To ask if you're a long time married do you spend time with your spouse?

[Orangesandbananas]

My DH and I have been together 20 years. Two teen DC.

In the evenings we spend time in separate rooms on our laptops.

What does everyone else do? I mean couples together 15 years plus, after the honeymoon years are well behind you.

Do any couples still talk or spend time together?!

If you watch TV together how does it work if you both like different things?

Also together 20 years with 2 teen dc.

When we were first living together I was studying and got into the habit of coming in from work then doing college work 7 - 9. At 9pm we'd both stop what we were doing and watch TV together.

We're still in that habit now. If he's still gaming at 9.03 I'm tapping his shoulder and asking him when he'll be finished

We usually have a series on the go that we're watching together, but will watch/do our own thing earlier in the evening.

We always spend 9-10.30pm together. We watch tv usually. Don't find it difficult as we like same things really.

Not as long as some posters but DH and I have been together for 18 years, married for 13. We don’t spend evenings together (our kids are 8 and 3) every day. Sometimes we might watch a movie, have a chat etc. But we both need our own headspace. Companionable silence is a big thing in our house.

We also have UTTERLY different movie/TV tastes. The other day DH logged into Netflix on my iPad and didn’t log out. I was entirely wtf. Whole categories on Netflix I didn’t know existed! We are both pretty happy- we have a decent sex life, DH is a good husband, we have common interests but in the evening we don’t feel the need to do stuff together.
(Things we like doing together: cooking, travelling, watching and playing sport...).

It's like an unspoken rule really. 9pm we should be showered and on sofa in night-clothes with the remote and a glass of sth, soft or otherwise.

It's not rip roaring excited but it does mean we do sth together every day.

Before lockdown we would often both be commuting in our respective cars. So we had a thing where we'd speak on the phone while driving each morning like 8.45-9.15 or something. I miss that actually !

Interesting. I'm ok sometimes with separate evenings, but overall I'm feeling quite lonely and sad about it.

It's kind of evolved into this - the kids use our living room for gaming or watching youtube in the evenings, and as they've got older they talk loudly to their friends, and now stay up as late as us so there's nowhere for DH and I to relax.

I didn't want to put their gaming stuff in bedrooms cause I don't want them to game all night long, plus I like to be able to check they're not watching inappropriate stuff etc.

DH sits in his study and I sit in our bedroom. Even if we bought a bigger house I think he's used to watching sport or sports interviews on his own now. When we were first together we'd watch TV or films sometimes, go out to gigs and restaurants a lot. He now doesn't like watching TV.

We've been together 18 yrs, married 14 years, two primary DCs.

I am worried what will happen once the kids are older and are downstairs after 9pm!

Maybe we will have to have a thing where they're in bedrooms after that time.

We've been together about 40 years, married for 34.

We do stuff together for part of most days - in normal times going to nice places, theatre, a lot of walking (obviously just doing the latter now). We usually watch something together in the evening, I like most of the things DH does. We don't watch some programs I would enjoy because he can't abide canned laughter - normally he'd be out on average one night a week.

We have a good balance of together and separate time, I think - both are essential!- separate bedrooms for sleeping of course.

I have been married 24 years.

My husband has worked from home for the past decade and I've been at home too. We do spend an extraordinary amount of time together. I am happy to say that we haven't really got bored of each other and we are quite happy to be in each other's company.

We go out for walks, we listen to music together at home, we'll have a few drinks and get silly and dance around the living room, we'll watch television together because we like documentaries. It gives us something to talk about afterwards. He loves watching regular tv programs and I am not that keen, only because it makes me sleepy, but I'll read on my iPad on the couch with him. We'll do some puzzles together or he will go on the PlayStation, I'll go on the MN or FB for an hour. Right now, we are both doing online courses to keep us occupied and it's interesting to chat about what we are learning. Before CV, we would go out to dinner, visit a museum in our city, window shop at the mall, go to listen to live music on the lawn of one of our city parks, go for a late night drink or a dessert at a bar/ restaurant or just a drive for the sake of it. We also love to have a cook out most evenings and just sit outside and enjoy a cool drink in the summer or fire up the chiminea in the winter and drink a warm drink.

Reading that back it all sounds really dull but it's quite pleasant.

