People should give young kids a break?

[Hottoddy1]

So I work as a healthcare professional 3 days per week, husband has an office job he is now having to WFH 4 days per week. We have 3 kids age 6, 3 and 1. We’re now trying to work around having no childcare or grandparent help so I’ve switched to working 1 day in the weekend and husband does other day + working early mornings and late evenings. We have little family time due to this. It’s been tough and I had (swab confirmed because of my job) covid early April, quarantine period and straight back and am only just starting to feel energy levels return.
Anyway we live in a city but luckily near a big wood/nature reserve where one of us takes the kids every day. Although many people are nice and smile some people are really difficult and it’s getting me down. Minor examples are tutting at 6 year old sitting on the grass looking at ladybirds and asking my husband to “get your child away” Most of the people tutting are older and presumably in the vulnerable category.
Yesterday Dh was at an area where the path is relatively narrow and the 3 year old was lagging behind so he was waiting. A woman came past the 3 year old and he pulled the buggy into the side as much as he could but she asked him in an angry way to move on because her husband had cancer. She wouldn’t have had to walk right next to him but it would have been about 1.2 m distance I guess, not the full 2m. He politely pointed out he couldn’t leave the 3 year old and she huffed and puffed and then walked by.
I get that the women and other people are terribly stressed by this and it’s a horrible feeling. We have explained to the children and they try and the 6 year old is really very good. But you cannot expect kids to remember and follow all the rules all the time. If you really feel you are in terrible danger if a child comes within 2m of you why come to a nature reserve in the city in the middle of the afternoon? It’s light until 9.30pm around here; if I’ve been working I often pop out for some air at 8pm and it’s quiet, just one or two dog walkers who as adults are fully able to social distance. It’s shit for little kids this, my 3 year old was in tears when I left for work as he’s worried I’ll get “the virus” he picks up on a lot but doesn’t really understand it so it’s tricky to explain stuff, people ostensibly dashing away from him doesn’t help. So if you’re vulnerable, you have my sympathy but AIBU to say in the middle of the day, give the kids some space and cut us a bit of slack.

@Amanduh I think by “hasn’t changed our behavior” the op means the family are continuing to practice social distancing rather than act as if they have had it and are therefore now immune/don’t need to. In other words behave responsibly...

And op, I agree. When out with my child people have been kind on the whole. When out by myself if I see a small child I take responsibility for maintaining distance rather than expecting them to jump out of my way.

Thisismytimetoshine if you are so on edge that you scream at a 6 yr old on the grass then I suggest you change your behaviour to limit the chances of encountering people.

Phifedean

"Get him away"

Virus or no virus I would give anybody short shrift if they spoke to me or my toddler like that.

Being anxious or scared is no excuse. These people shouldn't go out or should to go guaranteed empty spaces if they can't cope with a toddler wandering along 2m away!!!!

Anyone who is in a vulnerable category has been told to stay in doors at all times - they should not be out. They are putting themselves at risk.

OP some people have lost all sense of patience and compassion. When I go out with my young DC sometimes we wait for other people and sometimes they wait for us - whichever is the most natural. Hope your DC aren't too upset.

Oh, good lord.
OP, there are some harpies on here. Sorry about that
I'm reminded of Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" skit on Saturday Night Live years ago.
I'm picturing of her screwing up her mouth and saying primly, "Well, is that a small child examining ladybugs on the grass? Or could it be satan?"

The 3 year old had fallen a few metres behind yes. So woman overtook but then had to pass DH on narrow (but not very narrow) bit of path. He said he pulled the buggy right in and I believe him, he’s not an asshole. DH has been doing more of the daily walks because I’ve been working extra and very tired but the incident with the tutting at my child squatting on the grass to look at ladybirds was with me. Anyway I’m off to bed now, I should emphasise this is only a few people like I said many are nice.

Oh how awful your children acted like children! If they are vulnerable they should stay home or simply walk behind you until safe to pass.

Standing to one side, leaving over a metre space is hardly blocking a path. Two metres is only a guide, it's not always possible.

I honestly think that people out with kids ought to have them under control at the moment.

That said, your child sitting looking at daisies really isn’t a problem, and I’m not sure about the 2 metre science anyway.

I walk a lot. Some people don’t seem capable of ‘single file’ and that’s the adults.

It’s really hard for kids at the moment. They’re just being kids.

YANBU OP. Fear is doing horrible things to people at the moment, especially where children are concerned. The media narrative is of children and young people as germ-ridden ‘super spreaders’ and all the natural behaviours of childhood curiosity - touching, exploring, lingering to look at things - are now seen as dangerous and deviant. As for MN, there are a disturbing number of people on this ‘parenting’ site who seem to fear and despise children.

