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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Balls over fence. Lots and lots of them.

125 replies

Ballhater · 07/05/2020 11:52

Perhaps more of a WWYD?

NDNs are really nice but have 3 teenage kids who play football in the garden every day. In fact that’s all they do in the garden. They have a full size goal at the end of the garden which spans the whole width.

We get a lot of balls over the fence. One or two a day at least. The record I think was 7 in a day.

This is really starting to piss me off. Especially as I have two little kids who might get hit by a ball. Also we have plans for that end of the garden and I don’t want any plants or garden features to get squashed.

We’ve tried asking them to be more careful when my kids are playing out. Not really had much impact (2 balls came over yesterday).

My DH is pretty relaxed about it all and kicks balls back the same day or the next day.

We’re on good terms with our neighbours and I don’t want to change that.

I’m thinking of a fence topper? We could grow things up it which would be nice. But not sure if that would have much impact as I don’t think they can be that tall.

What is reasonable to do here??

I haven’t even got into the constant fucking thud thud bang clash of the bloody balls against the fence. We own the fence by the way.

OP posts:

00100001 · 07/05/2020 13:44

Yep, I'm for just chucking them back maybe once it twice a week.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 13:44

You had your neighbour charged for stealing a ball?

Mumto1girl3boys · 07/05/2020 13:48

@Thisismytimetoshine No I didnt but i emailed the police to ask for advice as she was refusing to hand my sons ball back, they told me she can be charged and to call 101. I knocked on her door myself and asked her for the ball back. Her attitude wasnt as bad when she wasnt dealing with a 10 year old

heartsonacake · 07/05/2020 13:49

have you ever read “How yo win friends and influence people”? No. I guessed not.

Mkh873w I’m not interested in becoming friends with those who bring their children up to be selfish and inconsiderate.

People that are telling OP to keep them or pop them, thats actually illegal and she can be charged, ive had to go through it with my neighbour

Mumto1girl3boys The chances of anything actually coming to fruition are so small I’m happy to take that chance.

And perhaps, instead of “having” to go through it with your neighbour, you could just teach your children to respect and consider others.

Snowman123 · 07/05/2020 13:49

Yes hedges great idea.

Fast growing ones.

redcarbluecar · 07/05/2020 13:49

I have a few balls come over each week and I live next to adults!
Try mentioning it to the neighbour in a pleasant way and return the balls when it suits you. Don’t keep them though, and certainly don’t pop them.

Disfordarkchocolate · 07/05/2020 13:51

As neighbours problems go this is not that bad. I'd give them permission to collect them as long as your garden is empty. Otherwise throw them back every few days.

Pinkyyy · 07/05/2020 13:51

Very similar thread about a week ago and I was amazed at the amount of ball poppers. Is it really such a hardship to throw a ball back?

FrankieKnuckles · 07/05/2020 13:52

I don't think YABU-you're not saying you're going to mention to neighbours, rather trying to find a practical solution.
I don't have one, but wanted to say well done for being empathetic towards your neighbours

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/05/2020 13:53

Throw them back once a week and they’ll be more careful.

Mumto1girl3boys · 07/05/2020 13:54

@heartsonacake Oh shut up😂

minettechatouette · 07/05/2020 14:13

Surely this is mostly a lockdown issue. Just chuck the balls back and sure, get a taller fence if you want. But I think this is basically just one of those things that comes along with living next door to people.

heartsonacake · 07/05/2020 14:16

Mumto1girl3boys No. It sounds like it’s about time someone said it to you.

LellyMcKelly · 07/05/2020 14:22

I’d leave the balls and let them have to come round and ask, and then I would make them go and get them themselves.

glitterelf · 07/05/2020 14:23

Don't bother with a badminton net my neighbours have just erected 3 shoddy nets to stop their shuttlecocks from landing in everyone's gardens and guess what I still found 3 in the garden this morning.

ClaudiaWankleman · 07/05/2020 14:30

If you pop balls that come into your garden, you're a dick in my book. There are no mitigating circumstances for damaging another person's property maliciously and intentionally.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 07/05/2020 14:36

Has anyone ever tried charging their neighbours for damage to plants/property/fencing from balls landing on things or being kicked against fences?

If balls count as important property, then other things should, too.

(lights blue touch paper & goes off to do something more worthy)

DamnYankee · 07/05/2020 14:43

cindylouwhosplaits

That's a fair way to handle it. If questioned, I'd play the "my kids are getting hit" card.

Honeyroar · 07/05/2020 14:43

I’d speak to the neighbour. Tell them it’s driving you mad and you’re worried it will hit the little children. Offer to put up two batons either end of your fence that they could attach a fruit net to (you can get them cheaply on eBay. They can then let the net hang down to the floor and peg it to the grass 1’ in front of the fence. It would stop the noise as well as the balls coming over, with a bit of luck, and can easily be removed when we are out of lockdown.

opticaldelusion · 07/05/2020 14:50

Wow. This is bringing out a few sociopaths isn't it. Destroying kids' footballs? What a bunch of miserable cows.

LoseLooseLucy · 07/05/2020 14:51

What kind of a nob head pops a kid's ball? 🙄

AnneOfCloves · 07/05/2020 14:56

Speak to the parents about the footballs being a concern when your children are in the garden and ask if they'd consider a netting arrangement.

It's a difficult time for bored and trapped kids of all ages, and a Live and Let Live attitude makes it all easier to cope with.

Mumto1girl3boys · 07/05/2020 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mkh873w · 07/05/2020 15:12

Heartsonacake, you do realise that’s a really good way to start something you can’t finish? I imagine the people in your life react to you quite badly.

DeRigueurMortis · 07/05/2020 15:14

I think the issue here is how frequently it happens, the damage it's causing and what (if anything) the neighbours are trying to do about it.

Throwing the odd ball over a fence now and again isn't a big issue.

In my case the older teens were constantly playing football in a garden that was simply too small to do so - especially given how hard they were kicking the ball.

Aside from the constant noise of them hitting (and damaging) our fence, which was extremely annoying we were getting 2/3 balls over a day.

The balls were damaging plants, landing in the pond and frightening the fish to the point we had a couple die of shock (plus anyone fancy throwing back a wet soggy ball), splashing us if we were sitting by the pond, DH got hit a couple of times and even onto our patio table and unforgivably I think you'll agree spilling my .

We asked (nicely) many times for them to be more careful...it would stop for a bit then start again.

Worse still there was a playing field only 5 mins walk away they could use.

The incident finally made me lose my rag.

In a cold fury I went round and told them any further balls would not be returned and I'd be expecting them to pay for the damage they were causing going forward - starting with replacing the fence panel they'd broken and a replacement bottle of wine.

No issues after that and frankly I wish I'd been more forceful sooner.

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