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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Law of Attraction Success story

269 replies

Laurend0603 · 01/05/2020 13:41

Hi all
dont do LOA constantly but it has worked a few times.
We have been trying for a baby for 4 months and this I wrote it in my notepad I will have a baby in Jan 2021 after finding out I am pregnant the end of April...yesterday the 30th April I got positive test! And they are getting stronger today. We only had sex twice this month just shows! I also made a mind movie on my phone of preg ladies and babies and watched it everyday for visulisation the universe has listened!!

OP posts:
Chockablok · 03/05/2020 07:47

how does it explain why bad things happen? If it explains the good, surely it does the bad?

I'm not sure if it does have to explain why bad things happen?

It's more than likely a placebo effect and that's why it can work.

If you genuinely believe nothing good will ever happen to you, why would you even bother trying to make something good happen?

If you are convinced you won't get that promotion then why would you bother applying?

And then the flipside, if you genuinely believe good things will happen to you, with utter conviction, you'll be subconsciously more open to opportunities.

If you believe you are destined for that promotion then of course you are going to apply for it, which substantially increases your chances over the person who didn't believe and never applied. By spending a lot of time visualising how well you'll do at the job, you will probably find it easier to come across better in the interview, you'll probably be more confident and seem more determined.

It's not really woo or magic at all. It's just doing what you can to make the roll of the dice aspect of "luck" fall in your favour.

I completely believe in "law of attraction" type stuff and it's definitely helped me. If that's naive then why does it matter if I'm happy 😂

Original poster
Laurend0603 · 03/05/2020 08:02

@chockablok Exactly who cares aslong as your happy nothing to do with anyone else 😊

No post have been shoving it down anyones throat apart from the people that keep going on about it and bringing up peoples personal troubles!

OP posts:
SmileyCloud · 03/05/2020 08:03

@Chockablok I think the way you’ve explained it makes a lot of sense and with the examples you’ve given but I think many posters have taken offence to this as it’s regarding a pregnancy.

A biological and scientific event that depends on your fertility, you can’t positively think yourself more fertile. I actually think it’s lovely for people to have a belief system and there is nothing wrong with a good bit of positive thinking, but I think the OP has just come across rather smug and it’s rubbed many people who would love nothing more than to positively think themselves pregnant up the wrong way. As we all know, it this respect LOA is total bullshit.

MouthBreathingRage · 03/05/2020 08:24

My eldest was watching an education program recently (see, aimed at primary school). It explained the 'power of positive thinking' quite well as a science. They have a few people the opportunity to count all the photos in a book, gave them (I think) 30 seconds to do so. Most said the task was impossible and instantly gave up. The ones who said 'yes, I can do this', went ahead - they realised quite quickly that they only had to read a few pages before they were just given the answer. So those who didn't try, didn't get anywhere. Those who put in the effort were rewarded with success, very basic stuff.

As we can see, it's a scientific process, not a woo one. Certainly absolutely nothing to do with getting pregnant sooner rather than later, which is why your thread has gone to shit, op.

Dozer · 03/05/2020 08:32

“Positive thinking”, placebo etc can be studied.

“LOA” and similar are woo.

peperethecat · 03/05/2020 08:40

Exactly who cares aslong as your happy nothing to do with anyone else

I'm not happy though OP. I'm not happy because I keep having miscarriages.

Are you trying to tell me that I have brought them on myself by not...what...not wanting a baby badly enough? Not wishing hard enough? That all these drugs I'm taking and invasive procedures I'm having are a waste of time because if I could just think a little more positively this wouldn't be happening to me?

Genuinely would like to know how you explain this one.

Because if I'm honest, I think it is because you have had good luck and I've had a shitload of bad luck, no more than that.

peperethecat · 03/05/2020 08:41

Although, not to put too fine a point on it, you had your positive pregnancy test three days ago OP, and three days into my first pregnancy I still believed I was lucky. So maybe don't count your chickens.

donquixotedelamancha · 03/05/2020 08:58

Exactly who cares aslong as your happy nothing to do with anyone else

You do realise you posted on a discussion forum about this, don't you? We didn't all suddenly start discussing it for no reason.