Amazed at the number of people who seem to think keeping young children indoors indefinitely is fine. DD is 2. DP and I do our utmost to stick to the ‘rules’, visiting fairly quiet places (as quiet as you can get in suburban London!) and ensuring she’s a sensible distance away from others but social distancing is an entirely alien (and actually quite harmful) behaviour for toddlers, and I refuse to keep her cooped up indefinitely without exercise because she may accidentally swerve into the path of an oncoming pedestrian.

We haven’t had anything as extreme as OP’s example but I have been asked twice now by older park walkers why DD is out at all, as if she is somehow less entitled to use our open spaces than they are.

My kids have hated going on walks because of this people are horrible now I totally agree with you ,as for ones on this saying keep your children at home I'm sure they're sitting at home Every day with their children,not !

Common sense tells you at this time to keep young children next to you when on a narrow path to protect the child from others getting to close. Apparantly some parents don't have this common sense. The fact tne other person has cancer is irrelevant. The dad should not have let his 3 year old dawdle so far behind on a narrow path that other people could get in between them

The truth is that some people are just angry and go through life looking for things to criticise and get irate about, and lockdown is a gift to those kind of people. They exist in all walks of life

I also believe that if you are the one who is at high risk, then you have a responsibility to keep yourself safe

Totally agree with this. There are slot of very nasty people around who apparently seem to demand respect for themselves yet don’t offer it to others. Horrid hypocrites and generally nasty people. I’m just glad I’m not one of them. I get people are scared - we all are but you can still be civil to people. There is no need to be nasty. You get back what you give out I believe so next time someone is nasty to them they will have zero room to complain.

A lot

I'm loving all the "the old crocks need to stay indoors so the children can run amok behave like CHILDREN!!" shite.
Get a grip of yourselves.

It's a bit of both. Your DH may have been technically in the right, but these days it is polite to make other people feel you're concerned for their wellbeing. So he should not have let your toddler fall behind by as much as a few metres,

But, broadly, yes, people have to be sensible. Going down a narrow path when someone else is there is one of those tricky things. If she was really worried, she should have gone back.

Honestly, people have entirely lost their sense of perspective. The risks of catching anything, let alone COVID from passing a toddler in a park are off the charts minuscule.

I am honestly worried about what will become of society, people just don’t seem to be able to apply any sort of rational thought anymore. Every week that goes past it gets more and more ridiculous.

Some people are dicks OP, and this situation is really bringing it out into the open, it’s them not you. I’m glad you’re feeling better and I hope work calms down for you a bit soon.

No @Thisismytimetoshine the people in the shielding groups (young and old) have been advised to stay indoors because it is, unfortunately, impossible to guarantee keeping a safe distance from others at all times when outside. It is hugely difficult for anyone to do this I agree. It is also hugely difficult for children at this time as well.

Goodness know what’s going to happen when lockdown is relaxed and people are told to resume their normal business - are people going to be leaping into hedges and stepping into roads to avoid children indefinitely? Because in terms of risk, the virus isn’t going anywhere fast, and children have just as much right as anyone else to be on our streets and in our parks.

This

Thisismytimetoshine

Parents of young children aren’t telling old people to stay indoors. The government is:

If you're over 70 or have existing health conditions, where possible, see if friends neighbours or family can pick up prescriptions and food for you and exercise inside the house.

No you're not BU. People are fucking nuts now

This.

FFS, passing someone on a path for a couple of seconds is very low risk! 2m is the ideal, but in some situations is not possible.
If she was that worried, she could have stopped and waited for your husband and child to move on before she overtook.

However, if her husband has cancer, she is probably extremely worried and on edge, so I wouldn't give it any more thought.

If you really can't do social distancing at the nature reserve with your kids take them somewhere you can. This is nothing about giving kids a break and everything about adults wanting their own way, having absolutely no consideration for others who are trying to follow the guidelines because they feel vulnerable.

Everyone is responsible for their own health and well-being at the moment. Everyone.

We all have the guidelines and advice and rules regarding social distancing.

Vulnerable groups shouldn't be out at all. That's the official advice.

Gone to a nature reserve with small paths and come across other people and can't maintain a safe distance? That's your lookout! Either hang back until the kids have been gathered and they move on. Or walk past quickly don't stop and stay as far apart as you can. Don't bitch and moan and snap at people.

If someone isn't following guidelines or seems to be getting too close, just remove yourself from the situation. You can't argue with stupid people and it's not worth the hassle.

I agree it is really hard with young kids. That is why we walk around and around in a car park rather than trying to keep the kids socially distanced in a green space.

Honestly people need to just stop and wait sometimes and we need to help each other out.

Actually near me I've not really had any issues, people generally sensible and kind. I find it a bit stressful but you just have to do what you can. Seems generally you need to be close to people for an amount of time to pass it.

We have a few footpaths round here that are narrow and so you can't distance, you just have to do your best or avoid those paths if you're very anxious.