Balls over fence. Lots and lots of them.

[Ballhater]

Perhaps more of a WWYD?

NDNs are really nice but have 3 teenage kids who play football in the garden every day. In fact that’s all they do in the garden. They have a full size goal at the end of the garden which spans the whole width.

We get a lot of balls over the fence. One or two a day at least. The record I think was 7 in a day.

This is really starting to piss me off. Especially as I have two little kids who might get hit by a ball. Also we have plans for that end of the garden and I don’t want any plants or garden features to get squashed.

We’ve tried asking them to be more careful when my kids are playing out. Not really had much impact (2 balls came over yesterday).

My DH is pretty relaxed about it all and kicks balls back the same day or the next day.

We’re on good terms with our neighbours and I don’t want to change that.

I’m thinking of a fence topper? We could grow things up it which would be nice. But not sure if that would have much impact as I don’t think they can be that tall.

What is reasonable to do here??

I haven’t even got into the constant fucking thud thud bang clash of the bloody balls against the fence. We own the fence by the way.

Re: how much they can help it....

In part I think it's about the size of the kids and the space they have.

They might get more skilled as they get older but they can also kick a ball a lot harder.

So yes if they play less aggressively its probably possible even in a relatively small space for teens to control the ball. Thing is it's just not as much fun....and until there are consequences for them and their parents my experience is they'll play how they want to.

Another aspect of tolerating this is related to age as well.

Young kids playing with a soft ball I'd have no issue with if it went astray occasionally.

But when it's teens they can (normally) go to the park or at this time should be capable of playing in such a way that they don't damage property or putting in equipment (nets) so that it's not an issue.

@meow1989

I have expensive plants in my garden. I started getting annoyed when neigubours kids kept kicking balls over. I returned them once a week or so (was always out for work) until the day their ball broke my greenhouse window. After the bill to replace it we never had another ball over.

I am happy to give a bit of leeway to people at the moment but some people have children or animals who could be hit and also may have long established gardens.

There are some people on here who would love to have this as their only problem with their neighbors. A proper fall out with neighbors can absolutely ruin your life. They start with low level actions like diliberately bursting footballs, for example, and end up with diliberate all night noise, parking disputes, complaints to every authority, including child protection, Police etc. People end up in Court spending thousands of pounds and their whole life is dominated by the dispute. They can't move because they have to declare the dispute and they become ill and stressed. Everyone who has ever got to this stage never thought it would happen to them. Of course they were in the right, which is good consolation for another sleepless night. I would say be careful what you do. People become very irrational when you challenge their use of their own land and property.

@ClareBlue yes you’re right. I think ultimately that’s why I wouldn’t (tempting as it is) puncture the balls. I’ll put my needle out of reach

I’ve come to the conclusion that we are being overly accommodating and nice. DH and I ate both people pleasers which is not a great way to be. We kick the balls over quickly and have never complained until very recently when we asked they play more carefully.

I think for now we will kick balls over less regularly. There’s nothing much they can damage at the moment (other than hitting me or the kids which is fairly unlikely). I’ll make it clear again that if my kids are out there balls mustn’t come over.

I’ll see what it’s like after lockdown ends and I might suggest that cat fence thing or that they erect some sort of netting especially once we get that end of the garden more sorted.

@Honeyroar I’m not sure I’d even get it over the fence 🙈

• are both people pleasers. I promise I most definitely did not eat either of the people pleasers!

It's a fair point Clare but the flip side of that is just how much people like the OP and myself should tolerate.

It's not really about the inconvenience of throwing balls back.

It's about the damage a proper football can cause when kicked hard.

As I've mentioned, we had fish killed, windows broken, bottles smashed, fencing damaged etc

They were causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage.

We tried to be nice and explain the situation calmly because we didn't want a neighbourly dispute.

It didn't work and sadly there are some people who only take notice if you up the ante...

So you finally have to make a choice to put up with the situation or take a stand and whilst there's a risk it could escalate further you have to balance that with the problems caused by maintaining the status quo.

This could easily be solved by them moving to goal so that they are kicking towards their house rather than your garden.

