Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my husband is being a cunt

108 replies

SoCockneyItHurts · 01/05/2020 22:09

I can't actually believe how well we've been getting on during lockdown. Really close, really loving eachother etc. But tonight my mum calls and he's turned into a total cunt. Kept playing Chas and Dave on his phone.....the song about "you don't stop talking". Making me having to speak to my lovely mum a few decibels louder. She was only showing concern for me and my mental health yet my husband believes she did called purpose to stop us watching a programme we like!!!! Literally wtf.....so not true! I love my mum so very very much and I balled my eyes out when I got off the phone to the point I was hyperventilating, but was totally ignored by my husband. So so so sad tonight

OP posts:
MrsZlatan · 01/05/2020 23:18

Chas N Dave ? Was he making a TikTok video !?

Nanny0gg · 01/05/2020 23:22

24 years?? I thought you were going to say 18 months tops!

Weird reactions from both of you. Has it always been like this?

AcrossthePond55 · 01/05/2020 23:25

You've been married for 24 years, has he always hated your mum?

What he did was rude to you, but it's hard to know if it was unreasonable without knowing the backstory of your DH and your mum.

You say there's 'no reason' for him to hate her, but it's actually pretty rare that someone simply 'hates' another person for no reason. It may not be a valid reason, but there's usually a reason.

GabsAlot · 01/05/2020 23:26

my dh doesnt speak to my dad but he wouldnt act a prat while i was on the phone

tbh id either ask him to pause the program or call her back

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/05/2020 23:28

If the programme she disturbed was Friday Night Dinner then we would all be annoyed if someone called during it and made us wait to start it.

If that makes us all cunts then so be it.

Crunchymum · 01/05/2020 23:38

Chas N Dave sounds perfect for a Cockney!! See OP's user name!!

Bananalanacake · 01/05/2020 23:47

What's he like when you speak to friends on the phone. Is he happy for you to socialise without him.

thepeopleversuswork · 01/05/2020 23:51

All these people saying you should have taken the call elsewhere: where the fuck is your self respect?

The OP talks to her mum on the phone - who she presumably hasn’t seen for weeks - and this twat is jeering at them? I pity all of you if that’s what you consider an acceptable standard of behaviour from a partner.

He sounds a thick, egotistical and unfunny little twerp and how dare he speak to or about you and your mother like that.

Does he behave like this a lot?

PinkiOcelot · 01/05/2020 23:56

@thepeople I haven’t seen anyone say it was reasonable. What are you reading?!

BackseatCookers · 02/05/2020 00:42

He really really hates my mum for no good reason

You've been with someone for a quarter of a century despite them really hating your mum.

And not just that but really hating your mum for no good reason?!

How could you marry someone who felt that way? And stay with them?

I don't get it

Runkle · 02/05/2020 00:48

Have you had a few drinks? Sorry but this sounds like a major overreaction.

Cherrysoup · 02/05/2020 00:52

Why didn’t you just move rooms?

Josette77 · 02/05/2020 01:23

Why didn't you leave the room?

Crying and hyperventilating seems extreme. You're been with him for 24 years and he has hated your mum the entire time for no reason?
There is missing info.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2020 06:35

I balled my eyes out when I got off the phone to the point I was hyperventilating,

This seems one heck of an overreaction to be honest.

Spiffingly · 02/05/2020 07:00

phil, it sounds more like she has simply snapped after years of shitty behaviour. Nobody really breaks down after one incident of crappy ness in an otherwise good relationship.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2020 07:08

@Spiffingly that's a very fair point. To be honest he was behaving like a complete dick. Absolutely no part of it was even remotely funny.

SpillTheTeaa · 02/05/2020 07:09

I was once with someone who disliked my mum for no reason. He's an ex for a reason.

EdwinaMay · 02/05/2020 07:11

He is jealous of the close relationship you have with your DM and the fact that you give your time to her and not just to him.
Do you have children.

ChristianGreysAnatomy · 02/05/2020 07:12

Jeez he was SO rude. Fuck the tv programme and fuck all this rubbish about moving to another room. He was mean and horrible and you need to call him out on it. Get angry.

FlowerArranger · 02/05/2020 07:20

I balled my eyes out when I got off the phone to the point I was hyperventilating, but was totally ignored by my husband. ... We've only really got on super well since lockdown, before then I was juggling everything and now we're super chilled.

Plus: you have been together for 24 years and he has always hated your mum.

To be bawling and hyperventilating over his admittedly inconsiderate and juvenile behaviour may seem excessive - or was it just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back? This must surely be about way more than this incident, and indicative of more than him hating your mother.

Whilst I understand that relationships with MIL can be tricky, hatred is a very strong sentiment, particularly if it's still so vehement after a quarter of a century.

And there must be a huge backstory about you juggling everything. Why has lockdown resulted in the two of you suddenly being super chilled? What does that even mean?

Can you tell us what's really going on?

Shoxfordian · 02/05/2020 07:53

Why does he hate your Mum? Does he hate anyone trying to take your attention away from him?

Shinyletsbebadguys · 02/05/2020 08:51

This is an interesting one because frankly neither of you come off well. Yes he was childish and silly. However if DP pulled any of that I would at the time call him out on it and ask what the hell he was doing ?

Again as other pp say it depends why he hates your dm , my DP is unimpressed with my DP (granted he wouldn't pull this stunt) but it's because actually they do have form for behaving badly and actually hey did play massive mind games when we were first together.

Your histrionics do sound over the top , as does your message about how could you love a man who doesnt love your mum. That's a bit dramatic. Neither exdh or DP love my mum , they dont need to , they love me. I expect courtesy from them to her but that's it.

Unless this really is a breakdown after years hyperventilating while crying is dramatic and ridiculous so makes me wonder how much you set this up a bit for the drama

crispysausagerolls · 02/05/2020 08:53

I suspect that you could have left the room as you have repeatedly avoided this question. That’s unreasonable.

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 02/05/2020 08:58

I agree with Nauseaandnipples.
A little less hysterics about a phone call BUT why doeznt he like you having a relationship with your " lovely " Mum. Hmmm??
Tell the wanker to fuck off!

KatherineJaneway · 02/05/2020 08:58

Someone taking a call when I am trying to watch TV would annoy me. Why didn't you just leave the room?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread