

We do enjoy being together but also like our own space sometimes. I think being in separate rooms for a bit of an evening is fine so long as you do actually spend a decent amount of time together, and communicate. If you say you feel lonely though it’s obviously not working for you. Maybe you should make one or two nights a week ‘couple time’? Take turns choosing a movie to watch and have popcorn etc. Let the dc’s put the Xbox in their rooms on that night, it won’t do any harm. It’s important to have time alone as a couple no matter how long you’ve been together, otherwise you do start to feel detached from one another.

Together 18 years. In the evening we sit on the same room and watch tv, read, chat or go online. We will pick something to watch that we both want to watch, unless there's something that one is keen to see. In that case the other will just watch anyway, read, or go and do something else.

When not in the midst of a pandemic we go out about once every 2 months. Usually a meal and cinema, sometimes a show or concert.

I would find too much togetherness suffocating.

By 8pm I'm glad to see the back of him. Especially during lockdown, we're together ALL the sodding time

We are very close, together over 30 years, but both like our own space and independence. We like different TV shows so are often in different rooms in the evenings. We do make a point of sitting down together and having a good chat every day, though, or we'll cook together or do jigsaws or something, but we're not in each other's pockets all the time. Neither of us would like that.

We’ve been together 15 years and eat dinner as a family, clean up together. Often go on a family walk with the children (preteen) or sometimes just the two of us. Once the kids are in bed we watch t.v or a movie and I read the paper and we chat. Always in the same room. We never really sit apart but I often go up to bed 1/2 hour earlier as I like to read before I sleep and he doesn’t. Neither of us really love playing games but we have been playing a few with the kids since lock down started.

Married 20 years
In normal times we are both out a lot but if we are both in we spend the evening together

Most evenings we eat,watch tv and chat. Nothing exciting but I love his company. Together since I was 18. Of course there’s been crap times over the years but we’ve got through them and I love him now more than ever.

30-odd years together. We spend most evenings together and enjoy each other company very much.
I love him but I also really like him.

Married for 26 years, together for 32 years, we spend the vast majority of our time together, DH works from home, I have a disability for he is always on hand to help. We get on really well, sense sense of humour, watch tv, sit in the garden, talk about everything under the sun. My best friend.

Together 24 years, married for 12. Usually we watch tv together in the evening, but have a few evenings apart in the week as one of us will go out to meet friends. We realised that after 6 weeks of lockdown we had got into a habit of watching tv together every night so we took a break - he wrote, I read. Felt much better for it.
We bicker sometimes but do like each other’s company - I think that’s important.

Married 36 years. My husband goes in his laptop in the morning, reads news, and speaks or texts his family abroad. We spend time together (hours) in the evening.

It really doesn't matter what other couples do. If it works for you and you're both happy that's all that matters

We've lived together 26 years (not married) and have 2 teen DSs.We spend a lot of time together. We often both read, watch TV together, watch a film, one of us will cook with the other there. We'll discuss politics, work, something on TV, views on anything. Sometimes (not often) we enjoy a board game. We have a large open living area/diner/kitchen so whilst we may do our own thing we are usually together.

We eat together, We work on our laptops in the same room. We don’t like the same TV programmes or films, so rarely watch TV together. If I’m honest, I prefer my home when he isn’t in it. I don’t really like him as a person any more, or fancy him. We are only together for my daughter and because we like where we live. If my daughter were older and I were wealthier, I’d leave tomorrow. We’ve been together 28 years, so I feel sad that such a large part of my life has come to this. Wow, that was a real outpouring and probably the first time I’ve been honest with myself.

We have been married a long time, and spend most evenings watching TV together .However surely if you are happy as you are thats all that matters? If not why not make a couple of evenings as "Film Nights" or something like that .Sometimes with Teenagers you can be so busy ferrying them around and so on, you can lose sight of each other .

OrangesandBananas That seems quite sad to me .I know you say you dont want Teens in their bedrooms ,but you need to reclaim your living space! We have a dining room with TV/Xbox etc in that the kids use .We have the lounge though ! Can you not say to DH that you want some time together ?Maybe he feels the same way!If you used to go to pubs and Restaurants, maybe you could do that after lockdown finishes .Evenings are nice for a walk together as well .If more outdoor exercise is permitted maybe try that out ? You dont want to grow apart!

DH in one room, me in the tv room.
His geeky hobby youtube stuff is not in the least interesting to me.
We do get together for meals.

We are always together in the evenings. We usually watch something together. If he wants to watch something else I will read my book or do get on with a crochet project but still sit and chat in the room.

Married 15 years together 25.

Spend most non job/non child time together.

TV, movies, talking

We were saying yesterday that lockdown has been a really good way to spend more time together as a, family and a couple.

Bit of both. There's certain things we watch on tv together, others we watch separately. We play cards occasionally, or sit in the same room and read. In normal times we go for evening walks or to the pub.

We've been married 20 years. We come in from work and chat, have dinner with the kids. After that I work for another 2 to 3 hours so we've ended up spending evenings separately because he is free to relax. I'd like more together time, we get on well.

Married 23 years. In normal times DH gets in from work about 7pm. I cook dinner (because I wfh and get started on it before DH gets home) and DH sits in kitchen and we chat about our days over a glass of wine. Usually sit down to dinner 8ish then we'll watch some tv. DH does the cooking at the weekend, or we do it together and make something a bit more complicated.

One of the compensations of lockdown Is our daily walk - we're lucky enough to be out in the country within 5 minutes of home, and walking and chatting for an hour in lovely surroundings has been a joy.

25 years. We eat dinner together, then usually watch TV together for about an hour or two and then have time alone on our laptops. We have very different sleep patterns too.

When lockdown is over we'll be out and about together a bit more - we go to theatre and music gigs together quite often and we have separate hobbies that take us out in the evenings too.