People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

Well surely if someones husband has Cancer ,she should be shielding with him?That was the whole point I thought .In any case children sitting on the grass is a natural thing ,and no one is very likely to catch Covid from that surely .Where we live we can walk to the nearby River ,and there are many people with dogs ,children and so on .A small baby was on the grass everyone just smiled! I would just carry on .maybe try to go a bit earlier ? No one has rights of way we are all just doing our best!

People are idiots, if someone is so vulnerable then they need to make the alterations. How is anyone outside their home supposed to know.

I dont freak out if someone walks close to me and my children do their best to avoid bring any loser then 2 metres to strangers, sometimes though it just doesn't happen for many reasons.

Continue taking your children out and ignore the haters.

People making statements such as “parents should keep their toddlers under control and not let them lag behind” have either (a) never had a toddler or (b) completely and utterly forgotten what it’s like.

Mine is two. I took her hand to move her on the other day. She sank to her knees and put her face in the mud 🤷🏻‍♀️

It is 2m where possible. There will be plenty of situations where you can’t stay 2m away from someone. This is ridiculous. Social distancing has taken on a life of its own with lots of people seemingly convinced if you get closer than 2m to another person you risk certain death.

The level of anxiety people are exhibiting is not proportionate.

Yes OP use a buggy for the 3 yr old, however you will need a double but make sure it doesn't take up anymore space, because you would then be an entitled double buggy user and then you can have a thread berating you for having a toddler in a buggy who should be walking.

Win: win or something.

People are behaving absolutely bonkers at the moment, and using the situation to be openly hostile and vocal about stupid petty stuff. If you are so anxious about your surroundings, wear a mask when out, or stay in. People are too focused on what others are doing when they should take responsibility for keeping themselves safe. People going out are expecting everyone to be practicing social distancing and being sensible, but obviously that’s not going to happen.

So because they adult choose to go into the 3 year olds space the 3 year old and her father is the ones not socially distancing when it’s the lady over OVERTOOK them
BOTH

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend She shouldn’t have had to overtake them in the first place; the 3 year old should not have been lagging behind. If they can’t keep up through narrow spaces then they should be carried/placed in a pushchair until wide open spaces are reached.

All this namby pamby letting toddlers toddle in public places holding others up is annoying at the best of times, but when there’s a global pandemic occurring it’s just putting others through unnecessary risk.

sTSwift

What sort of society are we that small children and their parents aren’t cut some slack?! Dear god..

Well, how about cutting older people some slack? Or middle aged people, joggers etc etc. If everyone was considerate there would be no problem.

Having to distance themselves from others while out for a walk should not cause children anxiety.

I took her hand to move her on the other day. She sank to her knees and put her face in the mud

WelcomeToTheNorth So just pick her up. If she can’t walk sensibly she doesn’t get to walk. Allowing this behaviour to happen is exactly why it continues.

Well I did pick her up. She went limp so it was tricky but I did pick her up. The point I’m making is that they aren’t like dogs that you can call to heel 🙄

That shouldn't be happening and neither should Adults stopping and waiting for them on narrow paths. That's what the issue was, the DH just standing, waiting. You don't let your child lag behind or run to far ahead, unless in open spaces and I'm still providing childcare for my 2 and 5 year old GC, it can be done.

Standing and waiting on a path is perfectly fine.
As I understand it, the woman entered HIS space, so SHE was at fault. She could simply have turned around. SHE chose to approach him, not the other way around.
YANBU

It does cause children anxiety actually we try to mitigate it but it’s very abnormal behaviour which is distressing to everyone but more so children because they do not understand and cannot rationalise it. After the path incident I had questions from my 6 year old about why was the lady annoyed with daddy. Children pick up on more than people realise. My 3 year old is having wee accidents after being trained for nearly a year as well. Agree we should all be more tolerant and as I have said I have tried to be understanding of people’s anxiety but am asking for them to be tolerant of normal childhood behaviour.

Perhaps this is the nature reserve near me?
There are quite a few regulars there when I walk my dogs ,none of them with children are keeping the children with them
I’ve had so many kids come up to me to try to pet my dogs ..I’ve had to say where’s your adult and try to keep my distance many times ..
It’s weird ,I manage to keep my child with me ,
It’s frustrating that young children allowed to wonder off from their adult ,but also dangerous,because there is a clear stream running through,that is quite deep in places .
You frequently hear parents calling their child they have lost ...

Because older people or anyone over about 10 are sentient and understand how we need to behave and why and toddlers don’t?! Do I really need to explain that?!

Alot of people seen really intolerant of children, I can't take my 2dc out for a walk without them receiving filthy looks and one woman who was sweeping her driveway (at least 4m from where we were!!) Who stopped dead in her tracks clutching the broom to her chest shooting death stares at my 4 year old until we had past. At no point were we anywhere close to 2m near her, there was really no need to treat my child like a leper. I've had people tell me to keep my child under control when again - she wasn't actually near anybody! She notices this too and shes started to become very anxious, to the point that she doesnt like being out and will ask to go home when we go out for some air.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Local covid 19 support page erupted the other week, calling parents child abusers for keeping the kids indoors all day. Another public page had a nasty post saying if parents on their street didn't take their children out they were going to "sort them out" because the kids make noise all day long and "walks will tire them out and keep them quiet and away from the houses" (words to that effect). If you do take them out for a walk you're told to keep them home.

I can well believe it Liittle sadly some odd bitter people are using the situation to unleash their anti child feelings and they now have an excuse. Feel sorry for them really can’t be pleasant living with that mindset.

Totally agree OP. And I'd rather be dead than screaming at friendly children in parks.

Same

Op YANBU.
The way this whole thing is making people behave is making me so sad.
I have a 2year old and he's actually been extremely good at holding my hand more, and we go to a park at the end of our road which is mostly a huge field and easy to stay away from people. But he's extremely clingy now and actually doesn't want to go out very often which saddens me. We saw a friend in the park a couple of weeks ago (unplanned.. Just bumped into each other) and the toddlers made absolutely no attempt to get anywhere near each other as we shouted at each other from afar.

I seriously worry about the long term affects of all this. The odds of anyone catching anything from my child if he gets within 2m, who hasn't been anywhere near anyone other than his parents for 7weeks is so absolutely miniscule it barely registers. You are probably more likely to be struck by lightning.

We haven't had anyone sya anything yet, but rather a lot of looks because my child likes to pick up sticks and jump in puddles. 🙄

Mine is two. I took her hand to move her on the other day. She sank to her knees and put her face in the mud

But you were able to stop her by gently pulling on her reins, right?

All this namby pamby letting toddlers toddle in public places holding others up is annoying at the best of times

Good lord. What’s it like to actually have this mindset? What a miserable life you must lead.

I agree @Welcome. Imagine being such an embittered sod that you resent a small child learning how to walk.

I agree welcome and just! I wonder what’s gone wrong in their lives to have this attitude to small innocent children exploring the world! Shocking.

Even before this, due to living in a busy city, my kids (now 3, 5 and 7) were great at getting into single file on busy pavements straightaway when asked, from a very young age. It beggars belief that adults are utterly incapable of doing this, or even just waiting a minute if the path ahead is blocked, given the circumstances. Daily exercise is incredibly important, and more so for young children, so we all just need to be a bit more considerate. That might occasionally mean waiting for people to pass. YANBU.