People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

I haven’t had much of this when out walking with my 4yo - nothing verbal but people moving off or crossing to the other side of the street which thankfully my son didn’t notice. Here in Ireland in the first few weeks especially when the schools closed, there was a lot of talk of children being vectors of the disease which has led people to become more fearful of children. More recent evidence seems to be showing that children are not super spreaders. The social distancing advice here is 2 metres apart for no more than 15 minutes - passing someone in a matter of seconds where neither is sneezing or coughing is a very low risk situation. I feel like people don’t seem to be able to compute risk anymore. Unfortunately I do think there will be a psychological and developmental impact on today’s children

Once people are out whether they are vulnerable or not ,they cant expect full protection. They are expecting social distance from small children who can't fully understand . what about the virus if some one cough or sneezed before in the air. people mourning better stay at home or go early morning or late evening when its quiet.

The small children who are too young to fully understand will presumably be accompanied by their grownup parents. Who also appear not to fully understand... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hope you're ok OP. I do my best to keep mine socially distanced but we're having to force them into doing things in a completely unnatural way when they're only little.

They are expected to behave in a completely alien way to protect others for no benefit to them.

Yes this is what we are all doing at the moment, provided we aren't totally selfish and entitled. Most people won't get very sick from COVID19 but we're distancing to protect the vulnerable.

YANBU. People have become absolutely hysterical. Walking past someone is highly highly unlikely to have any consequences at all, unless of course they cough or sneeze directly in your face which would be considered gross even when COVID-19 wasn’t an issue.

As has been stated so many times, it is prolonged close contact of approx 15 mins or more that increases risk of transmission. I wish people would get a grip and stop living in such fear.

This situation is really difficult for everyone. I don't condone anyone snapping at children. But comments about others going out at different times doesn't really work.
We have been out 3 times in several weeks. We are actually quite concerned that our inability to get any fresh-air and exercise is quite a problem.

The first time there were young children running and cycling a good distance from their parents and very near to other people. (much more so than you are describing OP). The second time, we went out later to avoid this and found a very large group of teenagers hanging around smoking, at the one narrow space we couldn't pass without breathing their smoke. The third time we went out early, and it was dogs off leads running everywhere. Regardless of covid I don't want dogs running at me or jumping up and the owners weren't properly social-distancing as they had to go seperate the dogs who were wanting to be with the other dogs.
I don't know the answer to this but it is hard for everyone if you live somewhere busy with very few open spaces.

Yes this is what we are all doing at the moment, provided we aren't totally selfish and entitled... we're distancing to protect the vulnerable.

Yes, but you are a fully cognitively mature adult and therefore able to process this. Small children are not. If, as has been mooted, social distancing is to continue until a vaccine is found, that’s potentially two years of children being forced to behave in a way that they cannot understand and which will have a profound effect on the way their brains develop. It’s not the same.

Like some of the more sensible posters on here I'm shocked at how much nastiness this is bringing out in people on social media. Can those of you suggesting that the OP is the entitled one and suggesting any tiny child should be behaving impeccably whilst out not remember what it's like to be the parents of very small children? And how everything, especially when both parents work, is a constant struggle?

If you're terrified of getting cv to the extent that you genuinely believe a very young child (and their presumably exhausted parents) shouldn't be cut any slack then shielding would seem the best option. At least there's only a minute chance of a small child spreading CV within a metre or so of someone, but this hateful bile is becoming all too prevalent and I'd rather have to dodge tens of cheerful toddlers than see so many sour faces in the increasingly hysterical and intolerant world that many people seem to be content with creating - with so little self-awareness of what they're becoming.

Ugh. Hate threads like these where people pick on the parents of young kids. Go start your own kid hating forum and come out with your unrealistic expectations of children and parents there. We parents can't all be as perfect as people without children or parents way past child phase that have forgotten what having young children is like✌️

So you know personal responsibility works both ways.

This

Plus everyone I know who is shielding isn't going out or if they are avoiding busy places/times cause you know personal responsibility...

Op I agree that people need to give kids a break. Seems more and more like kids are treated like they have the plague. Seems like a majority of people would probably prefer it if they were locked up at home and not let out at all. But what's sad to me is that even people on this forum feel the same it seems 🤔

Thing is, kids have been off for a long time now and aren't mixing with other kids anymore. Any illness they might have had should be long gone by down by being in lockdown....so why do people still act like kids are full of bugs?! Now kids are not more likely to carry bugs than any adults!

Er, squiglet, most posters have young kids? 😂

Kid hating forum... 🤦‍♀️

But what's sad to me is that even people on this forum feel the same it seems

I just think some people have very empty lives & they are bitter. It makes them feel a teeny bit better if the make the OP feel like a shit parent.

I agree with you, Hottoddy. It strikes me some people have forgotten what it was like to be a child.

It sounds as though you and your husband have everything sorted for your family very efficiently, well done you. Let's hope this doesn't go on forever.

From what I'm reading it seems like most don't have kids!

Or friends I reckon 😆

😂

On a side note an adult on roller skates (not proficient in them) lurched unexpectedly round a corner at me today arms akimbo and very almost fell on top of me. Closest thing I’ve had to human contact in weeks sigh

YANBU

If someone is particularly concerned due to shielding, they are responsible for judging their route and time of day to minimise contact with others, not taking it out on young children who are just being young children.

You can be the most full-on, attentive parent ever, but young children need time to walk at their own pace and take in their surroundings. It is unreasonable to expect a young child to walk to heel like a professionally trained dog. Like every age group they are making huge sacrifices in their way of life with the added difficulties of not understanding why life is different, apparently gaining least statistical benefit, and at a potential cost of their development and education. Getting out into the real world is at least as important for young children in body and mind as it is for anyone else.

Walking ahead is a perfectly legitimate way to parent a child. Some need that as an incentive to catch up, and just don't move if you stay next to them.

Between naps, longer meals, early bedtimes, energy levels through the day and in this case working parents, young children are far less flexible at when they can go out to go at quieter times, and have a short range of what local is compared to most of the shielding population. Children are also not of a height to breathe into people's faces and being two or three feet shorter than adults pose less threat to the already low risk of virus transmission in an outdoors environment of fleeting proximity.

They are expected to behave in a completely alien way to protect others for no benefit to them

No benefit to them? So if it did benefit them, you'd make the effort to manage them but because it doesn't, you will let them run around?

You wouldn't be saying that if one of your kids got sick or was in the vulnerable group. Keep your children close to you so you can manage them. Do you think anybody wants to be in this situation. I have young children too and I wouldn't dream of taking them to a nature reserve and letting them run around. Such entitlement.

Better to stick to wide open spaces. There’s one narrow path in my park and I’ve already had to ask one ma man to kindly move out of the way, he looked at me like I had 2 heads. I just thanked him and walked on. Make life easier for yourself and take the kids to places where they have lots of space

Why is it kid hating to suggest that you take kids to wider spaces? We all have to make changes and that includes kids. I have kids and I think it’s not unreasonable to keep them away from narrow paths, for their protection too. This isn’t a joke - just follow the rules and let it go, this won’t last forever