To spend most of the day in my room with SC are here?

[AttaHugh]

So on the odd day where both parents are working, my step children have been staying with me. Not a problem, we get on really well.

As it's only the odd day here and there I'm not doing schoolwork with them so our usual routine is get up, breakfast, get dressed, go for a walk for around an hour and a half, come home and I'll tidy up for a bit and then make lunch.

Once lunch is done I usually then spend the rest of the day in my room reading or watching TV whilst they play on their games downstairs. Their room is very small so I just leave them to it in the living room.

I'm not really into making up crafts and baking and stressing out trying to think of things for them to do all day so as it's only the odd day, I usually let them play their games until their dad gets home and we'll do something all together then. I know the rest of the time they are doing schoolwork/crafts etc.. with their mum in the week.

AIBU to leave them to it and do my own thing upstairs for the afternoon?

Title should obviously say when SC are here.

Ps. When it's a weekend/we are all together I'm always downstairs with them and their dad. I'm purely talking about during lockdown on the odd day they are with me and not their parents.

Totally depends how old they are but I think YA probably BU unless they're both 10 or older

Sorry you haven't actually said there are 2 of them I just assumed when I said "both"

Sounds ok to me.

How old are they, what would you do if they were your children?

9 and 11. They aren't little kids. Should have specified sorry. I obviously wouldn't leave small children alone downstairs all afternoon!

They always know where I am and they can shout me if they need anything. Just thought they seem happy enough doing their own thing whilst I read or whatever.

I struggle to do things like that in the same room as they are often on headsets talking to friends so I can't watch any TV/read down there.

Can’t you read in the same room? If I thought someone was avoiding spending time in the same room as me I’d assume they didn’t like me.

If theyre teens then yeah that's fine technically, but a bit of a dick move. If they're 12 or younger then it's not OK, they need input and supervision.

Either way, you'll be making them feel like you don't want to spend time with them, which is shitty. If it's just the odd day, suck it up and interact.

Depends on their ages, is your door open so you are not cutting yourself off completely? Ds is 8 and I will go read on my bed and stuff now if he’s busy downstairs on a game.

Is this just because of lockdown?

Where would they normally go when Parents are both working? School, then wraparound care?

I bet they love it. You don't have to spend all day entertaining children.

I actually really don't think that's the case Also. We spend a lot of time together and interact a lot. I'm fairly confident that I have a really good relationship with them and I definitely don't think they believe I don't like them because I leave them to game and read in my room.

I could understand why it may seem that way to someone on the outside I guess but I really don't think the kids feel that way from the way our relationship is.

Yes it's just during lockdown. All of us usually work but I've now been furloughed and as they aren't in school I've just been covering the odd day that DH or his ex can't. I'd say probably a maximum of one maybe two days a week (we have them more than that but DH is here those days).

So why ask?

They probably really like being able to interact with their friends without you hovering and sticking your nose in.

It sounds like you get together time and alone time. That sounds fine to me, kids need both. They are old enough not to need input all day long. At their age I was off playing for lots of the time, not in the same room as my parents.

And yes my door is open and I always say 'im just going reading for a little bit, shout me if you need anything' or whatever.

I usually just get a groan or a mumble in response as they are concentrating too much on their games haha.

If you're confident its OK, why are you asking?

I'm only disagreeing with the idea that the kids think I don't like them because of it. Because I genuinely don't believe that to be the case.

They are old enough to entertain themselves and they can shout you if they need you.

I would think they like you very much for letting them game with their friends.

YANBU but why have you posted this? Has someone in real life told you you are being unreasonable or are you feeling guilty?

Why is it that if an OP defends themselves against anything someone says they get a load of 'why even post then?'.

Obviously OP asked for opinions but if someone says something that she doesn't think is correct i.e. the children will think you don't like them, she's allowed to say she doesn't think thats true. Considering she's the one who knows the children and their relationship irl.

I think it's fine btw.

Sounds fine to me, I leave my 3 ages 11, 7 and 7 on their tablets in a different room as they are all shouting at each other (playing the same game) and are happy without me there.