People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

YANBU, such young children can't understand fully and also don't know what 2m is!

I've also had a lot of people refuse to move, eg I'm walking down a path less than 2m wide with my 5yo (walking, scooting or cycling) and baby in his pram no one will let us past, instead I end up trying to navigate a bumpy and overgrown grass verge while a perfectly able adult takes up the whole path and tuts or shouts because I didn't put my kids in the road when they could have moved further over on the path or stepped into the grass instead of forcing us over.

We go out once a week if that because of this shit.

Surely the woman on the path was walking into a space that someone else was already occupying, so she was the one not socially distancing?

If there was a reason why she couldn't stop and wait a few moments until the people ahead had moved, she could have called down the path and asked if they could speed up as she'd left the chip pan on at home or whatever.

To stomp up to someone and then demand they move seems most unreasonable to me.

Sorry you're experiencing this OP. We're lucky that everyone we've encountered has been very nice when out and about with DC aged 2 and 4. It's the adults we pass who don't seem to recognise social distancing, have had a lot of people come very close even while we are huddled in single file against the fence! My DD 4 is very vigilant at following the rules, and DS has to be held firmly by the hand. I'm finding our local woodland area is being increasingly busier anyway so whatever we do, it's going to be tricky.

I refuse to keep them closeted in the house, we do have a garden but there's a limit to how much proper exercise they'll get. I really don't agree with people not taking DC for walks (unless you're a high risk/shielding house hold obviously), they really need that exercise and I think keeping them in will only contribute to their anxiety about catching it.

It was your DH's fault not your DS's.

I feel so sorry for that woman. All the worry of his cancer and then the worry of covid afterwards. Of course 3 year olds cannot judge the correct distance but your DH can, and he was a prick to let the situation arise.

You feel sorry for a woman who moved knowingly towards a stationary man and child? She was so terrified for her DH’s health that she didn’t think, “oh they’ve stopped, I’ll just wait here for a moment”?

I swear the COVID is making me actively dislike quite a significant chunk of society.

If she was that worried, she would surely have waited She's the one who chose to go past when she knew she wasn't far enough away. She could have turned round or just waited, so she can't have been that concerned about it or she wouldn't have done it!

Heartened to see there are some common sense and tolerant people still among us though!

I can't actually believe the ridiculousness of some of the responses on here!

YANBU OP...Some people are far too hostile at the moment as proven by some of the arsey responses.

Have any of these child critics ever raised or even been a young child themselves?! I despair sometimes

Tp counterbalance I left my 11 year old outside our local shop and an elderly lady came over for a chat they had a nice conversation about shoes. Dd said she thought the lady was lonely 🙁

BuddleiaTime how was the DH a prick? The woman walked up to them. What could he have done to stop the woman doing this?

Silly old bag - if she was that anxious she would've walked quickly by and got away as fast as possible. The fact that she couldn't resist loitering in order to admonish your DH screams of entitlement rather than genuine worry. It's such a difficult situation and I do have sympathy for both sides but you definitely are not the unreasonable one. This situation is really highlighting just how intolerant society has become of children - they are so used to kids being tucked away at school and nursery and now they can't bear it that they have to share green spaces etc with them.

All this namby pamby letting toddlers toddle in public places holding others up is annoying at the best of times

I think this is the crux of it. There are a lot of people who have always struggled to accept that children have a right to space. Before all this plenty of people have been irritated by toddlers walking too slowly, parents with buggies on the bus, parents with buggies on the tube, or in restaurants, or on the pavement. Teenagers are not given space to meet.
Covid has given these people a justification for their self centred and wholly unfounded sense that they have priority on our streets and in green spaces.

Yanbu OP, carry on claiming your right to public space just as much as anyone else.

@Sparkl

Absolutely, you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Lots of othering of children and teenagers going on in this crisis, but as you say it’s just an extreme example of how children are generally viewed as less deserving of space. I find it weird how our society manages to both sentimentalise and dismiss young people.

It’s like these people are extreme mental victorians “children must not be seen OR heard” there are not enough 🙄🙄 for my views on this. The very existence of children seems to make them furious!

