People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

Also I think those that have been really hard done by during this are those that are vulnerable or elderly. Remember at the start the choruses of oh well, it's only the elderly and those with underlying conditions that will probably die? Now they have the nerve to want to go out during the day. Some of them will be scared because their treatment has been postponed, their daily walk might be important to their wellbeing. How about we all think of others? If the 3 year old wasnt moving perhaps the women didn't want to have to wait an undetermined amount of time for him to move, when he could have surely feasibly moved or hurried little one along. I take my toddler out on reins because our walk isn't more important than anyone elses, no he doesn't understand, but everyone is doing things differently at the moment.

Sadly a minority of people seem to be using the current situation to be aggressive and unpleasant to others - usually to women and children. There have been various posts recounting similar incidents and Ivan well believe it. Frankly there’s no excuse for it.

You're absolutely right OP. I've started feeling a bit sad for my kids (similar ages to yours). They're bored at home & me & DH working as usual so can't give as much attention as necessary.
Then you go out & hope to enjoy it but spend all your time barking 'keep left', 'out of the way', 'you must keep away from people'.
Even at a young age I worry this will result in anxiety.
I do try & get out early but work commitments don't always allow this. And quite frankly children can be unpredictable, so plans don't always go to plan. I think people forget/don't appreciate this.
I understand everyone is anxious about contracting the virus but it's unfair to take this out on young kids.

@servers
The government advice is for them to stay at home, and exercise inside. That’s the official advice for those who are shielding so they shouldn’t actually be outside!

We have also encountered some very rude people as well OP. We had one could (older man and woman, maybe mid 60’s) loudly exclaim that my son and I refused to give them 2m of space on the pavement and we were disgusting and the reason it’s spreading.

I was actually getting my son into his carseat and they walked past, rather than walking around the car, or waiting 30 seconds.

My favourite though is a lady who had an out of control little dog, at the park, no lead, dog is running up to multiple people. It runs up to us and starts jumping up at my son and pushes him over. I grabbed its collar so it couldn’t run off, lady comes over while shouting and genuinely said it is our fault as my son “must smell of sweeties”.

Some people are just nuts, some people are rude, you can’t do anything about it.

YABU. If all your children can’t reliably practice social distancing you should ensure you are only taking them to places with wide open spaces.

You are their parents, it is your responsibility to make sure they social distance without giving x, y, z excuses of “why they can’t”, because they can.

YABU. If all your children can’t reliably practice social distancing you should ensure you are only taking them to places with wide open spaces.

You are their parents, it is your responsibility to make sure they social distance without giving x, y, z excuses of “why they can’t”, because they can

So because they adult choose to go into the 3 year olds space the 3 year old and her father is the ones not socially distancing when it’s the lady over OVERTOOK them
BOTH

Ok

Yanbu.
I'm very tolerant of little kids when I'm out.

Thanks for all the supportive comments. The nature reserve does have open grassy spaces and we mainly play there but there are also a few narrower paths. The kids are not running amok, we do remind them and keep them near as much as possible but they can get distracted and we are only human. There’s 3 of them and only 1 of us out most times now atm, the little one is in the buggy but still needs attention (I’m sure someone will tell me I shouldn’t have had 3 children if I couldn’t look after them in a minute however I have them now, can’t send one back). I do understand this is all very worrying for people and we have always been polite to people and would not get in any arguments but it’s worrying for the kids too who don’t understand and have the cognitive capacity to deal with it. I’m not suggesting vulnerable people be banned at any specific time just that people need to take a bit of responsibility for their own safety and understand that kids are not able to perfectly social distance all the time.

@Russellbrandshair shielding and being vulnerable are different things, with different guidance. It's a good job comprehension doesn't make you more susceptible to it as many people who can't grasp the quite simple difference would be screwed. People who are vulnerable still can potentially get very ill from it, and many probably do stay in scared (which is sad), for others a walk or going to buy supplies as you dont get the same support as the shielded is neccessary for physical and mental health; just as it is for others.

We get people are worried and concerned but taking it out on innocent families is really not ok🙄

You're absolutely right OP. I've started feeling a bit sad for my kids (similar ages to yours). They're bored at home & me & DH working as usual so can't give as much attention as necessary.
Then you go out & hope to enjoy it but spend all your time barking 'keep left', 'out of the way', 'you must keep away from people'.
Even at a young age I worry this will result in anxiety.
I do try & get out early but work commitments don't always allow this. And quite frankly children can be unpredictable, so plans don't always go to plan. I think people forget/don't appreciate this.
I understand everyone is anxious about contracting the virus but it's unfair to take this out on young kids

Basically came on to post exactly this.

