How many hours can a single parent realistically work now?

[firstmentat]

Just interested in people's opinions. What do you think is a realistic number of productive hours per week a person can work during the lockdown in the circumstances below? An expectation of full time hours is probably unrealistic, but how much is reasonable to expect? Trying to manage my expectations re work productivity.

If there are suggestions of a tried-and-tested timetable, I would be really grateful.

• Single parent (the other parent is not involved);
• Two children, 4 and 6;
• Not a key worker (so children at home);
• Desk job (similar to data analysis / software development);
• Some light managerial / supervisory duties;

Thank you all!

Don’t beat yourself up- the current situation is really difficult for everyone.

But maybe once this crazy situation is over work on their independence.

Most school aged children, special needs aside, can get themselves up , fed and dressed if required.

At school they are expected to be independent enough to dress for pe and eat their lunch etc

Dont resign OP, I am wfh with kids on my own and it is hard. I have breakfast with kids and work the morning 9-1pm while they watch TV. Then I have lunch with them and try to finish work by 330-4pm. I also work all day Saturday when they are with their dad, as I dont manage my full hours during the week.

It is crap and I feel very guilty that they watch so much TV and get little attention.

I'm still doing full days at home, it's just that on my lunch hour I can put washing in, hoover etc and no commute so it's literally 9-4.
I'm a single parent of 2 ( 13 and 9), I think it would be much harder for those with small children, so much so that my neighbour has chosen to go into work so she can put he dc into school as she couldn't work properly from home.
I think everyone is doing their best.

My employer has said we're not working from home, we're at home working as best we can, doesn't mean most of us aren't working long hours, doing new roles etc. but it's a recognition that we all just upped and left the office with very little notice and no choice and lots of us have children, other adults, pets etc. in the house, we're running around doing shopping for people etc. and that's fine, as long as essential work is being done.

@Asdf12345 most people need more than 5 hours sleep. Unless you are one of the few who can function on little sleep, then 5 hours a night is not sustainable

@ColourMyDreams what a wonderful management style you have. Way to motivate and inspire your team to produce good quality work for you. Zero empathy. Let's hope karma come to bit your royal ass very soon.

OP. Under those circumstances, probably about two to three hours during kids' waking hours, then maybe another three when they are in bed. But that would give you zero downtime which would not really be sustainable.

@ColourMyDreams you sound like you are a walking case for unfair dismissal. I hope someone charges the arse off you.

I’m a single parent, but mine is about to leave primary school so can occupy himself, I’m a key work too, but able to work from home. I do on average 45 hour weeks, working a few hours on weekends and evenings. It is a struggle and I feel guilt he is “neglected” as much, but make sure when I’m not working we spend time together, play games, go out on exercise etc.
I’ve decided I’m not a teacher though, and no home schooling is being completed.

I am a lone parent but my kids are a bit older than the ops. I am doing a 45 hour week
Because it has been made clear to me that if my hours drop I will be forced on furlough which I cannot afford and which in my company would put me in the frontline for redundancy.
When I got a call from the school enquiring why I wasn’t contributing to the class blog etc I told them the above. They were very understanding. I now do no homeschooling. I ignore the kids 9am to 7pm. Their behaviour is falling apart and education is really suffering. My anxiety levels and insomnia are through the roof.
But I have to prioritise hanging onto my job. Employers have us over a barrel and at our firm they have stopped making allowanceA for the new situation. All of their childless enployees can work long uninterrupted hours from home. So the difficulties that have always faced parents and particularly single parent have just be multiplied many times over.
So advice to op is don’t resign and come to terms with just not homeschooling. And know you are not alone.

@doryhunky you are not alone, you had pretty much described my situation. Hang in there, it can't be forever.

Do any of the single parents her any experience of getting their kid into school on grounds of mental health? As in, the child needs it to stay sane?

doryhunky I am in the same boat. I am just trying to distance myself from it and remind myself that the pressure and the bollockings are nothing to do with my performance, it’s just the way things are now.

The trouble is it’s made me lose loads of respect for my employer - as soon as I am in a position to leave I will do so. Hard to forgive the cavalier way they have pushed and bullied us to breaking point.

@firstmentat honestly, those children do exist (mine were both like that by age 6/year one and still are very independent in the morning), but what you describe is definitely the norm and the exceptions are just that - and not the result of wonderful parenting, but simply personality type.
Go easy on yourself

to all those with crappy employers. All I can say is, remember how they treated you when times were bad and especially when they want you to go the extra mile in future.

3 hours, max. I do most of it in the evening after the kids are in bed. Mind you, I am self employed and have the luxury of cutting back on work.

Get the essentials done for work, keep some sort of routine in place for your kids but ignore the school pushing you, batch cook where you can and incorporate housework into the day. I am serious - my 6 and 4 year old helped me mop and hover yesterday and put their clothes away (supervised).

I think it depends on how many children, their ages and temperament. I'm not a single parent but my dh has worked away a lot, particularly last summer over school holidays he was away for 4 weeks. I work pt in public sector then 3 days for myself. During self-employed days I can get a full days work done though it's spread over 8am-9pm with gaps for making lunch, taking dc and dog out for walk etc. But I only have 1 very easy 8 year old who can make own food and pretty much entertain themselves.

With two kids I'd say probably 4 hours would be reasonable during the kids waking hours but then I would work when they're in bed and try and do chores etc when the kids need more interaction during the day.

A friend has put in a request for flexible working. Her boss deliberately made her wait three months for an answer then refused her. He says he’s within his rights to do this and told my friend to go appeal if she wants to.

My friend’s colleague said that he told her that it’s his way of getting rid of “unreliable single parents” because ‘they give up and go away.”

Words fail me.

OP you have not failed, I only have a 4 year old out of your two's ages but although he can put clothes on himself (excluding socks!) it's a miracle for him to do it unaccompanied and without nagging. So much so that yesterday he actually did put on the pants, shorts and t shirt I'd left out for him, and came running downstairs saying LOOK AT ME I GOT DRESSED ON MY OWN!!! DH and I were flabbergasted

He also couldn't prepare his own food, I mean I'm sure if I put everything in reach he could pour a bowl of cereal, with cereal and milk spilled everywhere. But that's it. He requires constant input.

Listening to Boris made me think of this thread. Very clear that employers should be sympathetic to working parents. Gov has said clearly those with childcare issues CANNOT go back to work and employers should be accommodating.