How many hours can a single parent realistically work now?

[firstmentat]

Just interested in people's opinions. What do you think is a realistic number of productive hours per week a person can work during the lockdown in the circumstances below? An expectation of full time hours is probably unrealistic, but how much is reasonable to expect? Trying to manage my expectations re work productivity.

If there are suggestions of a tried-and-tested timetable, I would be really grateful.

• Single parent (the other parent is not involved);
• Two children, 4 and 6;
• Not a key worker (so children at home);
• Desk job (similar to data analysis / software development);
• Some light managerial / supervisory duties;

Thank you all!

Well at least people know who not to work for @ColourMyDreams. You sound like you're stuck in the 1950s tbh.

@FirstTimeMum54321 There's not necessarily an umbrella term - some people do prefer one or the other term. I went from childfree (in my 20s) to childless (in my 30s) to reflect the fact that I went from believing I didn't want them, to grieving that the choice was removed from me (surgically infertile at 33).

Sorry, derailing all over the place here!

One or two hours max. Very tough with children of a young age . You cannot be expected to look after children (a full time occupation) and do another job at the same time

I think the children's school are putting unnecessary pressure on you and the children, they are 4 and 6 years old fgs.
I would tell the school to stop ringing you for starts unless they can do anything practical to help.
Maybe a little bit of reading before bed and a bit of maths on the tablet is enough. They are only little.
We don't use a lot of tech but atm anything goes. We still keep an structure but there is probably 4 hrs or more of tv/ tablet a day. Some of it might be didactic games, some not.
We are living unprecedented times, they 'll have plenty of time to catch up, it's not worth the stress.
I am not single, so hats of to you op, you are a superwoman, my boys are the same age as yours and they can drive me up the wall sometimes. Re the housework I'd go back to basics, dishes clean clothes wash and bins out , anything else is a bonus.
If they could farlogh you it'd make things easier, otherwise I think working more than 3 hours a day ( 21hrs) is more than enough. Ignore that telephone conversation you overheard, dont waste your energy on them, some people lack of empathy. You have to do what is best for you.
Good luck

OP, I think the job market is about to get very difficult so if you've got a good job, hang onto it and try and ignore bitchy colleagues who were probably pricks pre-COVID.

Agree with PPs that you should dial back a little on the schooling. It won't harm the kids and I say this as a teacher.

@ColourMyDreams I bet your staff really, really hate you.

@ColourMyDreams bless you

I expect staff to work their agreed hours
Have let things slide over last few weeks,obviously,but sooner rather than later this will be the case
Will not reach for the P45 s but would expect them to cut hours (and pay) if necessary
Otherwise the whole business is at risk along with everyone's pay,mine included
Can't understand why people would expect to get paid for hours they don't work

@ColourMyDreams what a horrible comment. You sound like an utter bastard.

I expect my staff to work the same number of hours and shifts that are stated in their contract.

I meant to say I'm glad my employer isn't like this. I'm working at home for the nhs while looking after a baby (not single) and doing most of my work in the evenings.

I’d say if it is really so bad that you’re considering giving up work (a) tell the school you are about to quit your job and employment is more important than doing every single exercise the school sets, so please do not contact you again this month (b) set a strict timetable where you get up an hour before the kids to get emails out to colleagues, and do at least 2-3 hours when they’re in bed (c) think about how you can “look” like you’re working and really prioritise those things eg. saying something in the first five minutes of a call, sending emails throughout the day using delayed send, calling key individuals 1:1 for a quick five minute question/ catch up when your kids are quiet etc. Then the people that matter will think you’re working hard even if in reality you may only be doing a few hours a day

Also - how much of this is just you being paranoid about work expectations? As long as your manager is happy, don’t worry about what other people think. Have you had an open call with your manager explaining that you have two very small children and as such you will be working in the morning and evening but may not be 100% available in the day? You’d have to have a pretty awful manager for them to not be at least a bit understanding about this.

You are doing an amazing job OP.

First of all, do not quit your job! Second of all, tell the school to F off. A 4yo and 6yo do NOT need home schooling. Your physical and mental health is more important. I live in the EU and kids don’t even start school until or 7 here. It’s enough just to do a bit of numeracy and literacy through play - 5 Minute Mum on Instagram is great for ideas.

Both DH and I are WFH with 1, 3 and 5yos and each do about 3-4 hours a day. We are very lucky that we have understanding employers who aren’t holding us up to our targets. They understand that everybody is doing their best and prioritizing what is most important.

We are expected to work the contracted number of hours but these can be flexible to a degree re times. This applies to all staff.

As for There's also the housework, shopping and cooking to be accounted they would be done outside work time so no different.

Can I just say it's hell! I've 4 part time
Jobs and I'm studying a degree course in uni. I've three kids, two are under 4. On the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Thankfully must of my work can be done around the kids but man once a deadline rolls around I've just had to get my dad in to help.
I can't physically do it all. Probably get shot on here for breaking the rules.

Housework gets done at the weekend or while you are making a brew to drink whilst working.

Cooking same - easy lunches, batch cook after kids in bed on Saturday nights.

Schoolwork fits round everything else So weekend mornings or if you find a quiet period with work.

I used to work 25 hours per week at home with a 2 year old and a 3 year old. 2 hours at some point through the day (plus email checking and replying) and 3 hours each evening 7-10pm. It's not ideal as there's very little time for you, but it's doable in the short term and it means not too much of trying to work during the day by grabbing bits of time - I have tried that too and you just end up feeling like you're being crap at both roles. Any more productive hours would probably need to be done at the the weekend with children that age. Obviously some kids will happily watch tv all day if you allow them to, but that will make you and them feel rubbish.

