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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated to receive a card from MIL

120 replies

MilkMonitor · 17/09/2007 16:56

signed love from Mummy and Daddy when it's addressed to me, my sons and my DH? I find it presumptious especially when she refers to my DC as her babies?

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 17/09/2007 16:57

Message withdrawn

cornsilk · 17/09/2007 16:57

How wierd! Does she mean she's your children's mummy?

3sEnough · 17/09/2007 16:57

YABU - give the lady a break!

ledodgy · 17/09/2007 16:58

It would be more weird if she used their first names considering she is your husband's mother and your dc's grandmother.

lulumama · 17/09/2007 16:58

life's too short

policywonk · 17/09/2007 16:59

My MIL does things like this and it is irritating. OTOH, she is your DH's mummy, so in that sense she is entitled - and she can't really be expected to sign a card 'from Mummy/Granny/Esmerelda' (or whatever her name is).

ProfYaffle · 17/09/2007 16:59

I'm not exactly close to my pil but I was quite pleased when they started signing cards 'Mum and Dad', felt like they'd finally accepted me as part of the family.

NineUnlikelyTales · 17/09/2007 16:59

If she means mummy and daddy for your DH then that is a bit tragic, if she means mummy and daddy for your DC then she is very presumptious and odd

MaryAnnSingleton · 17/09/2007 17:00

I got a bday card from in laws signed love from mum and dad - can't see what;'s wrong with that...

tortoiseSHELL · 17/09/2007 17:00

Wouldn't bother me at all. My mum always called her father Fredick (short for Frederick) and her MIL Mother.

cornsilk · 17/09/2007 17:00

I think it's wierd for a grandmother to sign 'Mummy and daddy' if her child is a grown man.

Spandex · 17/09/2007 17:01

Sounds like she's interested in being your kids mum! And you're supposed to be grateful!

What an odd woman. I'd just sign it from Granny and Grandpa rather than list all the titles.

cornsilk · 17/09/2007 17:01

Mum and dad is okay. Not mummy if your son is an adult.

MaryAnnSingleton · 17/09/2007 17:01

my cousin, a grown man, refers to his father (now dead) as 'daddy' - I think it's quite sweet, but might be a class thing.

Original poster
MilkMonitor · 17/09/2007 17:03

But she's not my mum! Not even close to that kind of relationship.

OP posts:
ledodgy · 17/09/2007 17:04

Mummy and daddy might be a bit twee but if that's what their son calls them then so be it. It's not like they've signed a card just to your dc's 'mummy and daddy' have they?

ledodgy · 17/09/2007 17:05

What do you want them to put? Love from *rita and Bob, Nanny and grandad and mum and dad delete as applicable? Complete over reaction imo. obviously deeper in law/outlaw issues here?

Original poster
MilkMonitor · 17/09/2007 17:05

They did that to my SIL's kids one time. Her DS 'phoned her up to correct her. She said, "But I am like your mother. I love you like a mother."

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/09/2007 17:05

OK. I admit to not knowing what to do re that. I call my parents mummy and daddy (maybe weird but who cares). So when I write a card to them from us both, what so I write? To XXXX and YYYY or to mummy and daddy.

I wouldn't be irritated.

ProfYaffle · 17/09/2007 17:06

I'm not close to my pil either. They are very reserved buttoned up type of people. I guess that's why it didn't bother me though, they are quite cool and distant where the dc's are concerned, definitely not trying to take over the parental role iyswim. Unlike my parents

lulumama · 17/09/2007 17:06

maybe she is trying to have a close relationship with you?

TheQueenOfQuotes · 17/09/2007 17:06

my parents sign cards to my DH (ie his birthday card) from "mum and dad".....he doesn't have an issue with it.

I don't have that problem as FIL rarely sends cards from abroad (big risk of them getting lost) and if he does it's just "amaiTafara"

TellusMater · 17/09/2007 17:08

I think the closest relationship takes precedence on signing cards to families. Which would make her right (if a little twee).

pirategirl · 17/09/2007 17:08

my dd got a birthdya card from her dad, he signed it with his first name.

she got a card inthe post from him recently signed with his first name, and in brackets (daddy).

Your mil just sounds like a mil to me!! Does she always sign this as so?

Maybe she was having a laff? Hard to say.

WinkyWinkola · 17/09/2007 17:12

God, that's tragic. Does your DH really still call her mummy? What a turn off.

She's not your kids mum so I wouldn't worry about it. Let her have her little moment.

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