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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Balls over fence. Lots and lots of them.

125 replies

Ballhater · 07/05/2020 11:52

Perhaps more of a WWYD?

NDNs are really nice but have 3 teenage kids who play football in the garden every day. In fact that’s all they do in the garden. They have a full size goal at the end of the garden which spans the whole width.

We get a lot of balls over the fence. One or two a day at least. The record I think was 7 in a day.

This is really starting to piss me off. Especially as I have two little kids who might get hit by a ball. Also we have plans for that end of the garden and I don’t want any plants or garden features to get squashed.

We’ve tried asking them to be more careful when my kids are playing out. Not really had much impact (2 balls came over yesterday).

My DH is pretty relaxed about it all and kicks balls back the same day or the next day.

We’re on good terms with our neighbours and I don’t want to change that.

I’m thinking of a fence topper? We could grow things up it which would be nice. But not sure if that would have much impact as I don’t think they can be that tall.

What is reasonable to do here??

I haven’t even got into the constant fucking thud thud bang clash of the bloody balls against the fence. We own the fence by the way.

OP posts:

Herpesfreesince03 · 07/05/2020 11:54

I’d just stop returning them op. You’ve got a good reason to start now. If they knock and ask for them back, just tell them you’re not touching them due to risk of Covid

sleepismysuperpower1 · 07/05/2020 11:56

could you get something like this on your side, or ask them to put it up on their side? it would stop the balls coming over due to the curve at the top

Seeline · 07/05/2020 11:56

Presumably it's worse at the moment as the kids can't go anywhere else?

fences, including trellis on top cannot be more than 2m in height without planning permission. Your best bet would be tall trees or shrubs along the boundary, but obviously that would take time.

TBH, I don't think a couple of balls a day is too bad. At least they have several so don't keep asking for the 1 ball back everytime it comes over.

GeriGeranium · 07/05/2020 12:08

I’d grow some really big hedges tbh.
You’ve asked them to be more careful, but they’re teenagers stuck at home so they’re not likely to be.

copycopypaste · 07/05/2020 12:08

You could put some netting up in posts, that way you don't get the 'thud' if a ball hitting the fence. Or just keep the footballs

I have to say that I'd just kick them back across. Life is too short to get so pissed of about this.

OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 07/05/2020 12:39

I'd ask them to stop and then tell them if they continue you would pop them. They will soon stop if they have to buy new balls every time. But maybe phrase it in a polite way to the mum first. Hi your teenagers keep kicking the ball over. I'm a little worried it may hit the DCs or damage the plants we want to put in. I've asked a number of times but it still keeps happening. I'm really sorry but I wont be returning the balls in future. My kids can play with them or I can return them let down.

user200000000 · 07/05/2020 13:07

Don't pop them ffs. I know it's annoying but it's hardly their fault they can't go for a kick a bout with their mates on the park.

Just chuck the balls back. It's not a big deal really, is it?

Floralnomad · 07/05/2020 13:12

Are they lightweight balls or ‘proper’ footballs , the former being less of an issue if the bounce into small people / plants / animals . I’d go with talking to the parent who can then ask them to be more careful and in the meantime only throw back every other day or at your convenience . I’d also mention about them constantly hitting the fence and risk of damage etc . I love these threads and people say ‘what’s the harm’ as they are obviously not people who’ve had to live next door to a ball banging a fence for 6+ hours per day as it really wears you down .

SharonasCorona · 07/05/2020 13:14

YANBU, they're taking the piss.

We've had 2 balls in our garden for weeks now, our neighbours are too to ask for them back and we don't know which neighbour lobbed them over so can't throw it back.

If they had to wait a few days for their balls they may change their tune.

SharonasCorona · 07/05/2020 13:14

*too nice

heartsonacake · 07/05/2020 13:16

Refuse to return them and pop them. They’ll either learn or run out of money for new balls.

SecondStarFromTheRight · 07/05/2020 13:17

Get a giant net up on their side (like a badminton net). Yes it might break the council rules but the council will only know about it if one of you reports it which is unlikely considering the circumstances.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 13:17

We're in lockdown, give them a break. And get that netting.

Windyatthebeach · 07/05/2020 13:18

Offer to return once a week. They may be more careful then..

Mkh873w · 07/05/2020 13:19

Meanwhile, back in the real world, where neighbours don’t deliberately act like dickheads, just throw them back. One day you will have teenagers and hopefully they won’t have to live through a lockdown!

SeasonFinale · 07/05/2020 13:20

Give them a break. They can't go out at the moment. If there are 3 of them then twice a day is not that bad really.

MelonsMcGee · 07/05/2020 13:20

Ball poppers are arse holes!! Don't be such dicks!!

Just get a trellis OP or some sweet pea sticks

Mkh873w · 07/05/2020 13:20

Heartsonacake have you ever read “How yo win friends and influence people”?
No. I guessed not.

HildaSnibbs · 07/05/2020 13:22

The main issue is the risk of a full size football kicked hard hitting one of your kids - that's what would worry me. Our neighbours have a similar set up with a full size goal at the bottom of their garden but they also have a huge net strung up between two trees that is higher and wider than the goal, so although we get the occasional ball that manages to get over, it's very rare. I'd discuss with your neighbours in terms of your concern about a ball hitting a child and suggest a similar set up?

Farheatarse · 07/05/2020 13:24

The thud of the balls on the fence drives me insane.. something about that sound goes right through me.

I have similar football loving neighbours. I stopped throwing the balls back a while ago. I will hand them back when asked, either over the fence or if they knock at the door, but i get a little peace during the time it takes and that respite from the banging is much needed.

alienstar · 07/05/2020 13:26

Just suck it up until the lockdown is over. They will be back at the park soon enough and then. Or just limit returning to one a day

KKSlider · 07/05/2020 13:28

Look into increasing the height of your fence or planting taller plants along it. In the meantime continue to return the balls but they have to come and collect them, you'll soon know when one has come over the fence as you'll hear the groan and then the conversation about whose turn it is to go and claim it. They might be more careful then about kicking them up so high and hopefully once lockdown is eased they'll be able to get back into the park with it instead.

cindylouwhosplaits · 07/05/2020 13:36

This happened to us. I stopped throwing them back every day and just chucked them all back one day a week. Didn't take long for them to set up a netted area in their garden around the goals to keep the balls in. Works a treat and saves me worrying about my children getting hit as the balls are hard.

LastTrainEast · 07/05/2020 13:41

Once you have mentioned it politely stop giving them back. There are other games they can play. They don't have some special human right to play football

Mumto1girl3boys · 07/05/2020 13:42

People that are telling OP to keep them or pop them, thats actually illegal and she can be charged, ive had to go through it with my neighbour

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