Why ask AIBU if it's nothing to do with anyone else?

Original poster
Laurend0603 · 03/05/2020 09:11

No never mentioned anything about negative thinking of miscarriages or infertility not even sure the LOA does at all! It's not my first pregnancy, it was just a story so cant really answer the questions on the negative thinking as not sure at all on this! You guys seem to know more about LOA then me to be fair! But good luck to all x

OP posts:
Original poster
Laurend0603 · 03/05/2020 09:11

And no I wasnt sure what AIBU meant I thought I was posting on a different section!

OP posts:
peperethecat · 03/05/2020 09:14

You sound very young, OP. Which might be a more scientific explanation for your ability to get pregnant.

Mummadeeze · 03/05/2020 09:15

I am not sure pregnancy and health are part of this from my point of view. And I am so sorry to read about people who have struggled with fertility which is definitely not down to a lack of want or desire. Where it has worked for me is helping me focus on career advancement and money making opportunities. I work hard but have had some lucky breaks which were things that I really asked for. I will give a good example of how it worked for me. I went round primary schools in my area to pick one for my DD and found one that felt perfect for her, but where we were living was just outside the catchment area. So I spent time talking to the universe and asking for help in getting her accepted there. I kept an eye out for properties to rent to move nearer but flats nearer the school were more expensive because it was a posher area and out of our price range. However, just in time, before the application was due we found a flat to rent that was the perfect size precisely opposite the school gate. It was really cheap and within budget so I thought there would be a catch. But it was owned by a charity who used the ground floor to house disabled servicemen and they therefore rented out the second floor under market value as they were a non profit making organisation. We moved in and she got her place in the school. Obviously finding a flat we could afford just in time for the application could have been a coincidence but it is an example of many good things that have happened when I have put that request out there. I don’t think I am special because anyone can practice this if they choose to. And if it helps you believe your life can improve, then surely that is a positive step in itself.

MouthBreathingRage · 03/05/2020 09:25

No never mentioned anything about negative thinking of miscarriages or infertility not even sure the LOA does at all!

You didn't need to mention miscarriage and infertility. By clmaining that you got pregnant through LOA, then the idea of the laws of opposite was invoked. By suggesting you became pregnant by willing it enough, in its nature it suggests that those who haven't followed the same method have failed through negativity. Do you understand that?

Either we accept that the power of positive thinking can achieve things beyond the normal (such as getting and staying pregnant), and therefore the opposite is true (negative thinking leaves you unable to conceive, or not wanting it enough causes miscarriage), or we conclude that in terms of biological function no amount of positive thoughts will result in pregnancy or a baby. It is not a fact that can be bolstered by good thoughts, and the fact you got pregnant in the time frame you wished was the of biological process of having unprotected sex. What exactly are you not understanding here op as to why some people think your OP is in bad taste?

MouthBreathingRage · 03/05/2020 09:32

@Mummadeeze, your examples are not the same as the OP at all. Getting the right school, a flat, a job, these are all matters that have many conclusions, where a boost in self confidence under the guise of positive thinking can have an effect on matters, mixed in with a bit of coincidental luck. The OP's pregnancy (and the fact it happened when she wished it to) is in no way a result of asking the universe, she didn't 'will it' more than anyone else, the self confidence she instilled in herself didn't give her an extra edge, it was purely a case of 'woman decides to have another baby, woman gets pregnant, good for her'.

Dozer · 03/05/2020 09:41

Mummadeeze Your example is one of persistence and luck. Nothing supernatural about it.

JasperRising · 03/05/2020 09:51

Obviously finding a flat we could afford just in time for the application could have been a coincidence but it is an example of many good things that have happened when I have put that request out there.

And how many times have you put a request out there and good things not happened?

As someone said back on the first page or so, we tend to remember moments of confidence and forget all the times there was no conincidence

Pelleas · 03/05/2020 09:56

So I spent time talking to the universe and asking for help in getting her accepted there. I kept an eye out for properties to rent to move nearer

The second sentence is what enabled you to succeed there, Mummadeeze.