Married for 35 years and spend all evenings together.

We tend to eat together at about 8pm and watch some tv or a film. We mostly like similar things - films, sci fi, art programmes, Bake Off, Sewing Bee, Pottery Throwdown.

The only difference between us is that I never fall asleep on the sofa and my husband always does, but his work is very mentally challenging and he can't seem to keep awake, unless it's something very compelling. He doesn't sleep all evening though. It's usually just before bedtime.

It's different during the day though. We have different interests and can spend large parts of the day apart. We are very good at giving each other space in the same house. He is pretty much the only person that I can tolerate for days at a time. Secret of a long, happy marriage maybe?

28 years together. Have 3 dc, one at home still in his 20s.

We used to do theatres and we like walks and going to picturesque towns for a mooch.

We do look at screens but I feel content in his company most of the time

Together 14yrs married 9yrs, we have a 1yr old and a 4yr old. We never sit in separate rooms, we may mess about on the Internet separately but generally watch something. We grab any chance we can to go out together too.

I love being with my husband even when we are doing our own thing reading or on our laptops or whatever. We sometimes go into separate rooms and that's fine too.

We're the same with teens taking over the living room. We watch TV in our bedroom. We're lucky to have another room for the computers where any gaming takes place so the dc don't have gaming stuff in their rooms.

I am worried what will happen once the kids are older and are downstairs after 9pm!

For quite a few years before DD went to uni we'd often all watch something together. It started with Dr Who, in the David Tennant era and progressed to Star Trek ... all of it... that took a while!

Right now we have just watched an episode of something we both like and while I watch Emmerdake and Corrie dh is in the next room playing on the Xbox. I can hear him and talk to him if I want to.

Dh is back at work so he works in the lounge and I pop my head in now and then while I do what I need to and the kids study.

We sometimes walk the dog together after tea but on a weekend we always go together in the morning.

Earlier he was doing DIY while I made soup and mince pies then he was with ds while I made tea.

Some nights we sit together all night after tea, some nights he has an hour at the computer while I watch something else.

Together 24 years.

I should probably add that, although we watch tv together we usually end up talking about something or other and miss large parts of what is happening on the screen, so we aren't sitting glued to the goggle box. It's also our time to catch up.

Lockdown is working well for us and I could do this for much longer.

I'm the same OP. Married 20 years. Kids are 7 and 3. We havent really sat together since we had kids. He doesnt like watching tv anymore. All the programmes we used to watch together I watch on my own now. He plays on his computer or exercises.

We have grown apart though. If i had the money and wasnt worried about how we would share the kids we wouldnt be together. I've felt lonely for so long and realised the only thing he brings to me is money. I dont feel like I want to sit with him anymore. I have changed alot since having kids I know and he hasn't. Hes not going to change and I'm not prepared to make all the effort still so I've given up and it's been the death of our relationship. I still love him but love is not enough.

Together 18 years and married for 15. We spend most evenings together. Often spend bits of the day doing separate stuff in separate rooms, but evenings we'll sit and eat together, watch TV and do what we're doing now - he's mooching his phone, I'm MNing. Both of us half watching a new series and occasionally sharing stuff - funny memes, twitter rants, and trying to work out what X actor has been in when their face pops up on the TV.

We have been together 13 years. We always sit in the same room but we might be doing different things e.g. phone, laptop. We watch things we both like.

My other half (not married) of 20 odd years sits and watches tv in the living room. I lie on the bed in the bedroom. Would dearly love to move out completely but can not afford it. Still have to share a, thankgod, massive bed with him

17 years, together for 20. We are like repelling magnets. My husband actively avoids me and will spend all his time gaming on his computer or lying in bed on his phone. We can barely speak without his finding some sort of fault. And yet he doesn’t want a divorce.

21 years married. My DH has been off this week and we’ve spent much of the days together then every evening snuggled together watching films. If he’s not working, we spend every evening together.

We’ve been together 42 years and watch Tv together in the evenings cuddled up on the sofa, he then falls asleep on me and I watch whatever I like.

Been together for 32 years and spend the evenings doing some things together (walk after dinner eg) and some things separately. He and dd love Star Trek, doctor who etc and I prefer murder/mystery type tv. I like to cook and dh chats to me in the kitchen, all about balance really.