People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

If you can't make sure your child is practising social distancing why are you taking him out to the nature preserve knowing this?

No you're not BU. People are fucking nuts now.

I don’t think any preschool child can reliably practice social distancing.
Are you seriously saying they should all be kept indoors for 6 weeks +. Or strapped in a buggy the whole time. This is exactly the horrible attitude I was talking about.

You have to ensure your child sticks to the rules.

Why didn't he call the 3 year old and then move on?

I don't know really. It took you long enough to get to the point - which from what I can make out is that your DH isn't managing to get the kids to socially didstance.

Perhaps he should take them out a bit later when there's less people around?

It’s tough. I think this is bringing out the worst in a lot of people through anxiety or suchlike. My 2 year old said “hello” to a woman in the park the other day, whilst holding my hand, well over 2m away from her and she screamed “no touching” at him. I understand people are stressed but I wish we could be less hostile to each other.

Maybe you shouldn’t go to a nature reserve in the middle of the day of your dcs can’t social distance. Why should other people have to stay away? My youngest wants to go out of her scooter, but she goes too fast and will probably go too near other people on the pavement, so we go out really early to a nearby car park that is empty at the moment. I won’t take her where she will go near others because that is not fair on them.

YANBU, a toddler sitting on the grass is going to have sod all consequences.

I've got a 3yo and haven't encountered that attitude at all. We go out for a walk every day and anyone we come across is nice and usually has a smile or a kind word for him.

Sorry not toddler but child!

I am not taking mine to the nature reserve where there are narrow paths precisely because the 3yo cannot keep his distance.
We stay home in the garden and house. We are lucky to have a (small) garden but are making obstacle courses, playing french cricket, boules, tag, stuck in the mud etc to make the most of it.
I'm sorry but if your child can't socially distance you take them somewhere where it doesn't matter, or keep them home. I know it's hard, but it's the rules.

We’re not going to start taking small kids out at 8pm. We’re trying to stick to some semblance of a routine for their sakes. Adults are different, they generally don’t need to go to bed at 7.30pm.

I'm with you...I'm finding it's the people who should be self isolating are the worst (here in ireland for the matter of fact!) They walk 2 a breast whereas my kids can get in a line.

People have gone crazy and they feel kids shouldn't be out (even though there the ones told to stay home, they feel everyone else should stay home!)

Considering this started as a parenting site,it’s full of child haters .
You will never get sympathy for parents or their children on here .
Surprised I haven’t see anyone use “little darlings” on this thread yet as part of a snarky reply.

If 2 vulnerable people have had to ask your husband to keep his kids away from them, maybe he should take them to run around a park?

They'd have more space there.

YANBU. There’s a horrible atmosphere at the moment. The risk of transmission outdoors walking 1m apart is surely very small. (Albeit increased by the woman talking to your DH, which she didn’t need to do.)

Well, old people also want to be outside in the middle of the day and there are children out and about all sorts of times durimg the day.. You need to keep your children close, ask themto hold the side od the buggy or hold your hand. "cutting kids some slack" could make someone else ill.

Has it ever crossed your mind that others done have to go out later to avoid your kids that you refuse to keep 2m away from people? Your self entitlement is astounding.

The truth is that some people are just angry and go through life looking for things to criticise and get irate about, and lockdown is a gift to those kind of people. They exist in all walks of life.

I also believe that if you are the one who is at high risk, then you have a responsibility to keep yourself safe. In that situation, if I were the other party I would have just waited at a safe distance until your husband and DC passed by or gone the other way, like I did when I walked my mum's nervous dog and saw people with dogs coming the other way. The onus isn't always on other people; sometimes you have to do something that inconveniences you, and there's no point in being angry or bitter or impatient about it. It's such a waste of energy. And if she walked past anyway she can't have been that worried about it!

I’m also keeping the kids in as I just can’t be bothered to deal with hysterical people leaping into hedges on walks. I’m tired of it all. I feel your pain OP.

Oh come on, no-one's hating children here - just trying to find a sensible solution.

One didn't want to pass too close because her husband had cancer and the OP said the other was vulnerable.

Everyone just needs to be sensible about this and try to find an easier way.

My son has sn and is super friendly , I've had to re train him not to be and it's so sad . He has not clue what is going on but I have managed to make him understand and often shout 'back up ' if he gets too close and he does .. it is hard but doable .

It’s so stressful for many people and it can bring on some tunnel vision. My kids are slightly older but even so, although they are careful and very aware of social distancing, they do make mistakes. You, and your dcs can (and should) only do your best; I am with you that if people are so concerned of getting the virus, they should take other precautions and cannot lay blame at a 3 yr old. That’s why the most vulnerable people are shielding and staying at home.
With 2 working parents and 3 kids under 7, you have enough on your plate, don’t let it get you down x

Why can’t the adults step aside for the children- if I’m walking with DD whos 2, and an adult is walking towards us, I expect them to step out of the way. If I’m walking by myself I step aside for those with dogs, buggy’s, the elderly- common decency apparently can’t be extended to children.

We have similar OP. I agree people are just being dicks. The kids are reasonably good at trying to keep out of peoples way but can forget and don’t always look ahead. I also run (alone) on the same country route and get tuts from old people who are scrambling into bushes to get 4 metres away from me but frequently have to stop to avoid families walking 3 across the path and dogs attached 10metre trip wires!
We went out in the rain this week - much better!!