To do some of DDs schoolwork for her?

[NotJustStories]

She's 10. Finding this whole thing really difficult.

Her work online has just been clogging up and she's well behind. We keep getting reminders sent out.

She's stressed. Crying everyday.

AIBU to do the stuff online that is not identifying, no handwriting etc.. Just to ease the load a little and help her get back on track.

The teacher says she needs to do the items.

It's around 60 activities (we didn't realise they were being uploaded for weeks!)

Just start on Monday with the new tasks. Tell the teacher that’s what you’re going to do. If it all gets too much then let the teacher know again that there’s too much for your daughter. It doesn’t matter if everyone else is managing to do it. 10 year old students should be happy. A couple of hours a day should be plenty of work to do given the situation. Everything else should be about staying happy and making the most of the time together. Don’t be told that she’ll fall behind. There’s plenty of time for her to catch up over the next 8 years worth of education.
Keep a happy family and do what you need to do to make that happen.

No don't do her work for her.That sends entirely the wrong message. Contact the teacher, explain the situation and that your DD is not coping and ask what the most important things to do are, and just focus on them. Ignore the rest of it.

These are strange times we are living in. Protect your daughter's mental health. When push comes to shove, they can't legally make you home school anyway.

You doing her work for her is simply pointless.

Talk to the teacher and come to some sort of compromise.

Stop molly coddling you’re kids!!

Your

How do you know it wasn't a missing comma?

Stop molly coddling, you're kids!!

Just do 2 extra a day as homework 7 days a week and it will be done in a month. But you can make it easier by going through it with her and promoting answers and filling it in so it doesn’t take as long as normally answering if there’s similar work to what she’s already completed then just verbally ask her.

For those saying she’s struggling, she’s not because she’s not been doing it!!
Stop molly coddling you’re kids!!

FFS, the kid is struggling
She is struggling with her world being taken away, friends, school, everything.
Struggling with a whole new way of schooling, that simply is NOT suited to many kids.
Struggling with now a backlog and what seems unrealistic expectations from the school.
OF COURSE the kid is struggling, this is not normal for anyone

I wouldnt make dd do the backlog and clear it one night with BS answers of 0 abc or N/A for her
Start fresh monday but only do as much as dd is cmfortable with. Why add extra stress to an already shit situation, which long term could make her hate school even more

Id be telling the teacher since it school at my house, its my rules.
Its their rules once DD is back on school grounds

Personally I wouldn't care very much about school work. I wouldn't get upset over it at all. Sounds excessive and unnecessary.
Pick a few things to do everyday and that's it. Not worth the tears at all.
We are trying to survive a world pandemia. Concentrate on reading if she likes that or a bit of maths but that's it.
Is she year 5 or 6?

60 items will seem like a huge hill to climb to her, so I am not surprised she is stressed out.

Break them down into weekly/daily targets so she feels she has achieved something when she meets the target. To catch up the target will need to be a bit more challenging than what they are currently giving out, maybe do a couple of hours at the weekends too.

Speak to the teacher and tell her that is the plan and to stop pressing her as it is stressing her out.

Don't do it for her.

T

Two children of 11 and 10 here. My 10 year old has Sen. They’re both very stressed. School learning is 6 hours a day each with 5 or 6 documents needing to be opened at a time, video input plus two 40 slide powerpoints for English alone. I’m working, my husband is working and our 7 year old I’m trying to manage as he has complex Sen. It’s an absolute nightmare.

Can’t you just add 2 activities per day to the 5 being sent out to clear all of the missed work? That’s 10 activities a week she’d be catching up with (more if you did 2 a day at the weekend also), she’d be done with them in 4-6 weeks.

Teach her to manage a seemingly impossible task, show her what prioritising entails, explain the feeling of achievement she’ll have at the end knowing she completed it all by herself.

For those catastophising, her world has not disappeared, her mental health will not crumble for the sake of adding some additional school activities to her day. Just stop, it’s becoming laughable.

There is absolutely no point you doing her homework, what will she actually learn if you do it?

I would talk to the school again. Ask which bits are the most important, as PP have said some of the work may be scaffolding, so you should do the earlier pieces before you do the next stage. This will probably apply for subjects like Maths. Other bits of homework maybe filler type stuff, so not so important. How long will each piece of work take?

I would then work through it slowly with DD, after making a plan, timetable.

You say she is bored, but schoolwork will give her something to do.

I am amazed how you managed to not see 60 pieces of homework being sent to you.

We haven't been uoading things. I hate working with computers, I spend more time trying to figure out how to work them than the kids spend actually doing the work. That is stressing me out the most. Give me work sheets etc and my kids would be flying through their work.
We were doing well with homeschooling before they started giving out work from school. The eldest isn't too bad. The youngest seems to be log on to a different website to do every activity, which I feel is just a bit lazy on the teachers part.

Start afresh from Monday, plus one backlog task per day. Do sit and work with her to get her started (if your own work allows) and offer to help / type for her etc to make it a bit faster. Give lots a praise & positive feedback for what she's doing.

@NotJustStories start afresh on Monday but make it very clear she needs to do all the tasks from now on

My eldest has not done any of the online tasks. They’re mostly tests and are too hard for him without me spoon feeding him the answers. So I’m setting my own work, that he’s doing in exercise books. I’ve contacted his school and they’ve said that’s absolutely fine. I must be doing something right as I tested his reading age on the first day of ‘school’ and again yesterday and in 6 weeks he’s improved by well over a year’s worth of progress. He wants to be in front of screens constantly when he’s not doing work so I don’t really want all of his work time to be screen based too. It’s working for us and he’ll have loads of written work to take back to school as and when.

