How many hours can a single parent realistically work now?

[firstmentat]

Just interested in people's opinions. What do you think is a realistic number of productive hours per week a person can work during the lockdown in the circumstances below? An expectation of full time hours is probably unrealistic, but how much is reasonable to expect? Trying to manage my expectations re work productivity.

If there are suggestions of a tried-and-tested timetable, I would be really grateful.

• Single parent (the other parent is not involved);
• Two children, 4 and 6;
• Not a key worker (so children at home);
• Desk job (similar to data analysis / software development);
• Some light managerial / supervisory duties;

Thank you all!

Also wanted to say that I feel genuinely sorry for anyone working for colourmydreams - what a horribly shitty attitude for an employer to take. If I knew this was the opinion of my employer I would find a new job as soon as possible. People like you really are the dregs of society.

I’m trying to my full time hours (single parent with a seven year old) which would be seven hours a day. My employer is understanding, I’m maybe doing some days longer than others, homeschooling doesn’t really happen, and she plays too much roblox, it’s tiring but at least my boss isn’t hassling me, I generally get roughly my 35 hours done.

Single parent with 2.5y DS. I get up at 5:30 to work until 8:30 when he gets up. I work whilst he has his breakfast, we play until lunch time and eat together. On an afternoon he tends to chill out around 2pm for some downtime and will go to his bed and lay down / so I work that time. Then I work until my bed time. It's knackering but I'm doing my full hours.

I have a 4 and 7 year old and we have sort of got into a pattern that works for us, but some days are definitely tougher than others! I do a couple of hours first thing while they play. We then do their zoom lessons and follow up activities for a couple of hours. Have lunch together and then they entertain themselves while I work solidly for about another 3. So 5-6 hours of productive time max. They have appeared on plenty of video calls and my work are being understanding that anything I can achieve right now is better than nothing.

Lone parent with one DD aged 8. I work 24 hours a week.

6 hours a day. Maybe an hour in the morning then put the kids to bed and work 7-12. I’m a single parent too. It’s hard.

Could you be furloughed?

@ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo - I guess my post was about flexibility, where possible, in that I was suggesting breaking the day up into chunks around work / childcare. This is also what the OP asked people to comment on. But I did also remark that if a certain number of hours had to be worked temporarily, then they just have to be worked. (I say this with sympathy and awareness of how difficult this is, coming from a single parent family where my mother worked all the hours possible, then came home exhausted and studied well into the wee hours to get a university degree so she had the prospect of getting a better job, so we no longer had to pick discarded food from the markets each evening to feed ourselves. It took her the entire length of my primary school education and she graduated with honours. It wasn't easy and it certainly wasn't what she wanted from her life, but it just had to be done.)

In respect of my comment about ColourMyDreams, they appear to be simply stating how their business runs. The OP says their employer offers a level of flexibility, which is great. I'm all in favour of this! Unfortunately, there's no legal requirement for employers to behave in a caring manner, and certainly no incentive for doing so (excluding potential recruitment costs but, large companies like one I worked at for many years said openly that they could behave how they like because so many people wanted to work there to get the name on their CV, they didn't care if existing employees were unhappy - they were easily replaced). Smaller companies may also not have the resources (staff, financial etc) to be as flexible or supportive as they may like.

@Stuckforthefourthtime Thu 07 - I totally agree with you. This isn't normal and, where possible, I would hope employers are being reasonable (being a somewhat cynical person though, i suspect many aren't); but there's no point being upset that they're not doing more than they're legally required to. Personally, I'm pretty hacked off that the moment lockdown was announced, the company I freelance for sacked me specifically because I had a child to look after (without asking me whether working from home with a child would be manageable). They also haven't paid my final invoice or responded to repeated reminders. Is this right? No, it sucks and I'm doing what I can to mitigate the damage (i.e. take them to small claims court for money owed) and just move on.

To the original OP - I hadn't realised you posted additional comments, and I'm sorry to hear things at work have been so bad you are considering resigning. I would try to stay as long as possible, while looking for an escape route on the side. Try not to dwell on remarks from catty colleagues and just continue to do the best you can. I do sincerely wish you well and hope things improve.

If you work in public services and you’re ‘working from home’ then yes you could probably work considerably less than you are contracted to. Like 3 hours instead of 7.

But that’s because you’re non essential. In fact you could probably not work for 6 weeks and the public wouldn’t notice any difference whatsoever.

I'm a single parent working from home. Averaging about 12 hours a day five days a week and about another four or five spread across the weekend. It fucking sucks. My kid is on screens around the clock because I can't work without them.

People like colourmydreams are the reason for this. Come the revolution.

Its better than working in a hospital or a supermarket. I keep telling myself over and over and over.

thepeople why on Earth are you working 1/ hours every day? That's crazy.

Regardless of your job, or what you're paid, that's unsustainable.

I'm wfh with 3 kids (8 - 13), single parent. I manage a small team in a university teaching role. They have loads of school work, lots of different platforms.

I've handled it very badly on occasion. Couldn't get into a routine. Got so frustrated by constant interruptions from kids. Felt I was doing everything badly.

Now it's improved. Have some semblance of a routine. The kids do school work but I don't do it with them. I take some time each afternoon to review some of if with one child. So I engage as much as I can.

I find I can do calls & meetings quite easily now, and also I teach online at times & that's gone from nerve-wracking to manageable.

