Non resident parents don't like paying child support do they?

[Moomin8]

Or is that just my experience?

My ex husband paid maintenance after we split at the rate suggested by his solicitor. One day he suddenly stopped because he wanted to pay his credit cards off and he also felt he was paying too much. I contacted the CSA (at the time) and he ignored them and ended up doing a deduction of earnings order. And they figured out that he owed more not less. A few years later he had a big pay rise, did not tell them so he managed to under pay me for years.

Now, my baby's dad who I don't live with had said to me before she was born that he'd use the government website to work it out & I said fine.

Then about 2 months ago he suddenly decided to halve it, apparently because he didn't get any commission that month. I've never seen his payslips so I've trusted him to be honest.

I suggested we ask the CMS to calculate it because that's fair and he hit the roof. Has been absolutely vile to me in messages and has now blocked me.

He has not lost his job or been furloughed had recently decided to buy our daughter a £500 number plate for her car which I argued she doesn't actually need right now but she does need clothes and formula etc!

What do you think is your fault?

I don't know. I feel incredibly confused.

Are you together or apart?

It sounds like you have spit up in which case he is legally obligated to pay maintenance at the CMS minimum.

As far as contact goes if you can't agree regular arrangements that work for you and baby he will have to ask you to go to mediation to sort it out, then ultimately court if you still can't sort it.

Its not just the blokes though;I know a couple of single dads raising the kids and the mums don't want to pay either.

My brother is 8 and my brother split from my ex sister in law when my niece was 18months old.He's paid CM for my niece from his first monthly pay packet after they split right up until March.He's paid his ex on the day he gets paid via standing order,he's never missed a payment.

Last month he didn't receive a pay packet as his work has temporarily laid everybody off so he borrowed money from my DP to pay CM.

My ex SIL however likes to paint him as a villain because according to her he doesn't do enough for their daughter (he has her on his days off from work and always pays CM) and yet her husband who's a decade older than her has 4 other kids by 3 different women and is NC with all of them and apparently doesn't pay CM for them.

The ex SIL has popped out a kid with this dickhead.Good luck to her if they split.

It does sometimes happen that the dad is left raising the kids. But on balance it's less usual. I had a friend and school who was being brought up by her dad. Their mother had run off to the circus and according to my friend was always buying stuff for herself, but evidently didn't want to provide for the children she'd helped create. This was the 80s so particularly horrible for them :(