To think my husband is being a cunt

[SoCockneyItHurts]

I can't actually believe how well we've been getting on during lockdown. Really close, really loving eachother etc. But tonight my mum calls and he's turned into a total cunt. Kept playing Chas and Dave on his phone.....the song about "you don't stop talking". Making me having to speak to my lovely mum a few decibels louder. She was only showing concern for me and my mental health yet my husband believes she did called purpose to stop us watching a programme we like!!!! Literally wtf.....so not true! I love my mum so very very much and I balled my eyes out when I got off the phone to the point I was hyperventilating, but was totally ignored by my husband. So so so sad tonight

You've been together 24 years but you've only just started to get on during lockdown. Hmmmm I think there are big problems within your relationship.

This sounds a bit like everyone was drunk to me, what with his cuntiness and your hyperventilating.

Nevertheless, I say LTB.

I bet there is a whole lot more to this. He hates you're mum, is not close to your family and you're really surprised how well you had been getting on through lockdown. He's also capable of going completely cold on you when you're upset. The fact that you've only really got on during lockdown (when he's had you all to yourself) and that he goes into cunt mode when somebody interrupts that is extremely telling.

his family not your family

Are you getting on better during lockdown because you don't have the option to see other people so he can relax his efforts to isolate you?

A reasonable adult who was miffed that you had prioritised your phone call over plans you'd made together would just wait and speak to you about it later.

His behaviour was childish, nasty and sounds very much like a way to punish you and your mother for having a supportive relationship. You need to think carefully about whether he is abusive in other ways and you've just become accustomed to it so haven't realised what he's doing to you.

He was very rude.

You say no good reason.

What is his reason?

If the programme could not be paused, why did you not leave the room?
I think he was a dick but I also think you could have eased the situation given you had a choice to answer & stay in room given after 24 yrs you know what he is like.
Is your mum nice to him or are the feelings mutual ?

Were you both drunk?

Too many drinks by the sounds of it!

Yep total cunt. Disrespecting someone’s parents is the height of rudeness. My Brother in law does it to my Mum occasionally and it disgusts me. The fact my Sister lets him is even worse. I don’t believe a real man would ever ever do this. Only angry, nasty little bastards do this.

Yes obviously he was being a cunt but you haven't answered if you left the room or not to take the call.....

If he loved you, he would be respectful and grateful to anyone who also shows you love- especially your mum. He needs to sort out his confidence issues and you need to realise you are worth more. His behaviour was abusive.

Yes I did leave the room but the call was so long that I wanted to sit down again on the sofa which is when he started playing the song on his phone. Yes we were drinking and I stupidly took screen shots of your replies and WhatsApped them to him!! He's not talking to me at all.

I would have taken the call in a different room but he was very very rude,
Please dont use that language, it makes it harder for me to sympathise

I’d lay off the booze

Reading your latest post I think you are both now behaving badly

If you have kids I hope they’re grown up and gone. I’d say the atmosphere in your house is horrible.

Maybe you could have continued the call in the bedroom. Its done now. You both need to apologise and lay off drinking.

Hopefully no kids involved in this.

So he's only been lovely because all's well in his world - he seems to see you as some sort of toy to entertain him then, and is just pleased you don't have a life outside of him at the moment?

If no kids, I'd stick a metaphorical fork up his ass by decamping to your mum's for the rest of the lockdown.

Nice sabotage there OP! You post about him bring a cunt, get advice and support and validity of him being a cunt. Posters point out that his behaviour is abusive and controlling and that you’d do well to access the Freedom Program - and you know MN would be supportive if you chose to stand up for yourself and kick this cunt to the curb, and would be a “safe space” to post, to rant, to get support - but you’ve chosen to tell him you’ve posted here. No doubt he’s currently trawling through your previous posts, looking for ammunition to hurl at you during your next argument.

First rule of posting about a cunt on Mumsnet - don’t tell the cunt you’ve posted on Mumsnet!!

Together 24 years.
He behaved childishly.
You behaved like a drama queen.
You were both drinking.
You’ve sent him screenshots of this thread.

Oh dear, oh dear.

You both sound very childish.

I honestly thought you were about 20 and a bit young for your age but you’ve been with him 24 years! So many questions! Has he always been like this? Why are you with him? Why does he hate your mum? Do you normally cry so much you hyperventilate during arguments? What did you think screenshotting him mumsnet commentd was going to achieve?

Honestly what he did was silly and rude. But talking on the phone when someone is watching tv is also thoughtless. Sounds like he was giving you a hint to finish your call elsewhere, and you decided to hyperventilate in response? Both of you need to pull your heads out of your arse and stop drinking. He needs to not wind you up and you need to stop being so dramatic. Negativity feeds negativity.

Why didn't you just stay out of the room until you were done on the phone?

YABU for multiple reasons:

a) not leaving and staying out of the room for the duration of the call

b) leaving out the massive backstory of exactly why he doesn’t like your mum

c) overreacting and acting like a child with all the “balling your eyes out” and “hyperventilating” over an argument