To be raging with my parents?

[Forgetcourgettes]

And so disappointed ☹️

My dad has cancer and has been told that he needs surgery in 2 weeks. Hospital has said it’s a ‘very, very serious’ operation.

Parents are both 70 and yet they say that lockdown is going to be eased this week so they are trying to get back to normal.

The had my mums sisters over, apparently it was ok as they sat on opposite sides of the room.
Will be looking after my sister’s kids as my sister is working from home but my nephews are too loud to give her peace.
Parents are going to the garden centre and to deliver items that they sell to customers.

Every conversation ends in me getting so cross. Why are they risking my dad getting ill when he has to face major surgery? He is supposed to be shielding and has a long list of chronic health problems as well as the cancer.

I keep trying to tell them that the rules apply to the,, they aren’t special or unique.

Also annoyed with my sister for pushing her children onto them but at the same time my mum is happy as she is ‘lonely’.

Do I keep on telling them or let them get on with it?

I’m just so annoyed that they can’t see the danger they are putting everyone else in as well as themselves.

@TinRoofRusty. A friend was tested on arrival, but not informed until after she left (2 days later) that her test was positive. She's so upset as she'd tried to isolate (but her DH was going out to work, but changing & showering as soon as he got home) and she is SO worried she had passed it on the hospital staff. Another friends mum has already been tested for an operation she's not having until Wednesday. Between Thursday last week & Wednesday this week she could have contracted it & they won't be testing her again before she goes in. So the testing system is far from perfect!

@AmelieTaylor you can not dictate what other adults do with their lives. Ranting and raving and falling out with your family will not change the situation.

Just because I think adults should be responsible for their own decisions does not mean I agree with them, but it's still their choice to make. We are each responsible for our own actions.

The OP has said that she has told them her views and they have chosen to ignore her. Presumably they, like thousands of others, have their reasons. Their reasons aren't any less valid because they are 70.

I remember another MN thread saying that "cocooning" was not enforced in Ireland, only advisory & voluntary, no financial penalties.

@justforthisnow, are you saying that there are criminal or financial penalties for those who are recommended but refuse to cocoon in Ireland? Can you link to explain the penalties?

Where I am from, "Live and Let Live" is considered a good life philosophy. I have to respectfully disagree with you on that one.

www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0408/1129218-coronavirus-legislation/
You can disagree with me as much as you like, but honestly, disagreeing with public health measures and laws? Why?

www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0408/1129218-coronavirus-legislation/

If my Dad was that ill, I wouldn't be wasting any time getting angry about this

Personally I would much rather die of coronavirus than cancer. We aren't usually offered a choice.

I'm normally very accepting of there's different attitudes depending on where you're from and I'm not one to judge because most people make the best decision based on the info they have. But the ignorance shown here screamed 'fuck you Paddys,we do what we want'.

We take it seriously and some(NOT ALL) people in the UK seem to be determined to work around the advice for jollies rather than actually think about the consequences.

I'm not talking about everyone, I'm talking about those pp who think it's hilarious to take the piss and knowing infect us when we're doing everything to stop this killing us and our most vulnerable.

FFS OP is obviously scared for her parents lives because her sister doesn't give a shit, she's entitled to be bloody angry, scared and upset. Any of us who understand and appreciate the seriousness of the situation get it. Those of us who have experienced it are trying to stop others knowing the full horror with gory details but trying to spare them the experience. What is so complicated about that?

I had that last post of mine in paragraphs before I posted

Looking forward, your dad is having an op in 2wks, do you have any idea how long he is expected to be there? Will he be bedbound for a while when he gets home? I ask as it's likely your mum will have a FT job on her hands caring for your dad. What will your sister be doing about the DC? Will she expect mum to still have them? Will she expect you to have them? I would suggest finding out what her intentions are.

This is the UK, just. It's irrelevant what other places are doing if you don't live there.

From the Irish Times.

but that was published weeks after Irish Lockdown started, so I guess Irish govt was happy to let a myth keep going otherwise, until then.

This is why UK coronavirus deaths are amongst worst in Europe. Covidiots. Mumsnet is full of them. People who can't wait to get their kids back to school and get their normal lives back. Zero understanding of how pandemics work.

No it isn’t. It’s because we didn’t close our borders, didn’t lock down soon enough, completely failed to test until nearly a month in and generally pissed about even though there was ample time to prepare. It’s not because a very sick man chose to see his grandchildren.

Blame our shit shower of a government for not understanding how pandemics work and deciding “herd immunity” was a good idea.

Exactly @Alsohuman. The general public are not to blame (on the whole) for their own deaths ffs.

The government had PLENTY of time to see what was happening and put measures into place. Sadly we are run by a govt that prioritises the economy over the people.

People saying "their lives, their choices", you are aware that this is a contagious disease, right? And that if the OPs dad needs surgery that doesn't only mean he might be weakened by coronavirus, it also means he will be adding to the viral overload of the surgeon, the anaesthetist, the nurses and the hospital porter? And that those people are dying in rather high numbers.

Young children are losing their parents, pregnant women are dying because of exposure at work.

During a pandemic "your life, your choice" only really applies if you intend to die alone and cremate yourself so as not to risk the life of the paramedic and the undertaker. Otherwise, other people's lives are in your hands. And that means not only the patient but anyone who has to risk their lives caring for the patient.

And yes, I totally blame the shit show of a government. And I have an old father I will probably never see again. And I love him. Does that give me the right to go and put other people's lives at risk because "what the hell, I will do as I like"? No, it doesn't.

And anyone who thinks dying from corona is a gentle painless death hasn't been paying attention.

@Bobleywobley, no it isn't. It's because we didn't give early oxygen support and left many to just die. All of the scores to take people to hospital and for treatment/intervention were put up higher, so there was no going back by the time they saw a medical professional.

Read the government statement on Gov.com on the 4th March. They clearly state that they were looking to contain this. But then allowed free movement and events for another two weeks.

corythatwas, the surgical staff will be well protected. Testing is happening for surgical admissions.

corythatwas, the pregnant nurse who died caught it from her Father, or an outside source. She hadn't been in work.

We need to stop repeating false information. This needed the response that it got, but the death rate is 1%. We can't expect whole groups of people to stay in until they die, without contact with family. There won't be suitable vaccines for the vulnerable and herd immunity will take at least 18 months.

@Ponoka7

We need to stop repeating false information.

The absolute cheek of you posting that when you’re also stating that children under 10 can transmit the virus. 😂😂😂

You’d be dangerous if you had more than one brain cell.

@Ponoka7 where are you getting a death rate of 1% from?

@HopeYouStepOnALego
Your DM will certainly not be put on a ventilator at 83 as a clinical decision as she woud not withstand the trauma

OP I wauld rage at your sister but not your parents.
Ask your parents if they have been asked to isolate for 2 weeks prior to surgery as I am SURE they will have been

Jammydodger1981 is there now consensus on the ability of under 10s to transmit/ not transmit? There were so many conflicting papers last week.

her sister doesnt give a shit

Or maybe her sister has decided to respect the choices her elderly parents have made in the face of her dad's operation. Knowing that they are aware of the risks.

Even though they may have made choices that she wouldn't have in their situation.

Maybe she doesn't want to sour what could be her last few weeks with her dad by pulling some of the stunts pp have suggested. Emotional blackmail, guilt tripping.