Balls over fence. Lots and lots of them.

[Ballhater]

Perhaps more of a WWYD?

NDNs are really nice but have 3 teenage kids who play football in the garden every day. In fact that’s all they do in the garden. They have a full size goal at the end of the garden which spans the whole width.

We get a lot of balls over the fence. One or two a day at least. The record I think was 7 in a day.

This is really starting to piss me off. Especially as I have two little kids who might get hit by a ball. Also we have plans for that end of the garden and I don’t want any plants or garden features to get squashed.

We’ve tried asking them to be more careful when my kids are playing out. Not really had much impact (2 balls came over yesterday).

My DH is pretty relaxed about it all and kicks balls back the same day or the next day.

We’re on good terms with our neighbours and I don’t want to change that.

I’m thinking of a fence topper? We could grow things up it which would be nice. But not sure if that would have much impact as I don’t think they can be that tall.

What is reasonable to do here??

I haven’t even got into the constant fucking thud thud bang clash of the bloody balls against the fence. We own the fence by the way.

Imagine willingly popping a kids football... baffled.

I don't have this problem (may I never take my isolated location for granted!), but I suspect the problem isn't that it's such hard work to throw a ball back once or twice a day.

The problems are:
-- constant noise of the ball hitting the fence
-- never knowing when/if a ball will come sailing into your garden, which would wreck my nerves, tbh
-- having children or pets potentially hit in the head with balls crashing down from above
-- having plants, garden furniture, garden decor, mugs/dishes smashed, broken, or otherwise ruined by balls

I don't think I'd ever actually pop a ball, but I can see how it might be fun to fantasise about-- particularly if the neighbours don't seem to give a crap about the fact that they're or their children are being pests.

I'd probably see about putting up a net or sail of shade fabric, OP. At least until I could grow a hedge, pots of tall bamboo, etc.

Speak to the parents about the footballs being a concern when your children are in the garden and ask if they'd consider a netting arrangement.

Because DH is kicking them back over, the parents will have no idea how often this is happening.

I used to have a massively CF neighbour and this was one of their many many anti-social habits. In their case it was tennis balls - with a net at right angles to their house and very close to it - balls forever smashing onto our conservatory roof and in a couple of cases into it when the doors were open and nearly hitting our much younger dc when they were in the garden. Neighbour didn't give a damn so I stopped returning them. When his son then just hopped over the wall (without asking) to get them I started shutting them in the back of the garage and playing dumb when he asked if I had any. They eventually moved the net to the end of their garden when I had accumulated about 50 tennis balls. Presumably it hurt his fathers pocket enough at that point.

My neighbour's son kept knocking on the door and asking for his ball back. After several times in a day, eventually I said sternly, "But if it comes over ONCE MORE, I'm going to keep it!"

Ten minutes later he knocked again, looking very guilty, and held out a Mars bar and said, "I'm very sorry - please can I have my ball back?" Oh, well, it was worth a try!

Thanks everyone!

I wouldn’t ever pop a ball although yeah that is a fun fantasy! Ha ha.

To be honest I don’t think it’s much worse cos of lockdown. I suppose it must be a bit worse. But before we were getting lots anyway - they’d be out after school and they play for long enough to get a couple over a day. At least! The 7 in a day record was before lockdown!!

But @NeutrinoWrangler has it spot on. And @DeRigueurMortis your situation sounds very similar (but I don’t have a pond - yet!). But we also have a playing field minutes away and even pre lockdown they only ever seemed to use garden.

The cat netting thing someone suggested looked good.

The throwing the balls back isn’t the problem and I’d rather do that than have 10 footballs in my garden. And yes they are proper footballs.

@DeRigureMortis what did your neighbours do to solve the problem? Did they just stop playing?

Oh, Flamed, that's really cute 😄

@MrsTerryPratchett their dad is out there with them a lot so I think they do know the number of balls. They’re nice people so I’m sure they’re conscious of it but at the same time their kids want to play football.

Yes - they stopped.

As I said realistically the garden just wasn't big enough.

I would have been fine for a few under 6's having a play - but nowhere enough space for 3 6ft teenagers kicking a ball with full force.

My guess is that the parents put a stop to it when they realised I'd been pushed too far and really intended to start presenting bills for all the damage.

Aside to the things I listed I also forget to say above they broke one of the summer house windows.