It's child free not child less

Sorry but you don't speak for me. I'm childless.

Apologies everyone, as you were.

I think it depends on several factors, including what sort of work you need to do and the age, temperament and number of children you have. I'm a single parent with one energetic child under the age of 5 and we live in a small one bedroom flat with no outside space. My little one is awake by 5:30am every day and wants to be doing things every minute of the day until bedtime. Even though my child will sit still to watch the tv for about an hour, I can't say that this is time I could use for work which required 100% concentration over a sustained period, as even when watching tv, my child wants me to interact by watching a funny bit of whatever's on tv, commenting on what is happening etc. (I'm not suggesting this is wrong by the way, but whereas I would previously have time to concentrate when my little one was at nursery, this isn't the case at the moment.)

As a flexible and very rough timetable, I would suggest:

• wake up and do usual morning routine (make beds, have shower etc)
• have breakfast together (maybe prepare it together if they're young enough to enjoy 'helping')
• help the kids set out a play activity (e.g. helping the kids build a train track / toy shop / pretend school using toys etc) and ask them to do this for 1 hour while you work
• Have a break, admire whatever the kids have been doing, do an activity together (e.g. drawing / school work)
• Get another hour's work done while the kids entertain each other / play / watch tv.
• Everyone tidies up then helps to prepare and eat lunch.
• Go for a walk and play some outside games to burn off energy
• Return home and help set up another activity before working for another 1-2 hours (depending on how good the kids are at keeping themselves occupied).
• From dinner to bedtime is a write-off work-wise but, depending on bedtimes, a parent can then get several hours work done in the evening.

In terms of home schooling, I personally wouldn't bother for a 4 and 6 year old. (I appreciate others have different views and needs; particularly with older children that need to complete schoolwork but aren't quite old enough to study on their own.) I tried a 'formal' style of learning with my little one and it made us both cross. Now, we read together every night before bed as usual, do art together (my little one often asks to draw pictures for the friends he can't see right now, which is great because it also gets a bit of writing practice in, tracing the dots to form a friend's name and brief message), practice counting and using different terms when we're playing a game in the park (e.g. collecting a certain number of sticks to build a house, how many do we have if the wind blows 1 or 2 away; using the measuring tape to measure household objects; measuring liquids and weight when making a cake etc.) Is a 'maths' lesson as long as it would be in nursery? Maybe not, but I view this time as reinforcing information and practicing it.

Simply do the best you can. If you've got deadlines, prepare a realistic project plan so you know if you're on track to meet them and, if you can't, ask for help sooner rather than later. Don't feel guilty about getting some sort of mystical work/life 'balance' right. If, for what will hopefully be a relatively brief period in the grand scheme of things, you need to work x hours a day (whatever your specific number is) to keep a roof over their heads, the kids will just have to cope with slightly less attention.

I don't get those having a pop at ColourMyDreams. This is how employment works. You agree contractual terms and if you don't like them, you seek work elsewhere. If you disagree with employment law / state support available for those struggling in various areas, campaign for change rather than having a pop at those who run a business in line with current laws and regulations.

@C152H Your post is all about flexibility, which is what I'd expect from an employer at the moment rather than behaving as if nothing odd is happening to our entire way of life...

The school sounds like a nightmare

I am only attempting schoolwork on the weekend

@ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo I’m in the same boat but I’m a single parent whereas the others who can’t be bothered to pull their weight do not have children. I’d be less bitter if they had a reason for why their productivity is through the floor.

I don't get those having a pop at ColourMyDreams. This is how employment works. You agree contractual terms and if you don't like them, you seek work elsewhere. If you disagree with employment law / state support available for those struggling in various areas, campaign for change rather than having a pop at those who run a business in line with current laws and regulations.

But employment isn't working as normal, is it? It's a global pandemic, and decent employers are trying to be at least somewhat flexible around that. Any companies taking advantage of emergency publicly funded support or loans, but a hard line on strict contractual terms when there is the possibility for flex or furlough should really be named and shamed.

Being polite, tell the school to fuck off.

My 6 year old attends an outstanding state school in v naice area. We have had one call, they send home work, great if you do it, no problem if you don't. The main concern is for everyone's mental health. We do what we can, when we can and what suits our child.

This is a very interesting question. I am a single parent and a freelancer who works from home, so prior to lockdown I was used to working around my 9 year old daughter and working evenings or early mornings, weekends where necessary etc. I thought lockdown would not be much different to normal as my daughter is used to me working from home (although gets grumpy about it occasionally).

HOWEVER - it is not as easy as I thought it would be. In fact it is stressing me out. Normally when she was at school I would at least have a bit of time to work and get chores done - but mainly work and then stop at about 3.30pm when she got home from school and then start again at about 7pm. Now she is at home all the time, I simply do not have the time to work full time, look after a house, cook, supervise homework, spend quality time with her and all the other little things that have to be done. There is not enough time in the day.

She sees her father every other weekend (yes the government allow that) and then I try to get as much work done as possible, but I still have to leave her alone for big chunks of the day while I am working and I hate it. I know she does not like it and I feel terribly guilty. I don't think it is good for her at all. What to do? Don't earn money and have not money but emotionally be there for child, or do earn money and have money and have a child who is on her own for the majority of the day with screens for company?