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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To meet parents...

101 replies

Jadefeather7 · 01/05/2020 00:54

When DH and I have been isolating for four weeks (we work from home) and haven’t been out except for grocery shopping once a week (where we pick up groceries for my parents). My parents have also been totally isolated since this all started.

OP posts:
BF888 · 01/05/2020 01:02

Do what works best for you and your family. Had lots of chats with different neighbours who have been visiting family all be it infrequently, one of them is intelligent guy and goes with his wife and daughter to his parents who are 65-72. They keep space between and no hugging etc. As long as you are all comfortable doing the same thing. The way I see it at this stage is if restrictions are going to be eased imminently (I’ve noticed this in supermarkets already) then is it really any different to going to the shops?

iswhois · 01/05/2020 01:14

Not unless there is a real crisis.

People are losing their loved ones because of this virus. Why would you want to bend the rules?

ineedaholidaynow · 01/05/2020 01:19

What restrictions have been eased in supermarkets?

If you have been shopping you haven’t been isolating

BF888 · 01/05/2020 01:24

A hospital in the north west where my friend works as children’s nurse didn’t give their nhs staff suitable social distancing when they required them to learn and do some training for Covid. Over 100 people in a room close contact, who have to go home and look after their own families, who also go into shops because they have to eat. If this happened in one hospital in the north west can you imagine all over the country? I really don’t think OP going to see her parents who haven’t left the house is going to cause a second wave. Boris was allowed to be at his child’s birth, I know multiple people who have had to give birth alone and had to attended appointment alone. Why is it one rule for those in government and another for everyone else?

BF888 · 01/05/2020 01:26

@ineedaholidaynow in a local M&S they removed the wiping station, more people allowed in stores. I also have been to Aldi varied times in the last couple of weeks and that particular store also had no queueing and inside people definitely weren’t social distancing and nothing was said about it.

Original poster
Jadefeather7 · 01/05/2020 01:41

The reason I ask is that I just don’t see where the risk is. We haven’t seen them for 4 weeks because we felt we could have picked something up before we started isolating but now four weeks have passed I just don’t think we can pass on anything to them, unless we have picked up something from touching stuff in the supermarket but again when we shop we drop off their shopping so there’s already that risk there of picking something up from touching shopping. Since the last time we went shopping (a week ago) no one has developed any symptoms .

OP posts:
Rosebel · 01/05/2020 01:54

Well bend the rules if you like as long as you can live with the consequences.

BF888 · 01/05/2020 02:17

@jadefeather7 I think go with what you choose is right for you all. I understand and see your point, You don’t need approval as most will disagree anyway.

@rosebel I think that’s below the belt. I hope you practice social distancing come flu season and have the same attitude then.

PhoebeBear · 01/05/2020 04:50

I'm in the same boat. Currently on maternity leave and partner has been laid off from his job, we've been home for 6 weeks straight. We also only leave to get food shopping.
Partners parents come by almost every day with a few bits and bobs for us and baby, they stand at the garden gate but lately have been coming closer to us and have also invited us to their new house on Saturday. I've told my partner I'm concerned as you're not supposed to be in contact with other people. His parents are too laid back. My mum works alongside covid 19 patients and I've saw her twice over the 6 weeks isolation period, she stands at gate and leaves within 5 minutes as she says it's very serious.

Two completely different peoples views on the case- I know which one I'd stand by x

IHaveBrilloHair · 01/05/2020 05:07

I'm shielding and will do my best for as long as it takes, but I'm letting my 18yr old Dd come over at the weekend because she needs her Mum.
Going forward I've a plan to see her weekly, but still shield, but this time, she needs me.

Winterwoollies · 01/05/2020 07:44

The supermarket is people soup. It’s the most likely place you’d be to pick it up, surely? And if you’ve been going there weekly, you’ve been risking it weekly. Why would you want to potentially expose your parents to that?

SnuggyBuggy · 01/05/2020 07:52

I can honestly see us getting to the point where we say fuck it and go and see parents at some point this summer. Maybe it's wrong but I'm caring less and less to be honest.

PhilCornwall1 · 01/05/2020 07:55

Well bend the rules if you like as long as you can live with the consequences.

You know 100% there will be consequences? No of course you don't.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 01/05/2020 07:55

You’ve not been isolating though as you’ve been to a supermarket.

So many eager to break the rules, it’s very sad. Own wants seem priority over others health.

Rosebel · 01/05/2020 08:04

I just know I wouldn't be willing to risk my parents health. There might not be consequences (hopefully) but I couldn't risk it.

AmelieTaylor · 01/05/2020 08:04

Just because it's difficult to see the risk doesn't mean it's not there.

Do you really think all the people with CV & who have DIED of CV had been sneezed or coughed on by someone with CV?! Seriously?

Why would you take the risk with people you live so much you're missing them after a few weeks. I can tell you missing them because they're dead is a whole different level of difficult & I cannot imagine the guilt I'd feel if I inadvertently passed it into a lived one.

Whitney101 · 01/05/2020 08:08

I can honestly see us getting to the point where we say fuck it and go and see parents at some point this summer. Maybe it's wrong but I'm caring less and less to be honest.

I don’t think you’re alone here. I’m generally getting that vibe.

ineedaholidaynow · 01/05/2020 08:12

I really don’t understand it when people say they have been isolating when they have been going to the supermarket Confused

RebelWhoWashesFor19Seconds · 01/05/2020 08:13

No it's fine. Lockdown doesn't mean you can't meet up with family who don't live in the same household. I don't think people know lockdown means you just need to see your family and mates a little bit less than you normally do.

Oh. Wait.

heartsonacake · 01/05/2020 08:15

YABVU. You’ve not been isolating and you would be putting yourselves, your parents and others at risk by doing this. Don’t be selfish.

GindependantWoman · 01/05/2020 08:16

You don't see where the risk is??? It's obvious where the risk is.

You have been to the shops. You could have picked it up there. Easily. You are then able to spread it for up to 14 days when you haven't developed symptoms. You see them in this stage and they get it. They must be older. They are at risk. Because you wanted to see them. For an unnecessary reason.

AvoidingRealHumans · 01/05/2020 08:19

Just go, you won't get the green light on here and you should have known before posting.
I agree with others that people are getting fed up and will start doing what they want soon. Lots of people have had enough and after hearing that we will hear soon the plan of easing lockdown I think people think it's nearly over so might aswell do what I want.

About supermarkets loosening restrictions that might be right, a friend text me yesterday saying she popped to tesco and there was no queue and it was really busy inside.

You know the guidelines but have done a risk assessment for yourself and think it will be ok. So just go and enjoy your visit.

Loubylou79 · 01/05/2020 08:22

And this is why people will continue to die 😕

mummypie17 · 01/05/2020 08:26

I think it depends on how your parents feel about it and whether or not they're ok with the risk

ineedaholidaynow · 01/05/2020 08:29

How do you know what the new guidelines will be when they ease the lockdown? Social distancing, not mixing households etc might still be required. We are not going back to normal straight away.