Just stop kicking them over and wait for them to come and collect (only answer the door when it’s really obvious that you’re home). If they complain just suggest they stop kicking balls into your garden.

@Reginabambina if they did that they wouldn’t be able to get past the goal to the rest of their garden! It literally spans the width of the garden. Plus even if they did it’d be the neighbours on the other side who would suffer and more so as their house would be in the firing line!

We don’t chuck balls back. I can’t see over our fence and I know our neighbours have a conservatory and guinea pigs. After one of their balls smacked into MY guinea pig run I don’t want to risk the same happening to theirs, and I don’t want to hit their conservatory or something else in their garden. We just wait for them to come and collect them (they rarely did and now no balls come over, possibly because our hedge is now very tall).

The problem is their trampoline is right up next to the fence and the kids play with footballs on it, so they would sail over.

Actually one of their balls is still under our hedge from a year ago

If they’re so crap at their little game when they’re teenagers, that they’re incapable of controlling where their filthy ball goes, they should find a hobby they’re actually good at.

Why do people feel entitled to get their flying, virus-y junk returned to them? Keep your shite on your own property. Having to listen to thudding balls is bad enough, if you love the footballs so much, keep them in your house.

We get a lot in our garden too and just throw them over when they come. Not a lot for kids to do at the moment - when things ease I'm sure they'll not be out there as much then you can do more with your garden plants.

I wouldn't throw them back quickly- make them wait and they may be more careful.

Bursting balls is mad! We have young kids next door, 6 - 9 years old who kick the balls over to our garden maybe 15-20 times a day! My children are young teenage geeks who don’t really play in the garden but they still look out onto the garden when getting a drink and return all the balls off their own back (as we do). It does get a bit annoying and the flowers get squashed but still would never burst their ball.

Can’t imagine popping a ball and teaching my children that it was ok to react like that.

If my property was getting damaged I'd be furious. Teenagers should fucking know better. I have a terrier who'd wreck the balls in minutes 🤷🏻‍♀️ they'd soon learn.

Are you frickin serious??
How dare those neighbor children enjoy spending time outside!

Do you also scream "Get Off My Lawn "???

🤦‍♀️🥴🤐🤮😱

I would keep all the balls, until they get the message how annoying it is. and until they can learn to have a more perfect football skill.

The people saying it’s not a big deal and to get over it - well I bet you’ve never been in this situation. I too have a neighbour whose kid kicks footballs into our garden (before lockdown so nothing to do with “poor kid having no where else to go”). I move my little ones inside as soon as I hear his thud thud on our fence. The parents are very selfish as they can see the damage their kid has done and I’ve told them please be careful it could hit my baby on the head but nothing changes. I really fantasise about living next to an old couple , even if grandkids came (post lockdown obviously) and kicked ball that would be a nice break from having to run inside and feel we can’t enjoy our garden. It doesn’t look like they’re moving anytime soon tho with all the building work they’re doing.

I’ve got teen boys and lovely new planting and it’s a nightmare!
Could you ask your neighbours to go halves on netting like this?

Actually, I hadn’t properly read the thread
Mine don’t punt their balls over to next door very often nowadays 😉
When they were younger, we put up netting like this but wouldn’t have asked the neighbours to chip in.

Don’t be too quick to return the balls.

Don't get why people live in terraced houses if they are that dickish about having neighbours. If you can't tolerate normal neighbourly behaviour go and live in the sticks somewhere.
It's a lockdown. They're playing football in their garden. Just give the balls back and knock on the front door and ask them to be more careful.

It's not that simple.

People on here aren't talking about the odd rofue ball over the fence.

It can be multiple times a day, hours of incessant knocking for the ball back (like every ten minutes some evenings - not an exaggeration).

It damages property. Green houses, windows, fences, any vegetables/flowers you might be trying to pkant, your childrwns faces...

That is NOT normal neighbourly behaviour, it is lazy parenting and a lack of basic human respect. And when it is teenagers they are more than capable of being careful with the ball if they want to.

You’re concerned about your small children being hit by a ball but you’re thinking of installing a pond?