to twat teen DS with a spade and call it Home Schooling?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

on the basis that he will be educated by it?

Opened the freezer to take out tomorrows dinner (chicken breasts with.....I dunno, some tinned shite probably, in case anyone cares) and the dodgy shelf gave way again.

I got utterly twatted on the foot by a frozen chicken. It hurt a lot. I cried and shouted and did a LOT of swearing, I think I made up a few.

DS did that thing of coming in and saying "are you ok?" which winds me up something chronic. Obviously not. And I pointed this out, again in quite a sweary way. I did then say "I'm sorry, I'm in pain and pissed off, just leave me be please" and then picked up the offending chicken and launched it into the conservatory (genuinely amazed I didnt cause some really expensive damage, lucky I am a shit thrower) shouting "BUT YOU CAN FUCK OFF YOU FEATHERY CUNT"

It was at this point that I feel that DS's education to date has let him down. Because at no point did he think it might not be a good idea to say "It hasnt got any feathers, its been plucked".

AIBU?

Nor entrails

Omg that made me laugh more than it should've!!!!!!! 🐓

No court in the land will convict

Wait has no one been about to tell the the psychological effects of swearing in front of children??? grabs some popcorn waiting

But are you okay OP?!!
it was the teenage son in the conservatory with the frozen chicken before he cooked it and ate the evidence - see Roald Dahl's Lamb to the slaughter

🤣🤣🤣 thank you for cheering up a sleepless night.

The votes are showing though, the virtuous head patting supportive, never angry parents are waiting for someone to acknowledge them before they pounce 😂

But think of the psychological effects of swearing at your children!

pigeons my two are immune/been told they have to do creative swears, the muddyfunsting sock cookers but yep, amma getting my popcorn for tomorrow

Wait the lamb to the slaughter thing wasn’t real? I’ve told my kids it was!

The votes are showing though, the virtuous head patting supportive, never angry parents are waiting for someone to acknowledge them before they pounce

Bring it on bitches. My foot has swollen to worrying proportions and I cant sleep. IANBU and if you think I am, FUCK YOU TOO!

If you’ve never slaughtered a lamb in front of your children are you even a real parent??? 🧐

Tis a work of fiction my friend, a short story many teens do at school

Applauds OP channelling Blackbear/Frankee there
Blackbear - I am so down with the kids
Frankee - how fucking old am I?!

@PyongyangKipperbang you did a good job (other than the homeschooling)

Joking aside, I assume you have elevated it and iced it not with the poultry Might it be an A+E job do you think?

You’re losing me @FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums, is this a don’t do drugs example now 😂

50/50?

Seriously?! Get yourself a teenager then vote!

thanks for the giggles op ha! Yeh i agree ie the education part lol, i had similar with my 11yo dd who thought pork came from a chicken. I had to then go through a list of what animals produce what meats and she was amazed!

@FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums

It hurts like a bastard but yes I have iced and elevated. Its nothing serious, a stubbed foot instead of a stubbed toe iykwim.

Maybe show some sympathy, maybe their teens are threatening them to vote this way. Evil little bastards! 😂

The Roald Dahl shadow dancing or my ecelctic taste in music pigeons?!

eclectic

Well here's some and sympathy OP. I stubbed my toe kicking a wall by mistake last year - my toenail went black then died then fell off. Flipping awesome it was (had to help prise off one side of it which had been ingrown then it grew back beautifully!)

I think your DS learnt a valuable lesson there. He will thank you when he has Malcolm Tucker’s job.