Why, instead of patting yourself on the back for your persistence and common sense having enabled you to get your DD into the perfect school, are you choosing to credit 'the universe'?

peperethecat · 03/05/2020 09:59

@Mummadeeze The thing is, there might actually be some logic to that. Many things in life are a combination of hard work, the right mental attitude and a healthy dose of luck. But to a certain extent I think you make your own luck. People with the right mental attitude might be more likely to see the opportunity in what seems to be a hopeless situation, or have a positive conversation with someone who could be in a position to help them, whereas someone who is a Debbie Downer all the time might let opportunities pass them by because they're too busy focusing on the negatives.

But I really don't think this applies to health at all. Beyond eating a reasonable diet, not smoking, doing drugs or drinking too much and getting a decent amount of sleep and exercise, there is very little you can do to influence your health.

Fertility in particular is basically just a combination of age and luck. And women suffering from infertility or pregnancy loss can't change either of those things. They can't turn the clock back and start trying for a baby when they were 21. (Maybe they did start trying for a baby when they were 21.) And in most cases they are already being careful about their lifestyle and taking all the vitamins and doing absolutely everything they can do to increase their chances. And yet they all know women who partied throughout their 20s and 30s and then got instantly pregnant when they wanted to in their late 30s and early 40s. And they've all heard stories of heroine addicted babies being born to drug addicted mothers and taken away by social services at birth. And maybe, like me, they've walked out of hospital after a D&C and bumped into a heavily pregnant woman smoking a cigarette in the car park. So yeah, those women know there is very little you can do to change your luck when it comes to fertility. You're just lucky or you aren't. That's it.

acatcalledjohn · 03/05/2020 10:14

Obviously finding a flat we could afford just in time for the application could have been a coincidence but it is an example of many good things that have happened when I have put that request out there.

No "could have been" about it. It IS a coincidence, but you increased the likelihood by making a real effort to find a place. What you "asked the universe" has nothing to do with it.

The OP wrote something in a notepad, but it is the sex that got her pregnant.

Positive attitude is powerful simply because it makes people work harder.

Law of attraction is brainwashing bullshit.

OhTheManatee · 03/05/2020 10:18

I think you can take my OP as like..but no mention of others just a little story didnt mean to attract so much negativity, positive vibes only

OP, you must have been putting a lot of negativity out into the universe to have attracted so many negative comments on your post.

HolyWells · 03/05/2020 10:24

It's like some kind of personal religion for people who can't be arsed with the difficult bits of conventional faith, like attempting to behave with justice and charity towards others, and who literally have no conception they might care about anything beyond their own goals. And who appear to think the 'universe' operates like an Argos catalogue.

Original poster
Laurend0603 · 03/05/2020 10:31

No not at all very positive here! You cant alter the actions of others on LOA anyway...I.e a negative person you cant change into a positive one. But the people making the negative comments will attract negativity into situations

OP posts:
Peapod29 · 03/05/2020 10:37

Holywells that’s it exactly. I’ve noticed before that the people I know who go in for this tend to be quite highly strung, selfish and control freaks (although lots of good qualities too). It must give them the control they crave.

waterlego · 03/05/2020 10:43

If you genuinely believe nothing good will ever happen to you, why would you even bother trying to make something good happen?

But the women here who have shared their stories of infertility and miscarriage DID have hope- that’s why they tried to get pregnant in the first place. They all had hopes for a pregnancy and a healthy baby. But the ‘universe’ didn’t grant it. Do you see why this is offensive and upsetting to those people?

OhTheManatee · 03/05/2020 10:43

@Laurend0603 You misunderstand. I wasn't asking if you were negative, it's very clear. You have created this situation (the post) and it has attracted negativity. Regardless of whether this comes from others, you have brought it into the situation. I think you need to take another look at what you are putting out there. It can be easy to think we're only being positive if we don't carefully examine our own vibes.