The thinking time I need for my job is the huge problem. I just can't get mental space. My kids are older but there's lots of fighting.

I do my contracted hours and maybe more. Some early mornings, some late nights. I'm fortunate my job affords me the chance.

Mentally I'm exhausted. It's the constant shift between work / home / kids.

Some days I make poor choices, delay diner while I waste time on a work task I'm too tired for. Lose it at the kids instead of being reasonable.

With kids younger than say, 6, I don't think a full day is possible and decent employers should prioritise as much good output as possible without fussing about hours.

@SoVeryLost

Parents very rarely pick up the slack for the childless. Whether at work or financially.

The childless pay the same amount of income tax as parents despite the fact that those parents chose to have children who consume a lot of state resources. The childless don’t get an income tax / NI discount for consuming less resources.

Council tax is another example. A single person consumes a lot less than the family of 5 next door but only gets a 25% discount.

Whilst I don’t agree with colourmydreams attitude, your statement that parents pick up the slack for the childless is laughable.

Earringsandlipstick because I'd lose my job if I wasn't available to work all those hours. You're right, it is unsustainable. They pay lip service to wanting to make it easier for people and be more tolerant of the challenges for people but the reality is if a demand is made of you at 7.30pm and you can't do it for childcare- associated reasons its seen as a strike against you.

In theory they understand that you have childcare responsibilities. In practice if you can't pick something up because of this its seen as evidence of your flakiness/unreliability. This makes you much more disposable, at a time when almost everyone is disposable.

The cold reality is that to start negotiating for breaks would leave me very exposed if there were to be redundancies (which is very possible). And they know that and trade on it. It's shit, but like I said, its better than working in a supermarket.

The childless will have their pensions paid by the children of the parents and grandparents they work alongside.

Thank you all - many comments were genuinely helpful, I probably was feeling quite low today. I am not in public service, but in low level technical management in financial services. The employer will not furlough (I think, die to reputational issues). And I don't expect to be paid for the hours I don't work, I actually reduced my contracted hours by 50%. I am not sure how people came to conclusions like this.
And yes, I do feel bad about being unreliable for the employer, and I can feel that colleagues drawing some unfavourable conclusions.

The childless pay the same amount of income tax as parents despite the fact that those parents chose to have children who consume a lot of state resources. The childless don’t get an income tax / NI discount for consuming less resources

(A) we were all childless before we were parents
(B) the majority of people do ultimately become parents, so overall we contribute quite a lot
(C) at every place I've worked, part time workers (almost all mothers) far overdeliver on their contracted hours
(D) despite what many people think in the UK, you don't 'pay in all your life' to some kind of tax-based pension and health pot... Instead you pay for other people's pension and health care, and the children of today will pay for yours. It's in your best interest that they don't grow up in child poverty or unstable, overstressed families with measurably worse life outcomes and lifetime earnings

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Do you realise there is a difference between childless and childfree?

I’ve seen some pretty horrific posts on mumsnet towards the childless, particularly on the infertility and adoption threads. Some posters seem to think that having sex and producing a child is something exceptional and makes them a superior being to those that that struggle with infertility. Could you explain why you think that @bernadetterostankowskiwolowitz?

By the way, do you mean the 8k a year state pension? No one I know is planning on relying on that. Most people I know are making private provision out of their own salaries.

That's awful @thepeopleversuswork 😰

Do you work 12 hour days when in the office? How do you manage for childcare then?

If you don't do this and it's only since you've wfh, then definitely don't do it at home.

I know I don't understand your work, but if you don't work 12 hours, they can't just fire you. I know you'd feel vulnerable if redundancies come, but it isn't work sacrificing your own health, free time & time with your DC

I've had jobs where I've worked very long hours because I thought I 'had' to. It turned out I didn't, I just convinced myself I did.

Try to start taking some steps back from this 💐

Across 5 days?

What time do the children go to bed?

At that age, assuming no SEN, I would say maybe two hours during their waking hours, split into stints (so probably screen time for them!) and then 2-3 hours when they're in bed, depending on what time they go. So maximum 5 hours a day, 25 hours a week.

My employer is expecting me to work normal hours while working from home so 8:30-4 (28 hours a week) and have been reminded of this and told it's expected dispute distractions of children etc

I'm a single parent (12,9,4) there is zero chance off me sticking to normal hours, am catching up in evenings on my day off and at weekends

Don’t resign from a well paid job, I can assure you that being a single mum you may find it as stressful to work in your current job as in a supermarket. Because the main stressors are related to ensuring your little ones are fine.

Given the current circumstances, I would try to ensure the kids went to bed on time, deal with work that requires a lot of concentration while the kids are asleep and do the lighter work as things come by during the day (trying to deal with kids and work at the same time will just exhaust you and you won’t do either well)

Besides... your kids are not expected to sit any life changing exams in the near future, you have years ahead of you to catch-up with 6 weeks of homeschooling.

Who else thinks that in reality @colourmydreams works the fry station at McDonalds?

@TazSyd that’s great that you know more about my workplace than me which is what I was talking about and what this thread is about.
Your post in general terms is correct however there are instances where they are not.

Depends how much/well they sleep and how much sleep you need, plus how much of your work can be done at night

28 a week 1 hour in the day 3 when they are in bed. Which is rubbish not to have an evening 7 days a week but I can’t see how you can work longer than an hour with very young children.