People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

Sorry for the nasty posts in here OP. I'm totally with you. It's hard for the kids. Thankfully, most people are still being nice to my LO. He's so outgoing, I would be heartbroken if not!

i also believe that if you are the one who is at high risk, then you have a responsibility to keep yourself safe completely agree!

@WorraLiberty if people are vulnerable surely they should be the ones staying inside? Isn’t that the point of shielding? Why is a cancer sufferer or the carer of a cancer sufferer wandering about at a nature reserve in the middle of the day ?

Adults can easily go for a walk when it’s quiet and they are the vulnerable ones. 3 years olds at 8pm is not a great idea. My children have likely already been exposed to covid, by virtue of my job. They are expected to behave in a completely alien way to protect others for no benefit to them. The reason I put in the back story was to explain why these small things are getting me down right now. This is only a small number of people many smile and are nice and it really helps.

How were either of the vulnerable people being nasty to the OP's husband??

They only asked him to socially distance and get the kids to do the same.

To be perfectly honest, since his wife had Covid-19 just a few weeks ago, I'm surprised anyone would have to ask him.

Yanbu! Whys it just the children being blamed and expected to be the ones to move? Was out walking with our DC similar country area and woman comes striding along centre of the path, we pull to the side and she starts shrieking and waving her arms "you need to move! MOVE!" She could easily have side stepped to the other side of the path and would have been a clear 2metres, but as she was intent on remaining in the centre of path, there wasnt, we couldn't have moved further without clambering into the bushes!

I don’t think any preschool child can reliably practice social distancing

If only there was some kind of adult figure with them who could take their hand and make them do what they need to.

Whoa hold on you have actually HAD COVID recently enough for your family to be pre symptomatic carriers if they caught it off you and you think it's ok for your family to go to a public area and not practice social distancing...?

So you admit your kids (and your husband) are likely carriers?

I think the solution here is for him to take them to a park to run around and enjoy themselves. Not to a nature reserve with narrow pathways.

We’ve got a 4 year old and 1 year old, the 4 year old moves over and I either sling or buggy the 1 year old. Even so I’ve not come across this attitude at all. I think the whole situation though has totally given people permission to be rude though. There’s just no need, yes everyone is worried but ffs they’re still only small kids.

If only there was some kind of adult figure with them who could take their hand and make them do what they need to.

Exactly.

Oh my god. I cannot believe people are saying 3 year olds should not go out if they can't keep their distance. Adults can modify their behaviour if worried near a small child.

That is the saddest argument I've ever heard. Children need to be outdoors these are incredibly difficult times for families and small children.

Sometimes the toddler next door comes too near my older kids when we pass in the street. I just gently pull them back and remind him to stay away.

This whole crisis is putting enormous pressure on children and we as a society should be going out of our way to encourage children and families to use outside space as much as possible

You don't catch the virus outdoors while walking past people anyway

If my OH had cancer we would not be out walking in the woods, my neighbours are in isolation because one of them is high risk category. It is sad they are joyful to see enjoying the outdoors. I would just ignore.

The woman could have waited if she was the one who wanted to maintain the two metres, it's not like your child approached her. If she was that worried then she should have gone somewhere with more space to social distance at all times, many places it's just not possible. A few seconds to pass someone at a metre away may not have been an acceptable risk for her but that's not your problem!

Do people not read the thread? She had CV-19 at the beginning of APRIL and were now beginning of MAY well over the 14 days for anyone showing symptoms ffs

Like I said adults shouldn't have to go for a walk later to suit you. Tbe rule is 2m, it's the responsibility of the parent to ensure tne 3 year old does this. There is no 3 year old blaming here just parent blaming. Your 3 year can pass this on as easily as anyone else so respectin that and keep your child 2m away from people.

I agree OP, how dare these oldies go out during the daytime and expect others to make an effort to maintain some sort of distance. I think it's disgusting to be honest.

Considering this started as a parenting site,it’s full of child haters. This absolutely! It's become really bizarre since the whole bloody covid stuff!

If they can’t manage social distancing with reliable vocal instructions then they need to be under physical control in more confined areas. Take them to an open field to do things in their own time like pick the daisies or dawdle where there is plenty of space for people to move around each other.

But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time.

Of course not, that’s their parent’s job!

Why are vulnerable people going somewhere where it's hard to keep 2 metres? Why don't they go somewhere with more space? Children need to be out and fresh air and exercise.
I'm considered vulnerable so mostly I don't go out if I do it's either early or late. Older people have to appreciate there will be young children around in the middle of the day, why can't they go out later.
People are vile to children sometimes and it's a lot worse at the moment.

We went out for the first time in 8 weeks today (Italy). That's how long children have been forced to stay inside. Meanwhile, dog walkers could take their dogs on long rambles...
Anyway, today I tried really hard. But a four year old doesn't always remember to pull the mask over their face even when being told repeatedly. An eight year old wants to run a bit further than two metres ahead after being inside for two months. I really really tried to stick to the rules. But at times there were less than 2m and there were moments without masks. Both children and high risk folks need to go for a walk. It would be better if there was a time of day when only high risk people could go out, maybe 10-12am or something, so that they could void joggers and children!

I’ve followed all govt advice and from occupational health when ill, we stayed in the house for 2 weeks so no they are not carriers of covid. I’m back doing my clinical job so that would be more worrying than walking around a nature reserve. My husband had some symptoms so probably had it but wasn’t tested. Kids have probably had it asymptomatically but this hasn’t changed our behaviour. There is a playpark which is shut so the nature reserve is really our local green space.

All the people I know who are shielding haven’t left the boundary of their property for the last 6+ weeks. Anyone that vulnerable has been told to stay at home and not go out unless absolutely necessary. My diabetic neighbour isn’t going out at all and his wife walks early in the morning to avoid seeing anyone. So you know personal responsibility works both ways.

Are people missing the part where it was the woman overtaking the child and their parent, she was the one entering the two metre space and not social distancing, not the child. She could have simply waited or gone a different way if there was not two metres to pass.