I never popped a ball but I'll admit I got close to it....

I know it might sound petty but when it's relentless and damaging items that are not cheap to replace its incredibly frustrating - especially when you've repeatedly explained the damage they are causing.

I changed kids footballs to those light style ones - kind for beach almost. They moaned but they dont cause damage or hurt if go over the fence. Also they are never allowed to knock for a ball and neogbour tends to throw them all back late at night.

@DeRigueurMortis thanks that’s interesting. To be fair they’ve never done much damage other than to a courgette plant! But that’s because the end of the garden where all the balls go is currently not got much in it. But I do worry about my kids getting hit and my future plants and pond.

I wonder as all the kids get older - youngest is 13 I think - it might be better for everyone if they go to the park instead.

I’ll see what it’s like post lockdown and see how they go now we have asked them to take more care...

My son occasionally sends footballs over the fence - we are going to put up one of those nets like you see in golf centres. Google football nets. I think it’s rude of your neighbour to think even one ball each day is acceptable.

I stopped it by telling the kids to send their parents round to ask for the balls back next time one went over (after them knocking 3-5 times a night over about 6 weeks after we moved in here).

When the dad did come knocking I explained that I was glad to meet him at last - because four of our back fence panels that his kids kept wellying footballs against needed replacing, and as it was his kids that had obviously caused the damage, he'd need to pay for them.

I also told him that we wouldn't be returning the ball any more unless he or his wife came and knocked for it, as if we were having our evenings interrupted by his kids 3-5 times a night, it was only fair that he and his wife should have their evenings interrupted too. They live behind us and we're both on decent sized plots so it's a 5 minute walk from their front door to ours.

Never seen them or had a football in our garden since.

Good strategy Wickedly

OP I think the crux of the issue wrt resolving it is that the parents have to experience their share of the inconvenience/cost of it happening.

Until I said I was going to bill them for repairs "nice" discussions had no impact.

It's also why throwing the balls back is counterproductive - they need to come and collect them.

I which I'd thought though of wickedly's idea of getting the parents to collect the balls though - I think that's genius wrt them being interrupted/inconvenienced and also (hopefully) embarrassed about how many times they had to come over.

Oh god, we had this for months last year! It is hell.

New neighbours with two teenage dc who would constantly kick the ball over, at a rate of at very least 3 balls a day, and then badger us incessantly for them.

I wouldn't have minded so much but we are directly opposite a massive park with a bloody pair of proper goalposts in it. They smashed plant pots and my expensive ornament I was gifted by a deceased relative.

I asked them and their parents politely on numerous occasions to just try not to do it too much. They would agree and nothing would change, they just had no respect for anyone else's property.

The final straw was when a ball smashed in to my poor two year old ds's mouth.

I started going out with a needle and sticking it between the seams in the balls whenever they came over (they take quite a while to deflate) and handing them back sweetly.

Funnily enough their aim improved dramatically after around two weeks. Turns out they could aim better if incentivised enough to.

Teenagers playing football in the garden is a dick move anyway. Our garden is so small I don't even let my 6yo. But teenagers can fuck off to the park.

Stop throwing them back. They'll run out of balls and stop.

But teenagers can fuck off to the park
We're in lockdown...

@Choctimeout oh god that is so tempting. It’s very interesting though as part of me does wonder how much they can help it. But your experience suggests it is possible to control the ball well enough!!

You could make sure your husband takes one of their windows out every time he kicks them back over! That would make them realise!

@Ballhater trust me, do it.

I dithered for a while over the morality of it but it certainly worked when nothing else did. I figured that they would never respect my property so it was fair enough.

I actually came across the idea on an old mumsnet thread when I was searching for advice!

If theft is the intention to permanently deprive someone of something that belongs to them then you are within your rights to keep the balls and return them at your leisure > once a week, once a month? Surely, they will run out of balls or have to come round and ask for them properly - at which point you tell them you've had enough. You will have the issue of storing the buggering things though.

@Honeyroar sadly DH is far to nice to consider that. I’ve only just convinced him that it’s a bit of a problem in case the ball hits our kids our the pond to be!

I am tired and had a rather unpleasant visual on reading the thread title before I clicked what it was about!

I would have a chat again and if theres still no response return the balls on a weekly basis I think. It's so awkward when you want to maintain good relationships!

Well then you kick them over!😂