I’ve found people round here to be pretty tolerant. I take my kids down to the golf course at the bottom of the street every day. It’s quiet and expansive (and there is no dog poo!!) and they can have a good run around there.

We do occasionally meet people on the paths etc so I grab them and pull them to the side when we see people approaching. People are mostly nice, will say thank you and we will share a smile or an eye roll that this all necessary now.

I do worry however about the impact this all has on the kids. The five year old has a basic understanding and seems to just be getting on with it but the two year old is confused. She’s now compliant with it and will move away when she sees people but that makes me sad (and worried).

*Honestly, people have entirely lost their sense of perspective. The risks of catching anything, let alone COVID from passing a toddler in a park are off the charts minuscule.

I am honestly worried about what will become of society, people just don’t seem to be able to apply any sort of rational thought anymore. Every week that goes past it gets more and more ridiculous.*

This with bells on.

OP, YANBU. One way out of my house is down a narrow footpath less than 1.5m wide - we squeeze into the hedge or (for oblivious toddlers) go around them as best we can. Without nasty comments - we know it’s narrow and that’s the (minuscule) risk we take by walking that way.

You are doing nothing wrong - try not to let this stress you out, it sounds like things are quite stressful enough.

Look, you know the rules - you clearly know the rules. It’s your job to ensure your kids can take exercise without breaking those rules. That’s all you have to do. This isn’t rocket science. If we start making exceptions for your kids then we have to make exceptions for everybody’s kids.

YANBU. I can't believe these people being horrible about little kids. I'm in NZ and there are lots of children out walking here, I've never heard of any of them being treated like yours were OP. Some people have a completely OTT reaction to this virus.

@lookingforadvice8372829, you should have waited. This is how it is now. It protects the cashiers. You've had two months to get your head around this. Gone are the days when we are rushed through a till to keep the line moving as fast as possible. Or don't you consider the cashiers on the tills and them needing to minimise customers time around them? The lines are for guidance, you don't have to step upto them, you can keep back slightly and think about air space. A cashier doesn't know if you are about to cough and people are still coughing without covering their mouths.

"The 3 year old had fallen a few metres behind yes."

That shouldn't be happening and neither should Adults stopping and waiting for them on narrow paths. That's what the issue was, the DH just standing, waiting. You don't let your child lag behind or run to far ahead, unless in open spaces and I'm still providing childcare for my 2 and 5 year old GC, it can be done.

What you're asking OP is for your DH to be cut some slack and no, he shouldn't be. Outside is for everyone to enjoy.

People are extremely anti ageism on here which is great. Rightly so.

Until it comes to kids of course 😏

God, there really is some nasty bitter people around! Who would tut at a toddler looking at bugs on the grass?! If people are so vulnerable to be shielding they shouldn’t be out in the first place.

that people need to take a bit of responsibility for their own safety and understand that kids are not able to perfectly social distance all the time.

The rules are clear, 2m social distancing. Stop trying to make it responsibility of others because your children are being taken by you to places you cannot ensure this and are allowed by you to break these rules. I know it is a pain in the arse, I know it isn't easy, but the world does not revolve around you and it is your responsibility. If other people are repeatedly having to ask you to social distance on the same narrow path because you, understandably, cannot keep 3 kids close then change where you go to somewhere more suitable for your children.

If someone could tell me exactly how to take multiple young children out and not ‘let’ them dawdle or move more than 2m away from me I’d be very grateful. In fact, they can come and exercise my children for me. Feel free to try the evening after their bedtime and see how you get on 🙄

What sort of society are we that small children and their parents aren’t cut some slack?! Dear god...

What sort of society are we that small children and their parents aren’t cut some slack?!

The OP can very easily adjust her behaviour to abide by the 2 social distancing rule currently in place. She chooses not to. She chooses to block anyone on a narrow path from social distancing so her children can play there and them place the blame on others. Normally no one would care, but inappropriate in current pandemic.

We are a sad anti-child society. I believe that more and more when I come on Mumsnet. There has been a lot of talk about how the elderly are suffering recently - I have read many articles about them fighting for their rights to get outside despite being so highly at risk. Fine, but children have almost no risk of getting sick yet have lost friends, nursery, play, everything they love - children should not be indoors with their parents for weeks on end it is actually bad for their development.

I think in a world that was more in tune with childrens needs (and it is a need to play, not just a wish) - we would not have had such strict rules for children.

And for those freaking out about 2m. The rule is actually that to avoid risk don't spend 15 MINUTES within 2m of someone. You can walk past people.

Adults understand and can adjust their behaviour little children often can’t parents do their best I’m sure. It’s crap for everyone but yelling and hating at little families on a walk is pathetic