A minority of older women have made their extreme disapproval of my beautifully behaved 11 year old walking down the street pretty obvious. I have absolutely no sympathy for them I’m afraid. Note most (normal) people of all ages are perfectly decent but dealing with this attitude is pretty unpleasant.

People are nuts atm. I had to take my 4 year old grocery shopping the other day. Was paying at the cashier and the lady behind moved closer to us to put her stuff up. My child was sitting in my trolley at the same place the while time and the lady started yelling at me that i should move the trolley away from her because she is in the risk group. I couldnt move forward because the woman before me was still packing up her stuff and the lady behind could have just waited her turn, but she chose to come closer and kept shouting 'you want me to die? Is that what you want? Unbelievable!'

YANBU, such young children can't understand fully and also don't know what 2m is

True. That’s what supervising parents are for. I would have thought a 3 year old would have a parent with him.... Wait ! Yes of course he did. How difficult is it for a parent to see an elderly person approaching and take his DC’s hand and move him out of the way of the path so people can safely pass?

This is the very reason why I take my dog for a walk at 6am and 11pm. If I didn’t have my dog I wouldn’t go out at all. As a shielded person it would be too risky.

OP THINKS her DC have had CV so Are not at risk from others. Great! 🙄

For a start, the OP didn't say that the woman was elderly, and secondly, how hard is it for the woman to see that there are people ahead of her on the path and to wait or slow down, rather than walking up to them and telling them off while she overtakes them?

How long does the parent expect someone to wait behind their child looking at butterflies/ladybirds/ or whatever?

How do you know the person wasn’t in a rush to get back to her poorly DH? You don’t!

Op , I agree with you 100 percent. Also the ridiculous comments here when you have said clearly that your dh pulled in with your 3 year old as far as he could. Also a child sitting on the grass, like seriously wtaf have we come to here..
I also find increasing anti-child attitudes on Mumsnet and yes I know plp can post here on gardening and other topics that interest them but presumably it was originally set up mainly for parents hence the name (I’m sure someone will predictably come on to argue that) so therefore it’s normal that a lot of people on this site like kids..
I have seen so many threads where the posters use the word “hate” when referring to kids or “other plps kids” which I just find vile. I honestly don’t hate anyone, certainly not a whole faction of society. It’s almost cool to jump on someone straight away “you shouldn’t be going anywhere with your kids” etc.
Many plp do not have gardens , many plp live in apartments , many people are single parents and have to take their kids with them shopping. They have as much right as anyone to be out. I’ve encountered the same issue, we are in a holiday home due to the fact that our own house was being renovated and is unlivable now. There is no internet (for homework), no garden , nowhere for the kids to play in this holiday let. Do I bring them out, absolutely. They have the same rights as other humans. I’ve always taken great care of keeping them away from others especially the elderly . The last day as we were crouched in a bush at the side of the road as we were keeping our distance from a dog walking couple (who make zero attempt to move to create a distance ) , I finally had enough.
Wtf should we always move , Fck them. We are not less then them. Adults and kids most likely have the same level of ability to pass this on virus. So from now on we will continue to keep our distance but no , I won’t be shoved over into the bushes.
It’s as much down to other plp to move ALSO to create that distance.

I refer back to my previous post, if the woman was in a rush, she could have called out from a safe distance to ask if they could hurry along. Walking up to them and telling them to move when the DH was already stood as far to the side as he could helps no one.

At risk of sounding naff, we are all in this together and the way through it is to find ways through problems, not to carry on as we please and shout at anyone who gets in our way.

“How long does the other person wait for the child to look at a butterfly “? Unless the person is disabled, can they walk around them? If they can’t then obviously the path must be tiny and the parent and child should move on. This crisis has brought out the absolute obscene in some people..

if the woman was in a rush, she could have called out from a safe distance to ask if they could hurry along

Maybe she did. Just because OP omitted the finer details doesn’t mean she didn’t. Why was a 3 year old allowed to take up a path when there was someone wanting to pass?

"all this namby pamby letting toddlers toddle in public places holding others up is annoying at the best of times* this is parodying the absolute bat shittery of some people's thinking isn't it? It's got to be!!

The woman had already walked past the three year old. The DH was waiting for the 3 year old to catch up.