Just tell the teacher that you weren’t aware of the backlog and she won’t be doing it.

But you will do all the work from Monday

I would just send a brief email " dear teacher, sorry DD has previously missed so much work, entirely my fault. Obviously there's a huge backlog now which would take far too long to complete but I will make sure all new tasks from Monday are completed on time."

Teacher here. As others have said, contact teacher on Monday, explain the situation and tell teacher you will be starting from scratch so the backlog will not be done.
Do NOT do your DDs work for her.

I don’t mean this to sound critical but - how was it that you didn’t realise work was being set? How is it set? Via email? Did you think the school had left them to their own devices completely? We have a daily email from the teacher and a weekly email from the head where she always reiterates that mental health is a priority and to let them know if the work is too much.

Either way it’s not your DDs fault so just tell her you’ll do the work set from Monday. Everyone will be coming in from completely different starting points in September (or whenever) so any catching up should be done then anyway.

PinkyU she's being set 5 activities per day. Depending upon what they are that maybe intended as 5x 45 minutes (which will take some children 5 X 30 minutes, but others 5x 60 minutes or a lot longer).

I do think that the OP needs to find out, but looking through all the work or asking the teacher, which pieces in the backlog are actually important and which are further practice or busy work, is important. Probably only 6 or 8 pieces from the backlog actually need doing

I have to constantly supervise and actively teach my 9 year old to get him through the set work, no matter how much anyone claims the teachers are magically teaching by emailing text book page references and worksheets and links to YouTube out. My teen can learn like that but my 9 year old can't, nor can he focus on extended tasks if left in a room alone. He's not a naughty child but a daydreamer and in the middle of being assessed for dyslexia. Loads of children are similar. Making sure he gets through his homeschooling work (he gets 6 tasks per day set, one per timetable lesson) requires 20 focussed hours a week of my time and takes him to the limits of his concentration. Tackling backlog wouldn't be realistic as like most people I also work and have other children.

The backlog needs pairing back to whatever is it's essential core skills or content wise NotJustStories .

Absolutely do it! Or let the school know it’s too much. I’ve been a primary school teacher for over 20 years & I honestly think at this time in our lives, mental health is far more important than doing that amount of school work. Life is precious & to spend time crying over work at the age of 10 is awful.

Don’t sweat it OP.
The teacher and school are piling on the pressure and it’s completely ridiculous.

She’s only 10 yrs old , not year 10!

OP, if she’s stressed, crying and upset, just stop doing it. Have a complete break.
Don’t do it yourself otherwise the teachers won’t realise that this is causing problems. This level of pressure clearly isn’t good for her mental health.

Not every primary school views completing school work at home in the same way. Our school is quite academic and normally sets daily homework from junior infants onwards but they realise that trying to replicate school at home Just won’t work.

This was an email we received from our Primary school headteacher at the beginning of April...

Good Morning,

For those of you that are finding homeschooling a challenge, you are not alone.

We are all scared and worried by what we are hearing and seeing happening around us. We miss our friends and are heart broken that we cannot visit and cuddle our grandparents.
Arguing about getting the school work for teacher done or keeping to a idealistic timetable suggested on the school's facebook page is the last thing anyone needs right now.

Some days, if you manage to get a little schoolwork done, that would be great. If it's ending in tears then instead you could cuddle up together and read, read read. Take turns reading to each other or read a favourite novel from your childhood to them.
Get out in the garden and kick some footballs. Get the children helping out around the house cooking, baking, matching the odd socks. Do a puzzle, play with play dough or get out the lego and build together. Look at old family photographs. Face time or telephone their grandparents.

Do anything you enjoy doing together.

When we are back in school we will be there to help them catch up on their school work so do not let that be one of your worries today.

In the midst of all this madness, we have been given an unexpected gift of time at home together and this could very well be the time our children remember as the best time in their life.

I pray you are all keeping safe and well.

———————————-
———————————-

This email was sent as a follow up a couple of weeks later...

Dear Parents,

During challenging times, it’s more important than ever to look after your child’s well-being. The attached journal is designed to help children to enhance their mental well-being through a range of different activities. Most of the topics, such as positivity, gratitude, kindness, bravery, creativity and self-kindness are drawn from the field of Positive Psychology, which is the science of well-being. There are also activities based on dealing with worries and coping with change. The journal is based on Weaving Well-Being - an SPHE programme which your child has been doing in school.

kind regards......

www.weavingwellbeing.com

If you do it for her, how is her teacher ever to know she isn't keeping up with the rest of the class, and is struggling and upset? Thast's not in her best interest.

Just contact the teacher and come clean.

It sounds like she's coping fine with the work she's been set and the rate at which is coming in, it's just that she's overwhelmed by the older work which had accumulated at the start. I know this feeling well, particularly with household tasks - the more housework that needs to be done, the more reluctant I am to do any of it. [looks around at surrounding pig sty]

The best thing to do is to hide the backlog from her. If she has managed the five daily tasks in good time then slip and extra one in. Start with the easy and/or fun ones so that it doesn't seem so bad. Maybe do the odd one on a Saturday morning.

If you chuck a frog into a pot of boiling water it will try to jump straight out. If, on the other hand, you chuck the frog into a pot of cold water and gradually heat it up, it will sit there blissfully unaware until it is cooked.