ABU to put a note on my very rural door telling randoms to eff off.

[KnickersandGnomes]

Possibly outing but I'm a bit freaked out. Nearest neighbours are over a mile away, they really are - I live in the middle of nowhere. Couriers wont deliver because they swear they can't find the place blah blah etc etc.

I have some pretty horrid health issues, mostly Lyme Disease based and they leave me so tired and wrung out.

This afternoon I had some unexpected knocking at my door which I ignored followed up by a woman's voice in my garden and banging on my living room, bedroom and porch windows.

There was nothing put though my letter box and my garden gate was left wide open (mahoosive no no as I have five dogs) and it's left me both angry and scared.

I don't like or want to be angry and scared but I am both now so I'm hoping that the Mumsnet wisdom can help?

I have no recent partner that I have parted with on bad terms and because of my illness I live a very quiet life these days so I am utterly lost?

I don't really understand. You are confident enough to live on your own a mile away from your nearest neighbour, yet you freak out when someone comes to the door. You must have callers sometimes - everyone does. Do you always ignore them? I live in a rural spot (not as isolated as you though) and I wouldn't ignore a caller. It could be a friend or a delivery (with luck!) It might have been someone checking on your welfare due to the current situation.
Anyway, your best answer is to get a ring doorbell as someone else suggested. I can't understand why someone would not answer their door, I had never heard of this until I read it on mumsnet.

Your dogs sound a bit scary tbh OP.

Make sure that you lock doors.

It would have been wiser to shout out of a window, asking what she wanted and say that you couldn't open the door because the dogs are loose.

Perhaps she had no means of leaving a message? She might have been a dog walker who'd found an injured animal/stray dog/seen an accident and wanted to check the animal was nothing to do with you or ask you for help.
Yes banging on your windows is a bit off and would unsettle me too but tbh if i'd heard a woman's voice I wouldn't assume any dodgy intent and at least stuck my head out of the window to ask what she wanted.

I get in the moment panicking and not answering the door - especially if you don't usually get people knocking.
I would definitely think she was trying to see if you're ok or something but if you live alone I would be wary of opening the door to anyone. As PPs said open the window and say sorry I can't open the door as my big dog doesn't like strangers - then if she is being dodgy she will know there are dogs there.

There are a million reasons she was banging on your door

• our for a walk and someone has injured themselves, need to ring for an ambulance, need a bandage etc
• a courier, if you haven’t ordered something maybe someone has sent you something
• a neighbour checking up on you
• someone offering gardening services
• someone’s car had broken down and no mobile phone signal/battery
• one of your dogs had escaped and been knocked over
• smoke coming from your shed
• she’s an axe murder going out into the country in the off chance she comes across a remote house
• she’s casing your house to burgle later
• she’s your ex’s new girlfriend and want to ask you about him
• you’ve won/inherited some money and she’s a solicitor come to tell you about it

If you don’t answer/talk through the door you’ll never know and then you will be on mumsnet outraged that someone has knocked on your door and you don’t know what they wanted

OP you sound familiar and if you are the poster Ithinkyou are, could it have been the woman who was helping you get your house in order?

Oh, that's why this sounds familiar! Are you the same op?

Perhaps she had no means of leaving a message? She might have been a dog walker who'd found an injured animal/stray dog/seen an accident and wanted to check the animal was nothing to do with you or ask you for help.

That was my guess too.

Yeah...... it's not a one off and it is never good.

Which part of no neighbours for at least a mile in any direction is a mystery to you?

It's a reality to me and usually I love it. I don't have an upstairs window and I'm not going to be opening my door to random people.

Why would I do that?

I don't have any random female relatives, in fact I don't have any relatives at all these days.

Even if you live in a bungalow you must still have windows, even if they're not upstairs, they can still be opened!

If only there was a way of finding out what the woman who knocked on your door wanted.... they should change the design so you can look through them or open them somehow

My guess too. Repeated banging suggests she was either v worried about you or about something else. She sounds as though she was in a panic, why didn’t you speak to her ?

A mile isn't that far. If maybe they had lost a dog or cat or something. It literally could have been anything. You will never know.

What exactly are you going to put on the note on your door?

She could have been lost ? There may have been an emergency ?

I think in your situation I would have opened a window from upstairs and asked what she wanted, you could have said you would not open the door because of the dogs.

In retrospect it might have been better for your anxiety to have actually found out what she wanted and dealt with it in some way, than sitting and brooding about it and imagining all sorts of scenarios in your head. Better to deal with things in the light of day than take them to bed with you at night.

You can't open a downstairs window as the axe murderer will just jump right in.

Yes-why didn't you speak to her from an upstairs window??

I could NOT live there. No way.

I am turning into a giant fucking wuss these days 🥺

In the kindest way possible Op, you sound very paranoid, are you ok?

I don’t like people knocking on my door either and roll my eyes and huff every time but as others have said, you could easily have popped your head out the window or shouted through the door.

Putting a note on the door saying “shielding from covid symptoms - please don’t knock unless urgent” should stop people knocking but I don’t think you should be so scared of everybody or think that everyone has sinister motives! And if it was someone scoping out your joint wouldn’t you have been better letting them know you were home?

I don’t understand why you’d live alone if you’re too scared to open your own front door - but why couldn’t you have opened a window (at the back away from the front door) and shouted out that way?

It could have been someone looking for help after a breakdown or accident. I was once with my grandparents at their rural cottage. Someone came banging on the door as a cyclist had been knocked down and another driver had driven on to find the nearest house and ask for help/to call the police.

Don't you have a peephole you can look through to see who it is? Or just shout through the closed door that you're shielding.

Ok, you don't have upstairs windows. Shout through the door.